A Kid in King Arthur's Court

1

I Am Merlin, And I Am Back,

Awakened From

My Eternal Slumber

To Reach Out Across Time...

For A Brave Warrior Who Can

Take Up The Sword Excalibur...

And Save Camelot.

Oh, Great Spirit Of Light,

Bring Me That Knight.

- [ Thunderclap ]

- [ Umpire ] Strike. Out.

You're Up, Fuller.

-Ventilate Him, Calvin.

-Try Swingin' This Time, Fuller.

[ Spectators Clapping,

Chattering ]

[ Girl ] Whoo-Ooo !

[ Man ] Come On, Cal !

- It's Only A Game, Son.

Just Give It Your Best Shot.

- Good Luck, Honey.

- We're All Rootin' For Ya.

- I Get Your Room

If You Get Killed.

- If I Die, You Can

Take Out The Trash.

- Mmm !

Fuller. Now Look, Just

Remember What I Told You.

Three Things:

Ya Lean In.

Ya Cover The Plate.

Ya Pick A Point In The Outfield.

Then Ya Let Her Rip.

Actually, That's

Four Things.

Just Try And Hit The Ball,

Will Ya, Fuller ?

[ Man ]

Come On. Play Ball.

Come On, Cal !

[ Cal ]

Three Things:

Lean In.

Cover The Plate. Pick

A Point In The Outfield.

- Let Her Rip.

- You're Dead Meat, Fuller.

- [ Crowd Yelling ]

- [ Cal ] Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

- [ Umpire ] Strike One.

- [ Coach Groaning ]

Ohh !

- Strike Two.

- Keep Your Eye

On The Ball, Cal !

Hasta La Vista, Fuller.

Now Swing !

- Strike Three. You're Out.

- [ Crowd Groaning ]

It's All Right, Son.

- [ Spectators Shouting ]

- Mom, He Didn't Even Try !

Fuller.

Get Me My Bat.

As You Wish,

Your Highness.

[ Low Rumbling ]

[ Rumbling Intensifies,

Woman Screams ]

Earthquake ! Everybody,

Out Of The Dugout.

Come On ! Come On !

[ Rumbling Continues ]

The Black Knight

Has Stolen The Royal

Money Box. Stop Him !

[ King ]

Hurry !

[ Horse Whinnying ]

[ Screaming ]

Aaah !

[ King's Guards Shouting ]

[ Cal Gasping ]

- [ Guard ]

Forward ! Together !

- [ Cal ] Here !

Whoa !

Hold, Boy !

[ Driver ]

Whoa Up. Whoa Up.

Ah.

Sire.

Find The Brave Man Who

Foiled The Black Knight.

I Want To Thank Him

Personally.

Please.

- Thank Thee, Lord Belasco.

- My Pleasure, Your Highness.

Spread Out !

Find The Boy.

Where Am I ?

Ride On !

[ Cal ]

Excuse Me.

[ Bleating ]

Oh !

Clumsy Mutton.

Sorry.

[ Guard ]

That-A-Way.

[ Guards Shouting ]

- Where Did He Go ?

- That Way, Sire.

He Went That Way.

This Way !

[ Gasps ]

Whoa.

[ Cal Grunting,

Chicken Clucking ]

[ Dog Barking ]

There's Nothing

Left To Steal

In All Of Camelot !

The King Does Not Steal.

He Merely Takes His Fair Share.

In Other Words,

Everything.

- [ Commoner Groaning ]

- I Have No Time For This !

I Am Looking For A Boy.

Do Not Fight Him.

The King Is No Longer

A Man Of The People.

- You Speak Treason ?

- [ Cal Gasps ]

Ah, The Little Mouse.

- [ Cal Yelling ]

- [ Guard ] Get Him !

Oh, Boy.

[ Gasps ]

Don't Kill Me !

I Didn't Mean To Do It.

I Don't Even Know

What I'm Doing Here.

Take Him To Camelot.

Let Me Go !

The King

Awaits His Presence.

King ?

[ Townspeople Chattering ]

Hey, Guys, Where's The Boys'

Room ? I've Been Holding It

Since The Third Inning.

Where We Going ?

Hey, Don't I Get

A Phone Call Or Something ?

Ho !

Ho !

Ho !

[ Man ]

Look Here !

Ah ! 'Tis The Brave Man Who

Frightened Off The Black Knight.

Bring Him Closer.

Not A Man, Father.

Just A Boy.

He Has A Very Pleasant Face.

Don't Be Ridiculous, Sister.

He Dresses Like A Fool.

[ All Laughing ]

Did You Find The Boy ?

Of Course.

Then Bring Him To Me.

Ah, He Was Taken To

The Great Hall, Milord.

The King.

