A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court Page #3

Nay. Nay.

'Tis a foolish thought.

A greater sorcerer than Merlin?

None such exists.

He's the champion, huh?

I have grown

to like thee, monster.

'Tis sad to part.

'Tis sad.

Farewell.

[Door Closes ]

[ Sighs ]

Within the hour.

Well, now, if it's

a miracle they're after--

[ Humming ]

Meet the new champion.

[Orchestra ]

No, no, no, no.

All these folderols

simply to burn a man.

Verily it grows monotonous.

Aye.

But the Romans had

a more amusing procedure.

They boiled their victims

in oil.

Boiled them in oil?

[ Chuckles ]

Splendid.

Hast not seen a lobster boil,

Your Majesty?

Truly, Morgan,

thou art brilliant.

All right,

all right, all right.

Let's get started.

Thou knowest

this early morning air

bringeth on my vapors.

The king speaketh.

Bring on the beast.

Bring on the beast!

Bring on the beast!

Must we have

these eternal echoes?

Bring on the beast!

[Fanfare ]

Now, that's strange.

The creature seemeth

in splendid spirits.

'Twill avail him naught.

Fire and flame will destroy him

and all his demon magic.

Milord,

does he have to die?

Of course he has to die.

You certainly don't

expect me to disappoint

all these people, do you?

Thou art to be commended,

Sir Sagramore, for thy part

in these festivities.

Nay.

My heart weigheth heavily.

Hear ye

the proclamation of death!

Monster, thou hast by trial,

both just and fair,

been found guilty

of the following crimes.

First, of assuming

through demon wizardry...

the form of

a man-devouring ogre,

Stay away, clouds.

of a fire-breathing dragon,

Good old sun.

and of tusked

and taloned werewolf,

Second,

of conspiring with Beelzebub

and the powers of evil...

to bring calamity

upon this kingdom,

Therefore, monster,

by order

of His Sovereign Majesty

King Arthur of Britain,

thou art hereby condemned

to perish,,,

by the flame and--

[ Screaming, Shouting]

Merlin, he's bewitched!

Have no fear, my liege.

I shall cast a spell

upon this demon.

- I fear thee not, monster.

- Boo.

I, Merlin,

sorcerer to the king,

do hereby render helpless

the evil demon

within this monster...

and route forevermore,,,

his magic wizardry,

and I command the gods...

to wither his tongue,

to still his limbs, to--

Psst, psst.

Smiley, you're burning up

a little there.

Thou art the devil himself!.

is there no end to his sorcery?

Do you give up?

Aha.

Just as I thought!

Hey--

No forces of evil did cause

this mischief, my liege.

'Twas but this bauble,

this toy,

which any child can worketh.

Start workething, bub.

I command thee,

maketh fire and flame!

Any news?

Maketh fire and flame!

[ Laughter]

No talent, huh?

[ Laughter Continues ]

A few words, Your Majesty.

I am a wizard,

I'm a whiz of a wizard,

Matter of fact,

just about the best

in the business.

And if you don't mind

my saying so,

it's a pretty good thing for you

Im not quick-tempered.

[ Scoffs ]

Slim, release me here.

Come on, quickly.

I might lose my temper here

and burn up a lot

of good acreage.

Now, watch closely

and Ill show you what I mean.

I have here, Your Majesty,

a common, ordinary twig.

Presto!

[ Gasping, Murmuring ]

You could imagine what

I could do with a tree.

For my next miracle,

ladies and gentlemen--

Desist! Desist, monster!

I prithee!

And now, Your Majesty,

hang onto your crown be--

because, uh, Im about to--

No more, monster!

I beseech thee!

Spare my kingdom!

Name thy terms,

and I will grant them.

Well, I would like

to stick around here

a little while, maybe.

Half my domains are thine.

Oh, no. Just--

Just a little--

little blacksmith shop

would be all right.

A smithy. Granted.

And if you could arrange it,

Id like to associate...

with these lords and ladies

in a little more

sociable atmosphere.

A ball, as soon as 'tis possible

to accoutre thee properly.

This fellow that captured me--

what about him?

The dog shall die.

Aye!

Burn Sir Sagramore!

Aye! Burn Sir Sagramore!

[ Shouts Of Approval ]

Burn Sir Sagramore!

Burn Sir Sagramore!

[ Chuckles ]

in oil, huh?

[Hank] Oh, no,

No. Wait a minute.

I like him.

Hmm. Why, he shall be

thy squire.

[Hank]

I wouldn't be without a squire,

And one really important thing,

As long as I seem to be

the boss around here,

don't you think I ought to have

a title to go with it?

Approach and be knighted.

[Fanfare ]

Here.

Practice with this a while.

On thy knees, sire.

I dub thee--

I dub thee Sir Boss!

[ All ]

Hail to Sir Boss!

Hail to the Boss!

Hail, Sir Boss.

Methinks I liketh Camelot...

a lot.

Zounds, but thou hast

a handsome figure!

Now, take it easy, Saggy.

I know youre grateful,

but don't overdo it.

The ball awaits thee.

This way, milord.

Hope some man

doesn't ask me to dance.

[ Orchestra ]

For thee, sire.

Well, how about introducing me

to the cast of characters?

Pardon, sire?

I wouldst know whom

I meeteth this night.

The king, for instance.

What's he like?

A prince among men,

And, uh, Merlin?

A devil, who by cunning

and trickery...

has come to rule the kingdom.

A villain, huh?

Who's the dark-haired lady

with him there?

Morgan le Fay,

the king's niece.

if aught should happen

to the king, Merlin would

see to it that she is queen.

Well, aught better

not happen then, huh?

Who?

Another of the king's nieces,

Milady Alisande la Carteloise.

is she married

or anything?

She is the betrothed

of Sir Lancelot of the Lake,

who is away on a mission

of knight errantry, sire.

Traveling man, huh?

Shall we mingle then?

Stop the music!

Stop the music!

Stop the music!

[ Fanfare ]

[ Orchestra Stops ]

The music stoppeth, sire.

[ Sneezes ]

Well, you got a mighty

nice turnout for the clambake.

Im much obliged.

it's a pleasure,

I assure thee.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Sir Boss!

The man is dangerous.

And we also

if we but smile.

Dance with him.

Uh, Sir Galahad.

Oh.

Howdy.

Killed any dragons lately?

Scout's honor?

Pardon, my liege.

Ah, yes.

My niece, Morgan le Fay,

princess of the Royal House.

Welcome to Camelot, milord.

A merry tune, is it not?

Oh, yes.

I can hardly keep

my feet still.

Thou mayest think me bold,

but wouldst dance with me?

Why, certainly.

Id love to.

Anytime.

I, uh--

I beg your pardon.

I don't want to seem

aggressive or anything,

but I did want to--

My dear Alisande,

hast heard my

latest exploit?

Never in all--

Say, just a minute, buster.

This is our dance.

By all means, yes.

Hast thou an affliction

in thine eye, sire?

Im afraid it's in my heart.

But that twitching

of the lid.

I understand thee not.

That's a wink, honey.

A wink?

Where I come from,

it's a token of affection.

Maybe we better dance, huh?

Come along with me a minute.

I want to straighten

these fellows out.

Will you excuse me?

This won't take a minute.

You don't seem to be very busy.

Would you try something for me?

Listen closely.

[ Whistling Melody]

Try it.

[ Playing Melody]

Fine. I have something

for you too.

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