Shasta

A dozen elves materialize out of the woods and surround Sean. Fiona throws some dust at Sean, and he passes out. The elves pick him up and carry him as they follow Fiona into a nearby cave entrance.

Archie runs away in terror.

BACK TO PRESENT:

INT. KNUTE LOVE'S MANSION, LIBRARY

Natalie closes the book.

NATALIE:

This is getting ridiculous. He must think I've got shit for brains.

EXT. BOAT - DAY

A large boat is off the California coast with San Francisco in the distance. On board is Natalie, Tony, Manny and JILL, 20's and good-looking. Tony and Manny are fishing.

MANNY:

So, this is the lifestyle of the rich and famous San Francisco QB. Sure as hell ain't the lifestyle I'm used to.

TONY:

You wouldn't believe how much this barge set me back.

MANNY:

Yeah? I gotta talk to my agent.

Natalie hands beers to the guys.

NATALIE:

What are you fishing for?

TONY:

Whatever takes the bait.

Jill approaches them.

JILL:

This place is famous for Great White Sharks.

Manny looks around.

MANNY:

We gonna need a bigger boat?

TONY:

No, Man. We'll just toss you overboard. That should fill 'em up.

Manny LAUGHS.

MANNY:

I gotta go on a diet.

TONY:

How's the Love story, Babe?

NATALIE:

I think he's yanking my chain.

Manny glances at Jill.

MANNY:

Wish something would yank my pole.

Tony looks at Natalie and stifles a laugh.

NATALIE:

Seriously, he's got me reading his mother's journal and, believe me, the Brother's Grimm couldn't make that shit up.

JILL:

Like what?

NATALIE:

Flying saucers, for starters.

MANNY:

They're real.

Everyone looks at him.

MANNY (CONT’D)

No shit. I saw one.

NATALIE:

You mean some weird light in the sky?

MANNY:

More like sitting on the ground in a field. I was hunting over in southeast Ohio... you know... in the hills and bang, there it was. Scared the shit out of me.

Natalie looks thoughtful.

NATALIE:

Well, what the hell. Maybe I'll find out what his game is.

FLASHBACK TO:

INT. CAVE - DAY

Sean awakens. He notices he's being carried through a door. As he goes through, he emerges into

EXT. FAIRYLAND - DAY

The place is incredibly beautiful, with sparkling flowers and waterfalls, and gorgeous colors. Numerous fairies, looking like scantily clad beautiful woman, are gracefully dancing to sensuous music around a circle.

Fiona takes Sean by the hand and leads him into the circle where he finds himself dancing gracefully as well.

SEAN:

What the hell. I must be seeing things.

FIONA:

Not so. You're merely in another reality. Strange how humans think yours is the only one.

Fiona takes Sean by the hand again, and leads him to a grass-covered hill overlooking the circle of dancers.

SEAN:

You're one luscious dame. Ain't your real looks, though. Right?

FIONA:

I have no real looks.

SEAN:

Okay. Got it. Just don't turn gorilla on me again.

EXT. CABIN - DAY

Sandra is standing next to the cabin, scanning the surrounding area. Sean's car is still parked in the same place.

SANDRA:

(yells)

Sean!... Sean!... Sean!

INT. SHERIFF'S OFFICE - DAY

Sandra is sitting at a desk across from a fat old SHERIFF, who is taking her statement.

SHERIFF:

So you say you hired this drifter and now he's gone?

SANDRA:

That's what I said. He was working on my cabin and then he disappeared.

SHERIFF:

I guess that's why they call them drifters, right?

SANDRA:

He left his car! He was getting paid that afternoon!

SHERIFF:

What else was he getting?

SANDRA:

I beg your pardon?

SHERIFF:

Were you romantically involved?

SANDRA:

No, of course not!

SHERIFF:

Look, I knew your husband... Let's just say you must be lonely. Are you sure you aren't just upset this guy took advantage of you and then left?

SANDRA:

What the hell? I come in here to file a missing persons report, and you're grilling me like this?

SHERIFF:

Just establishing the facts.

SANDRA:

For God sakes! Just look for the guy, will you? Is that unreasonable?

SHERIFF:

That's our job.

SANDRA:

What about Archie? What's his story?

SHERIFF:

Don't know. Looks like he took a powder.

EXT. FAIRYLAND - DAY

Sean is eating as he and Fiona sit on a carpet of flowers.

SEAN:

Damn, this is grub is dynamite!

FIONA:

I'm glad you are pleased.

SEAN:

Pleased? That ain't the half of it!

FIONA:

I'm happy, then.

SEAN:

Got a question.

FIONA:

Yes?

SEAN:

Why me?

FIONA:

You were drawn here.

SEAN:

What's that mean?

FIONA:

Some humans can see what others can't.

SEAN:

Yeah. Like pink elephants!

Fiona starts to disrobe.

SEAN (CONT’D)

You doing what I think you're doing?

FIONA:

I think you'll be even more pleased with this sight.

EXT. CABIN - DAY

Sandra inspects the cabin. It's completely repaired. A car drives up and Archie gets out.

SANDRA:

Where the hell have you been? It's been months.

Archie ignores her as he looks at the cabin.

ARCHIE:

Place looks great.

SANDRA:

No thanks to you. Or Sean.

ARCHIE:

He turn up?

Sandra shakes her head. Archie notices she's on the verge of tears.

ARCHIE (CONT’D)

Must have been tough. Ditching you like that.

SANDRA:

Damned right. Had to hire... What happened? Did he say anything?

Archie shakes his head.

ARCHIE:

Maybe he's off busting rocks somewhere. Or maybe just licking a new lollipop, if you know what I mean.

Sandra turns away so Archie won't see a tear coming down her cheek.

EXT. FAIRYLAND - DAY

Sean is dancing in the circle. After a while, he leaves and approaches Fiona, who has been watching from her knoll.

SEAN:

Fiona, this is the Ritz, but I gotta go.

FIONA:

Yes, I know.

SEAN:

Then I can scram, right?

FIONA:

Yes, it is time. We will miss you, Sean.

SEAN:

Maybe I can drop in now and then. Be tough knowing where to knock, though.

FIONA:

Just come to the mountain, Sean.

INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY

SUPER:
OCTOBER 1947

Sandra pays the clerk for a bag of groceries.

EXT. SANDRA'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Sandra's car pulls in the driveway. She gets out of the car, grocery bag in her arm, and looks up at the sky, seemingly bewildered.

INT. SANDRA'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Sandra enters the kitchen and turns on the light. She glances at the clock and is astonished to find it reads after nine o'clock.

SANDRA:

Can't be that late.

She goes to the phone and dials.

SANDRA (CONT’D)

Hey Ed! Sandra. I was in your store a few minutes ago... What do you mean, it's been hours?... I guess I did lose track of time.

EXT. FOREST ON MOUNT SHASTA - DAY

SUPER:
SEPTEMBER 1948

Sean wakes up in the same place he met Fiona.

SEAN:

Shit! What a dream!

He gets up, grabs the rifle, and notices in astonishment that it is quite rusty.

EXT. OLD CABIN - LATER

Sean approaches the cabin and finds it's been completely repaired. He also sees his car is gone.

INT. SANDRA'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Sandra is listening to the radio while breast feeding an infant. She hears a KNOCK on the door. She covers up, and goes to the door, infant in her arms. She opens it and is astonished to see Sean.

SANDRA:

Sean! My God! It's you! Where--

SEAN:

We gotta talk.

SANDRA:

Sure as shit we do!

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