You Take Your Orders From Me,

Not That Stupid Old Fool.

Look, I Have Arthur

Exactly Where I Want Him.

The Black Knight's Working

His Magic Wonderfully.

We Do Not Need Interlopers

Like This Little Boy

Spoiling It.

Now You Are

My High Chamberlain.

Deal With It !

Dost Thou Know

Who I Am, Lad ?

Um, The King ?

That's Right, Lad.

I Am King Arthur.

Cool.

Cool ? Ah.

[ Snaps Fingers ]

[ All Laughing ]

Ah !

[ Laughter Continues ]

Your Highness.

[ Stubs Toe ]

Oh !

It's Obvious This Boy

Is In League With

The Black Knight.

[ Cal ]

Who Me ? No !

No, I'm Not !

He's Nothing But

A Common Spy And

A Little Thief !

I Don't Know How I Got Here,

Your Honor, But I'm Not

A Spy-- Or A Thief.

Thou Has Been Challenged, Lad.

Step Up And

Prove Thyself Worthy.

Of Course, The, Uh, The Boy

May Be Allowed To Choose

The Mode Of Combat, Hmm ?

Combat ?

Can We Talk About

This For A Minute ?

Oh, Wake Up.

This Isn't

A Dream.

Quite Right.

It's Your Worst Nightmare

Come True.

Choose.

[ Muttering ]

Mode Of Combat.

I Gotta Choose A Weapon.

Oh, My God.

I Gotta Choose.

I Gotta Choose.

I Choose Combat Rock.

- Huh ?

- [ Guests Murmuring ]

- Here Goes.

- [ Rock Blaring ]

[ Music Stops ]

[ Man Exclaiming ]

- 'Tis A Miracle.

- In Full-Blown

Digital Stereo.

I Never Heard

Such A Clamor

In All My Days.

That Was No Clamor.

That Was Rock And Roll.

Come. Sit Here, Lad.

Now Tell Me:

What Do They Call Thee, Boy,

And From Whence Doth Thou Hail ?

Uh, Calvin Fuller, Sir.

From Reseda.

Oh !

[ Chuckling ]

Knights And Ladies,

I Give Thee...

Calvin Fuller Of Reseda !

Calvin Fuller

Of Reseda !

Calvin Fuller

Of Reseda !

Well, Now, Let Us Eat.

[ Guests Chattering ]

Oh. Looks Real Good.

-What Is It ?

-Braised Boar's Snout With

Haggis. Come On. Eat Up, Boy.

I Heard What Transpired

Between Thee And

The Black Knight.

Who Is This

Black Knight Guy Anyway ?

A Scoundrel !

His Mission

Is To Bring Down

My Father's Kingdom.

Eat. It Loses Its Bouquet

When It Is Taken Cold.

[ Whimpering, Panting ]

[ Arthur ]

Hmm, He's Got A Good Cut.

Say, Where's Merlin ?

When Does He Show Up ?

Sadly, Merlin Passed Away

Many Years Ago.

Your Highness ?

[ Garbled ]

Yes, Lad ?

I Don't Mean

To Butt In Here, But

Where's The Round Table ?

- Round Table ?

- You Know, Where You And Your

Knights Have Your Meetings.

It's Round So You Gotta

Look Everybody In The Eye. No

Favorites. Everybody's Equal.

Everybody's Equal ?

[ Laughing ]

Fascinating Idea.

- Where Did You Say

You Were From ?

- Uh, Reseda.

Reseda.

What An Odd Name.

Hey, It's The Bowling

Capital Of The World.

May I Suggest For Our Honored

Visitor From Reseda...

A Fortnight Of Training

With Master Kane ?

Oh, A Splendid Idea, Daughter.

Tomorrow, My Master At Arms...

Shall Instruct Thee

In The Ways Of

The Knights Of Camelot.

Prepare His Quarters !

Come On !

[ Belches, Slurps ]

Welcome To

Camelot, Sir.

Thanks... I Think.

Okay, Where's The Bathroom ?

Lord Elastic !

Belasco.

Right.

Listen.

[ Whispering ]

What ?

I Don't Hear Anything.

Exactly !

I Could Choke The Life

Right Out Of You Right Now.

No One Would

Hear You Scream.

Hold That Thought.

[ Creaking ]

[ Kiai ]

Hyah !

Oh ! Excuse Me, Good Sir.

Pardon My Intrusion.

My Father Asked That I

Make Sure Thou Art Comfortable

In Thy New Quarters.

You Want Me Comfortable, How

About Getting Me A Road Map

Out Of The Middle Ages ?

If I Don't Get Home,

I'm Grounded.

You Resedians Wear

Very Strange Garments.

Oh ! Excuse Me.

Okay.

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