'Pimpernel' Smith Page #3

believe that nonsense?

- Yes I do.

- It couldn't be the same man.

- It might be.

- It couldn't be!

Here, here, here, here, here!

He couldn't be everywhere.

- He could.

- And last night here

on the Swiss frontier.

Let's go see how the

reports are coming in.

- Right.

- What's the latest about Planker?

- Oh a message from Breslov.

No information regarding

identity of unknown man

who assisted in Karl Planker's escape.

- Still no news of this fellow.

Means trouble for someone.

Any news?

- Message from Hamburg.

No information regarding

identity of unknown man

who prevented the

execution of Josef Fiatz.

- Breslaw, Hamburg, Belgian

frontier, French frontier.

All the same, no news.

- Planker seems to have got away.

- Over the Swiss border, same

as Josefs and Blumenfeld.

- Shankenhurst went through Holland.

But it's this damn shadow

that Graum's after,

if we can believe in it.

- Well I do.

- You call this thing a report?

What is the use, Herr

Kommandant, of the gestapo

arresting enemies of the

Reich if you permit them

to escape?

- Every precaution was taken.

- That's no excuse for your conduct.

- We are answerable for our

conduct to General von Graum,

not to his assistant.

Kindly have my report delivered.

- I'm afraid you'll regret

that, Herr Kommandant.

Please wait outside.

Schmidt?

Take this report to General von Graum.

- Yes sir.

Oh, don't you think?

- At once!

- Yes sir.

Get out, you!

- Oh, Hoffman.

- Yes?

Oh, hello Schmidt.

- Take this report in there.

- What is it?

- Another report from

the prison kommandant

about Karl Planker's escape.

- I'm sorry, just going to have my lunch.

- Hoffman, this is an order.

- Herr Reich Minister.

- Know your enemy.

I am told that the English

have a secret weapon.

Their sense of humor, and

I am determined to find out

all about it.

For instance.

PG Wodehouse.

Listen.

"The man with the beard sighed.

"Down in the forest something stirred."

Is that funny?

- No, it's not funny.

- Good.

Now, the famous English

humoristic journal Punch.

"Young lady at telephone.

"You say you have met an

officer and a gentleman.

"Well, bring them both up."

Not funny?

- No, not funny.

- Good, now Edward Lear.

"There was an old man of Bengal

"went to a fancy dress ball.

"He said I'll risk it and go as a biscuit

"and the dog ate him up in the hall."

Very unfunny.

- Yes, very.

- Now Herr Lewis Carroll.

"Alice Through the Looking Glass.

"Twas brillig and the slithy toves

"did gyre and gimble in the wabe."

Painful rubbish.

- Very painful.

- I have come to the

conclusion that the English

sense of humor is a myth.

They have no sense of humor and therefore

they have no secret

weapon, the whole thing

is a complete bluff.

- Yes, yes.

- Ah, but wait.

When I am Gauleiter of

London I shall see to it

that there is no talk of sense of humor.

- Oh you will, Herr Reich Minister.

- Well what is this?

- A report on the escape of Karl Planker.

- Ah.

Schmidt and Marx, bring them here.

Get them!

I shall see the prisoner

Koslowski in three minutes.

Ah, come in gentlemen, come in.

Incompetent clowns!

You have read this report?

- I have sir, I told the prison

kommandant what to expect.

- You did, eh?

- The frontiers are watched,

all foreigners questioned.

It won't be long before we get the man

who arranged these escapes.

- Oh, then you have his description?

- Hardly, sir.

- Well.

And it never occurred to

you to question the one man

who could give it to you?

- Who, sir?

- Send in Sidimir Koslowski.

- Of course.

- Just so.

A more impatient man might

resent having to supply

all the brains in his department.

- Prisoner Koslowski.

- Ah, just the man we want to see.

I wanted to have a little

chat with you about freedom.

Oh, not the paper you edit,

but your own personal freedom.

- Well?

- At our last interview I

asked you to let me have a list

of the persons who had

contributed matter to your paper

contrary to the interests of the Reich.

- You did.

- Well suppose we forget that.

- It'll save you a lot of disappointment.

- And suppose you answer

me a much simpler question.

- In return for what?

- Ticket to Warsaw, the

freedom of your own country.

While it exists.

- What do you want?

- A description of the man

who prevented the arrest

of Dr. Benckendorf.

- I can't give it.

- You were present at the time.

A trained observer must have noticed some

little peculiarity.

How he walked, he talked, his height.

What was his nationality?

- I've no idea.

- Oh come.

I should hate to leave

you to the tender mercies

of those idiots who've just gone out.

- Very well then.

Under duress.

He was seven feet high

and covered with red hair.

- I see.

You are, I believe, a married man.

- Correct.

But with Europe in its present state,

my family is abroad.

- Your family consisting of one daughter?

- Yes.

She is safely in America.

- In America, yes.

Thank you.

Good day.

- Is it the real thing, sir?

- No, Master Gregson, I'm

afraid it's just a flint

from one of Mr. Hitler's new roads.

- Letter for you, Prof.

- Oh, thank you.

I'm very sorry, Mr. Gregson.

Well, look at that.

Oh that's very pretty.

An invitation from our embassy in Berlin.

Berlin?

Oh that seems an awful long way away.

- Wait a minute, don't

tell me you've forgotten

we're all set for Berlin tomorrow morning?

- Are we?

- Sure.

- What time are we leaving?

- 9:
52.

- Oh.

AM?

- AM, and I'm gonna write it down.

9:
52.

Now it's right here in your pocket.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Well gentlemen, I shall

see you on the train.

9:
58.

- Two!

- Two.

- But where are you going tonight, sir?

Aren't you going to stay here?

- Probably.

Probably.

- Thank you.

- Don't worry about me.

- You know, some guys

should go around in a lead.

- er kommt.

What did I tell you?

- Get rid of it, you fool!

- What are you doing you two?

- Nothing.

- You were looking at something.

- I was only looking at his hands.

- Why?

- Because they're the hands

of the world's greatest

pianist.

- Well, who wants to

look at the dirty hands

of a dirty loafer?

I shall report you for this.

Name?

- Meyer, Karl Meyer.

- Get on with your work or

you'll have a taste of this.

- How do you expect to be

rescued from this place?

Nothing but fields and open country.

- I don't know, but I believe.

There have been others, you know.

- Stop talking there!

Next time there's any

trouble it'll be one of you

scarecrows!

- Gosh, the shadow's been at it again.

World famous pianist

escapes from labor camp.

- Let's have a look.

Karl Meyer the pianist is

reported to have crossed

the French frontier in

an exhausted condition.

- It is suggested that

his escape is effected

by the mysterious personage

believed to have been

responsible for similar

rescues of other enemies of

the Reich.

- What a game, what a game.

- Better than burrowing like a rabbit

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