Casper Page #2

shot down in... #

Oh, honey, I'm sorry about

your Cactus Spooners. Crooners.

I don't care what they said.

You are not demented.

You're a picture of mental health.

They were talking about you.

Try explaining afterlife therapy

to a bunch of junior high kids.

Some people go through life

never questioning the norm.

But you and I, we're doing something

extraordinary with our lives.

No, we aren't doing anything.

You're the one who's been packing up my

stuff and moving me around the country.

In two years, I have been

to nine different schools.

I have eaten in nine

different cafeterias.

I can't even

remember anyone's name.

For once, I would

just like to be...

in one place long enough

to make a friend.

Honey, you will.

I mean, come on. We're

movin' to Friendship, Maine.

Even I might make one.

You better, Dad.

'Cause a single guy your age is more

likely to become a bank hostage...

than to make new friends.

You sound like your mother.

You're not gonna find her.

Mom's not a ghost, Dad.

Oh, yes, she is.

She has unfinished business.

There's no such thing

as ghosts.

I'll tell you what. You go

with me this one last time.

If I don't find what

I'm looking for, it's over.

No more moving,

no more ghost mining.

You promise?

I promise.

Deal.

Wow! It's not

so bad, huh?

If you're Stephen King.

Dr. Harvey, hello.

I'm Carrigan Crittenden.

And this is Dibs.

Hello.

I'm a close,

personal friend.

Ah.

And this is my daughter, Kat.

His close,

personal daughter.

- How nice to meet you, Kat.

- Very nice to meet you.

- You have a beautiful daughter.

- Very beautiful.

I can't tell you how happy we

are you could come to Whipstaff.

- Very happy.

- The both of us.

You're kind of

hurting my face.

Sorry. Now, Dr. Harvey,

exactly what time frame

are you looking at?

Tell me you go in the house

and spray and that's it.

Pssssst!

No, no, no.

As with a traditional psychological

cure, it can take weeks or years for...

Excuse me. You didn't just

say the word "years," did you?

It's conceivable.

No, it isn't.

- Days is conceivable. Weeks, maybe.

- Possibly.

- Months? No. Years? Forget it!

- Forget it.

Dibs, check.

Get the bouquet.

Now, Dr. Harvey.

I will be watching you

very closely.

These are for you!

Have a lovely night.

Wow.

It's her. She's here.

She's in my house. I did it!

What if she likes me?

What if she doesn't?

Hi, I'm Casper.

I'm a ghost?

No, that's total disaster. Oh!

Yo, I'm Casper.

So, give me four.

Oh, God,

I'd kill for a pinky.

Huh? See?

That was easy.

Yeah. These should hold for now, but we

ought to get a box of 20 amps in the morning.

Oh, uh,

right, yeah.

Uh, twenties

should be fine.

All right, I'm gonna

go find a room, Dad.

You gonna be

all right alone?

Hey, if I'm not back in ten

days, send a search party.

"Stretch,"

"Fatso"...

and "Stinkie"?

Man, they had cruel parents.

Wonder where

Doc and Dopey sleep.

Dad! I found my room.

There's a girl...

on my bed. Yes!

Hey, space master.

In here.

Oh.

It's very scary.

Have you seen

any surprises yet?

Please. This is

the deadest place yet.

Oh, this is

a nice room.

Yeah, right. This place

is a freak's holiday.

Hi... Ooh! Ooh!

- Oh.

- Oh.

Mom belongs over here.

Hey, how about

if I help you unpack?

Why bother? We'll just be repacking

in two weeks anyway, right?

I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

This place is... fine.

Good. Night, Bucket.

Night, Dad.

We're gonna be glad we came.

You watch.

Wh... Whoa!

Ooh, ooh!

Uh...

I... No.

I...

Uh...

Uh... hi?

Oh, man!

Perfect first impression!

What a jerk!

Better?

Honey!

Hon... Honey?

Honey, what?

Dad, Dad,

I saw a ghost!

- It was a real ghost! It was a real, live ghost!

- Slow down. What?

I saw a ghost.

It had a head, and it was

round, and it was white and see-through.

- Honey, wait. Now maybe...

- Dad, please.

Do not think I'm as crazy as

I thought you were. I promise.

No, no, no. But remember,

ghosts can't hurt you, okay?

They're simply spirits

with unfinished business.

Let's just see

about this ghost.

Come here. Come on.

Check here. Oop, see?

No ghost there.

Now we can check over here.

Nope.

Oh! No, there's

no ghost in there.

We can even check over here.

There. See?

Pleasure to meet you, sir!

Dad!

Put me down!

This is insane!

What are you doing?

I can walk, you know?

Oh, my God, this is big.

Um, Dad?

What?

We're in a closet.

Right

Now, I want you to stay in here...

no matter what you hear, okay?

- Okay.

- Okay.

Wait.

What?

Dad, I'm sorry.

For what?

For not believing you.

For thinking you were a total loser.

Aw, honey...

Apologize later.

Blew it, blew it, blew it, blew it...

Yee-haw!

Uh-oh, it's them!

Here they come!

Yee-haw!

Man, oh, man, them ponies run

faster when we go down to Belmont.

Here, Flicka.

Bleaaugh!

Hey, guys.

Have fun?

Oh, look, it's Casper!

Casper.

You know on a scale of one

to ten... ten being fun,

and one being you...

yeah, we had fun.

Giddy-up there!

Say, bulbhead, why ain't you

inside doin' your chores?

Yeah, where's dinner?

I'm starvin'! I'm wastin' away!

I know. How about you guys relax out

here, and tonight we'll eat al fresco?

Hey, sounds great!

Who's that?

Short sheet, you wouldn't be trying

to keep us outta the house, would ya?

No! No! I can see right through

that bulbous head of yours!

It's just such a lovely night!

I thought we'd have fun

eating under the harvest moon!

# Shine on #

# Shine on, harvest moon

Up in the sky #

Aaah!

Bye-bye!

Hey, hold it!

Hey, Fatso, you smell somethin'? Yeah!

No, besides him.

Hello?

Huh? Hey!

Hello?

No need to be afraid.

The idea, don't be afraid.

I'd like to make contact with you,

but just one little thing, please.

Don't pop out from under a rug

or through a keyhole.

No spooking.

Let's get beyond that.

I would like to approach you.

Now, I'm coming

in the room now.

I'm in, in the room.

Can ya deal with that?

Can you?

Dive!

Dive!

Dive! Huh?

Dad!

Dad?

I'm gonna kill you, your mama and all her

bridge-playin' friends.

You think you got it tough? I got a face-lift.

There was one just like it underneath.

Hmph? Hmph?

Aaah!

Aah! Aah-aah!

Aaah!

Aah!

Dad? Dad?

Ah!

Hey, boys, we got a closet case here!

Smell-o-gram.

Sushi, anyone?

California roll coming up!

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa!

All for one, and one for all!

Catch your pants before they fall!

On the runway now, we have Dr. James

Harvey, wearing smashing underwear.

Marky Mark he's not!

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