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A Child's Christmases in Wales Page #4
- Year:
- 2009
- 59 min
- 106 Views
Last time,
it saw me through till February.
We'll keep the Christmas pudding
until after The Queen's Speech.
- Good idea.
- Have you got a colour TV yet?
No, Geraint still isn't convinced.
Ours has got two million colours.
- Which ones?
- Red, yellow, all the greats.
- Two is enough for me.
- Brings things to life, though, you know.
Do you know that Lenny Henry
is a black fella?
I tell you what programme I like,
the EastEnders.
What's that about?
It's about a group of people living in
London having all these problems.
- Oh, I'll look out for that.
- You haven't got a television, have you?
I've got a little trick up my sleeve, Huw.
What I do, I go down the TV shop
and I watch it through the window.
- You get to see it 20 times that way!
- But you can't hear what they say.
Oh, you get the gist of it.
I saw most of the World Cup like that
and Last Night Of The Prams.
You can hardly watch Last Night
Of The Proms without hearing the sound.
Actually,
Right, listen up,
this is simple.
If you get more than half the balls,
you've won. Now,
our side of the family
is all about winning.
This year,
I carpeted Shirley Bassey's bathroom
whilst your mother is now a dinner lady.
We're winners. Go on.
Right, fingers on hippos.
Ready?
Go!
Keep hitting the lever.
Keep hitting the lever.
Keep hitting the lever.
Keep hitting the lever.
Keep hitting the lever.
- Keep hitting the lever.
- Madhouse, this is.
Keep hitting the lever!
Keep hitting the lever!
Keep hitting the lever!
Keep hitting the lever!
Keep hitting the lever! Stop!
- Stop! Stop! OK.
- Let's count 'em up.
I don't know if it was enough.
Let's just hope there was enough.
It's all right. It was good.
Owen's hippo has ten balls.
Maurice's hippo has nine balls.
Well done, Owen.
Well, it's not about winning, is it?
There's meant to be 20 balls there.
Cracking game, that, lads.
Right, who wants to play find my socks?
There's meant to be 20 balls.
There's obviously one ball missing.
Now, who wants a bit
of Christmas pudding?
No, no, never mind
"who wants a bit of Christmas pudding"!
Where's the 20th ball?
It invalidates the result of the game.
Never mind.
- Huw, leave it!
There's meant to be 20 balls.
If there's only 19 it turns
Hungry Hippos into a complete farce!
- We can just call it a draw.
- We could, could we?!
A safe little draw. Is that what you want?
Is it? A nice safe little draw
and then we put our petticoats on...
I'll give him petticoats in a minute
No, no, sorry, what we're going to do
is we're going to have a rematch.
- I don't think we should.
- Oh, no, I bet you don't.
it was a safe draw
and go over there and play with
My Little Ponies or something.
Actually, Huw...
Owen won.
He's offering you a draw out of charity.
- Charity, eh, pal?!
- Mmm.
Well, I tell you what,
at least I don't get my clothes
from a charity shop, eh?
- Oh, do something, Geraint.
- Oh, I think it's just a bit of fun.
I might not have a lot of money, right,
but what I do have I didn't get
by screwing up my marriage
and then screwing over my wife
in court. No offense, Maurice!
At least I earn my money
by providing carpets,
rather than getting sacked
from a meat processing plant
for stealing sheep
and selling them second-hand.
One! I stole one sheep.
At least I've got a nice big house,
big enough for a television and a toilet.
At least I learned how to use a toilet,
Huw,
rather than wetting the bed
until I was 15!
13!
- I was 13.
- Oh, yes, this is just a bit of fun
Right! You and I are going to settle this
once and for all, Gorwel!
Let's have it!
Gorwel, take a hippo.
Uncle Huw, I don't think...
Shut it!
I said...
...take a hippo.
We go...
on three.
One...
- two...
- Ha, ha, ha-ha!
The pudding! Oh...!
- Fire! That's a fire!
- Geraint, get some water.
Fire. It's on fire.
- Don't just stand there!
- Wrap yourselves in a carpet.
I set a mate of mine on fire once
and they wrapped him in a carpet.
- We're not on fire.
- We will be in a minute.
Everyone stand back!
Oh!
A glass of water is no good, Geraint!
Everyone stay where you are!
Geraint, you're useless, away!
- Somebody call 999!
- Has anyone got 10p for the phone?
Oh, my God,
the bloody tree's on fire!
- Anyone got change of a pound?
- We're done for.
- I just need change.
- Oh, my God. For Pete's sake!
I'm dead. We're dead.
- Where's Mum gone?
- I love you, Maurice, my dead son!
- Stand back!
- Brenda!
Go for it, woman.
Oh, my God, Bren, you saved our life.
Good work, Bren.
Aargh!
The fire was already out, Gorwel.
Better safe than sorry, Bren.
Not now, Geraint.
Trivial Pursuit?
Easy, careful you don't knock it.
All right. OK.
Just six degrees more.
Six, mind. Don't go mad.
Glory to...
Christmas 1989,
the '80s were coming to an end,
a terrible recession
was just around the corner.
It was a time of revolution,
the Berlin Wall had just came dawn -
it inspired many people
to dream of change.
It inspired Dad to take down
the fence in the garden.
We 'n' gut a video player
and even a telephone.
- At the third stroke it will be $.13...
- ...precisely.
But we were only allowed
to use it for emergencies.
And we had to make sure
all emergencies happened after 6pm.
Who's been using this phone?
Essential calls only, please.
I might as well
Mum was still cleaning like a maniac
or, as she called it,
"maintaining standards".
It's funny what you think is normal
when you are young.
It wasn't till my first week
at university that I realised
I was the only person
who brought his own tea towels.
Oh...
What you watching?
Ben-Hur.
Hmm. What happened?
Ben-Hur was a Jewish prince who was sold
into slavery, endured many hardships
and great suffering
before returning to take revenge
in one of the most expensive
closing scenes ever made.
All in Technicolor.
Any good?
Didn't think much of it, to be honest.
No, we didn't think much of it.
Long.
One day it'll be me sitting around
with my feet up
watching people
being sold into slavery
Well, I never.
The cheek of it.
Your brothers are five minutes early.
What do they think we are,
a drive-in cinema?!
Come on, you two.
Chop-chop. Look lively.
spending time with Tom Jones,
a man who's had the hits he's had and
the underwear he's had thrown at him,
is that underneath it all,
he's just a man.
A man with a pair of trousers on.
Like you or me.
Does something smell funny in here?
At one point we were on his veranda
and he turned to me, Tom Jones,
and do you know what he said?
"Pass us those biscuits."
That's right. Eats biscuits.
Just like you or I eat biscuits.
Can someone smell
something sort of...?
And that's what you notice
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