3000 Miles to Graceland

Nice car.

Sweet!

Nice.

You little maggot!

- You get back here!

- What are you doing?

This your kid?

Take a look at his hand.

You'll find the valve caps to my '59 Caddy.

Is that true, Jesse?

How many times have I told you

to stop stealing parts off people's cars!

Go on inside. Go!

I'm really sorry about this.

You know how kids can be.

That's all right. No harm done.

Where are you from?

I've never seen you before.

Just sort of passing through.

I remember saying that very same thing.

That was about four years ago.

You from L.A.?

No, ma'am. Jersey City, mostly.

What's with this "ma'am" stuff?

Am I looking that old already?

No, ma'am.

- There you go again.

- I'm just playing around.

I'm Cybil Waingrow.

Very nice name.

That's Cybil with a "C,"

not Sybil with an "S."

Really?

It's a pleasure to meet you, Cybil,

with or without a "C."

It's nice to meet you. You drink coffee?

That's a start.

You got any money?

Wow! Jersey's, like,

Mom, can I have a Coke or something?

Can't you see I'm talking?

Mom, why can't...

Sweetie, I didn't bring my purse with me.

Hey, hang on a second.

Here.

Go get yourself whatever you want.

Wow, $5. Thanks, mister.

- Hey, Dorth.

- Yeah, Jesse?

You like kids?

I'm not much the fathering type,

to tell you the truth.

Austin, my ex, named him after

Jesse James, the bank robber.

- Hell of a role model.

- That's what I said.

I have $5.

Where is Daddy now?

I don't know.

It's hard to keep track when you

write them and they don't write you back.

Who cares, anyhow?

Not me.

Wow! You must think

I'm some cheap date.

No, sir. I don't know how

you city folks work.

But here, it takes a lot more than

a cup of coffee and a plate of chow...

...to get a sophisticated woman like me

into the sack.

That's for damn sure.

You do make that cigarette look good.

- You make that dress look good.

- You're so sweet.

Do I owe you anything? You know, like...

I didn't mean to offend, I just...

I haven't been with a woman

in a really long time, okay?

- Right.

- I'm serious.

Like five-and-a-half-year serious,

you know what I mean?

Oh, my God!

You just got out!

I'm sorry.

Well, I guess we're even.

Wait a minute.

Michael, you don't offer a woman money

if it's been nice.

You give her flowers or chocolate

or something.

You know what I mean?

Hey, Murph!

This must be our singer.

Yeah, because we know you can't sing.

Yeah, but I play a mean guitar.

Mike.

Hey, man. You're looking...

- Yeah!

- You look good.

- You feel good?

- Yeah.

- Enjoying your freedom?

- Ain't free yet.

Come on, it's a whole lot better

than that cage we shared.

Big sky, lots of space.

Not enough water.

"Not enough water."

It'll always be something with you, Mike.

Well, you know me.

Who's the kid?

I don't know.

Looks like he knows you.

Just because that kid is packing heat,

doesn't make him my partner.

That's right.

I'm your partner.

Ready to play?

Always ready to play, Murph.

What's up, Michael?

These your new girlfriends?

What's happening, man?

Franklin.

Get in the back.

- Move over, Gus.

- I got window.

Great, so I get b*tch. That's nice.

What's up?

- Hey, kid.

- Yeah.

You ever shoot anybody with them things?

Didn't think so.

Hey, Murphy.

What's the smartest thing

ever come out of a b*tch's mouth?

- What?

- Einstein's cock!

That's a good one.

What are you so quiet about?

I told you, I hate the desert.

Yeah, I know, for the second time now.

Check it out!

Deathmatch 3000.

In the red corner, Frank Sinatra.

And in the blue corner, Elvis Presley.

I'm not talking about no cartoon sh*t.

The real deal!

Real cats scrapping it out!

Who's going down?

The Chairman of the Board and

the King are looking mighty mean tonight.

I'll tell you, the King lands one

right in the Chairman's nuts!

- Hot tamale!

- There it is, baby.

But the King slips!

He goes down and Ol' Blue Eyes goes in

for the Italian Necktie!

The King is down!

The King is down! No!

F***, man! Let me know

when you're going to do that.

Who said "the King is down"?

- Let it go.

- Did I say something to you?

Then shut the f*** up.

Who said "the King is down"?

- We were just having a little fun.

- I know.

So, who said it?

I said it, Murphy.

Don't say it any f***ing more.

- It was just a joke.

- Well, it wasn't f***ing funny.

Sinatra.

F*** Sinatra. Nobody fucks with the King

and nobody ever says he's down.

Hey, Murphy, we all love the King.

That's right.

Elvis would beat Sinatra's ass!

That's f***ing right.

What's the best thing

about dating homeless girls?

You can drop them off anywhere.

Let me out!

Damn, my ass is all sweaty.

Murph.

Good to see you, Jack.

Really good to see you.

- Michael.

- Jack, how are you doing?

How does it feel to be out?

- You know how it feels.

- Yes, I do.

- You got them?

- Inside.

Hey, Franklin.

Stop. You're killing me, man.

You're killing me.

Pretty loose group you got there.

- Don't shoot me!

- Dance, motherf***er!

- They dialed in?

- They're good on stage.

It's going to be some show!

The snakeskin is mine.

- I got that one.

- That's mine.

Hey, Michael.

It's good to see you.

- You want to come in?

- No, I can't.

Really, I just wanted to ask you...

Well, maybe for a second or two.

You haven't seen my wallet,

by any chance?

Your wallet?

I had it yesterday when I paid the check

at the coffee shop.

I was just backtracking my steps.

Well, I haven't seen it.

Jesse, get back here!

Did you take this man's wallet?

Don't shut that door on me!

Don't lock it.

He does this all the time. Sorry.

Would you hand me that little stepladder

over there, please?

Thank you.

He's like a ferret. Takes anything

he can get his hands on and hides it all...

...up...

...here.

Sorry about this.

There was...

Money?

$460, yeah.

Is this it?

Just about.

Sorry for all the trouble.

He really isn't a bad kid.

I'm sure he's an angel.

Wait a minute.

- I can get your money back.

- It's okay. It's just...

...$20.

How about...

...I'll pay it back to you

with another cup of coffee?

Time to go to work, baby.

Let's do it.

Here we are

at the Riviera Hotel and Casino...

...and it's International Elvis Week.

I don't know what the big deal is.

That porker has been dead

for 20 years now.

He was a god.

And second, he ain't dead.

We've gone from Rat Pack to Fat Pack.

Murphy.

Long time no see.

Back off.

Watch yourself, son.

That's no way to treat your friends.

I never met you in my life.

Be smart and take a f***ing walk.

Hey, man, now come on, don't be cruel.

Would you?

Thank you.

Honey, doesn't he look marvelous?

We think you look just marvelous!

Thank you, ma'am.

Thank you very much.

Sorry.

What's the problem?

Emergency stop on nine.

Probably some couple screwing again.

Do we have visual?

No. Sir, the camera in car eight is down.

Switch to override. Bring it down for

a security check. Have security waiting.

All right, everybody stay cool.

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