200 Motels
- R
- Year:
- 1971
- 98 min
- 698 Views
A MURAKAMI / WOLF / BIZARRE PRODUCTION
color by Technicolor
THEODORE BIKEL:
Music performed by The Mothers of Invention
MARK VOLMAN / HOWARD KAYLAN / IAN UNDERWOOD /AYNSLEY DUNBAR / GEORGE DUKE
Introducing:
LUCY OFFERALL / JIMMY CARL BLACK
RUTH UNDERWOOD /JUDY GRIDLEY
RINGO STARR:
FRANK ZAPPA'S 200 MOTELS
Music composed and arranged by:
FRANK ZAPPA:
Music performed by:
THE ROYAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA
Choreographed by:
GILLIAN LYNNE:
Story and screenplay by
FRANK ZAPPA:
Shooting script by:
TONY PALMER:
Associate producers
Produced by
characterizations directed by
FRANK ZAPPA:
Visuals directed by
TONY PALMER:
Ladies and gentlemen!
200 motels
200 motels . . . Life on the road!
Ladies and gentlemen! and here is . . .
Who?
Larry the dwarf!
Tonight he's dressed up like Frank Zappa
Let's ask him "What's the deal?"
Hi Larry, it's good to have you back
on our panel.
Hi Dave, it's really great to be back on your panel.
I'm sure the people at home would be interested to know why such a large dwarf as you is all dressed up like Frank Zappa.
Tell us Larry, eh . . . what's the deal?
He made me do it, Dave. He's such a creep.
He's making me hold this alladin.
And why is he making you do that, Larry?
He wants me to f*** the girl with the harp.
He wants you to f*** the girl . . . with the harp?
No, no, with the magic lamp. He wants me to stuff it
up her and rub it.
Hm. Hm-hm-hm. Ho-ho-ho, ha-ha. A-HA-HA-HA-HO-HO.
Let's ask our studio audience. If you'd just been lowered down here on TV by a wire connected to a brown leather
harness, forced by a crazy person to insert a mysterious, imported lamp into the reproductive-rep-rep-rep into-into
the rep-rep-reproductive orifice of a lady harpist
and you were a dwarf . . . would you do it?
YES!!!
Yay!
Let's spin the big wheel, Larry! Go ahead,
give it a whirl!
What our studio audience doesn't know is that
is doing all this stuff is because its all part
of the score to 200 Motels. Every word,
every action, the lamp,
the reproductive orifice, it's all in the score, so he
has to do it. This whole event is a fantasy that occurred touring on the road. Touring can make you crazy, ladies and gentlemen.
That is precisely what 200 Motels is all about.
Say!
Ow! Look out!
Ow! Look out!
Ow! Look out!
How long?
How long?
Till that mystery roach be arrivin' soon
Ya-ooo Ya-ooo Ya-ooo Ya-ooo
That mystery roach be approachin'
That mystery roach be approachin' me
La La La La La La La, Oof!
How long?
How long?
Till that mystery roach been gone
Ya-ooo-ooo-oo-ooo
Ya-ooo-ooo-oo-ooo
That mystery roach be approachin'
That mystery roach be approachin' me
La La La La La La La, Oof!
That mystery roach be approachin'
That mystery roach be approachin' me
La La La La La La La, Oof!
Mystery mystery mystery mystery
mystery mystery mystery roach!
Mystery mystery mystery mystery
mystery mystery mystery roach!
Mystery mystery mystery mystery
mystery mystery mystery roach!
Mystery mystery mystery mystery
mystery mystery mystery roach!
Mystery mystery mystery mystery
mystery mystery mystery roach!
Mystery mystery mystery mystery
mystery mystery mystery roach!
Room service?
Ah . . . a mystery roach . . .
What are we SINGING about?
We must be . . . FLIPPING OUT!
Special delivery for Mr. Volman! Mr. Volman?
Are you Volman?
(Sniff sniff) Do you smell somethin' weird? (Sniff sniff)
It's a double cheeseburger from a famous American
burger chain, with a symbol in the parking lot
that's yellow plastic and goes like this:
RANCE MUHAMMITZ . . .
RANCE MUHAMMITZ . . .
RANCE . . .
RANCE MUHAMMITZ . . .
RANCE . . .
RANCE . . .
MUHAMMITZ . . .
MUHAMMITZ . . .
MUHAMMITZ . . .
. . . In a steaming briefcase!
You're Volman!
Yeh-No. No. He's Volman. Who are you?
You must call me "Rance Muhammitz."
"Rance Muhammitz"? Stupidest name I ever heard of.
Yah, but you must remember that within the conceptual framework of this filmic event, nothing really matters! It is
entirely possible for several subjective realities to coexist. It is possible that all things are a deception of the senses.
Right on, Rance! The functioning of our senses has been spiritually impaired and chemically corrupted by the fake,
artifical food coloring.
By the way. Mr. Volman, I have . . . YOUR CHEESEBURGER.
We must evolve.
Yeah . . .
We must progress.
Progress . . .
There must be growth!
Yeah . . . macrobiotic foods and tie-dye shirts!
Hey, ya ain't gonna eat that cheeseburger, Mark? . . . (BURP)
F***ing guy will eat anything.
This is registered delivery, you will have to sign for it.
Sure man, I'll sign. Where's the pencil?
I don't wish to alarm you, my son, but the
signature will have to be . . . in blood.
Listen man, I just wanna know two things. Is there any beer in this fake nightclub, and when do we get paid?
Just-just a minute, just a minute, in a moment or two you'll be able to get your hands on all the imaginary beer that
you want. For the moment, I would like to explain
some of the things that you'll all be doing in this movie.
I've been wondering about that.
For Sherwood, we have a vacuum cleaner scheduled . . .
A vacuum cleaner?
. . . and a potential epileptic seizure during
a production number later on.
A vacuum cleaner!
I thought the two of you would like to get acquainted.
It says here that you are supposed to be in love.
This abnormal relationship will be great for the
Listen man, I just wanna know one thing:
when do we get paid?
No look, look, look, look, look, don't you
even care what you do?
So long as I get some beer and I get paid, you
can make me do anything, I'm professional!
You should be careful talkin' about that stuff.
Why, does he listen?
He always listens. He always watches and listens to all the guys in the band. I've been in the band for years, and I
know. He always listens.
That's how he gets all his material! It isn't s'posed to be natural, friendly, good-natured, humorous, ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, YEAH, WELL FINE!
. . . and then he rips it off, and he sneaks off into a secret room someplace, and boils it in ammonia, and he gets it
perverted, and THEN he brings it back to us at
rehearsal and makes us play it!
Hey man, what's that over there?
It's HIM. You can see him, he's watching.
I've been in the band for years. You can
bet that he heard everything.
Yeah, let's go over and pretend to be nice to him.
Yeah, let's go over and pretent we don't know he's watching.
Yeah, and rippin' off all our good material.
Hi, man!
Hi, Frank!
Hi, man!
Hi, Frank!
Hi, man!
Hey, Frank!
Hey, that's a GREAT new song you wrote, you know, the one about the penis and everything? I was laughin' a lot
0 fans
Submitted on August 05, 2018
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"200 Motels" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/200_motels_1620>.
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