A Knight's Tale Page #2

Six generations is more than enough.|Show me the patents.

Indicate in which events|shall your Lord Ulrich compete.

He'll first meet Roger Lord Mortimer.

Thank you very much.

I can't believe it.|You did it, Chaucer.

I thank you. I didn't think|we had a chance.

My pleasure, William.

If you don't mind, I'll stick around.

Be my herald, you'll|get part of the winnings.

Done. Now if you don't mind,|I have to see a man about a dog.

Walking out from Cheapside

My fortunes for to seek

I passed along the River Thames

Its waters did they reek

'Twas there I met a pretty lass

She said her name was Nell

Bell or hell rhymes with Nell.

Would you speak to me?

Ah, to speak.

Sir, my sex are marked|by their silence.

I would hear you speak|if it cost me my ears.

That is well, for I do not|want silence in my life.

Tell me your name.

- Would you care if I were ugly?|- Yes!

I mean, no. I mean--

You desecrate the house of God!

Tell me your name.

And what would you do|with my name, Sir Hunter?

Call me a fox, for|that is all I am to you.

Then a fox you shall be until|I find your name, my foxy lady.

He's a handsome hunter.|I give him that.

Does this not shock you, ladies?

Certainly, my lord.

I only laugh just|to keep from weeping.

Beauty is such a curse.

Pray your years come swiftly.

Pray your beauty fades|so you may better serve God.

Oh, I do, my lord. I pray for it all|the time.

Why, God, did you curse me|with this face?

God's will has a purpose,|but we may not know it.

Well, that is lovely.

Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein...

...defeats Roger Lord Mortimer|one lance to none.

Easy. They'll think I|never broke a lance before.

- But you haven't!|- Ulrich's broken thousands of lances.

Come on. You're due|in the sword ring.

My armor's loose.

Shite. I can't block an overhead.

We can't fix it now.|We're overdue in the sword ring.

It was a mistake to do two events.|I'm too hurried.

- I'll withdraw from the sword.|- Sword's what you're best at.

But the prizes and prestige|are bigger in the joust.

Ulrich von Lichtenstein?|I am Simon the Summoner.

I'm overdue at the sword ring.

I must detain you|on behalf of your herald.

You were never robbed.

I have a gambling problem.

I can't help myself.

And these people will...

...literally take the clothes|off your back.

What are we supposed to do?

He assured us that you,|his liege, would pay us.

And who are you?

Peter, a humble pardoner...

...and purveyor of religious relics.

How much does he owe?

Ten gold florins.

You manky git!

- Pain! Pain! Take the pain!|- Get him off me!

Wat, let him go!

What would you do to him|if I was to refuse?

We, on behalf of the Lord God...

...will take it from his flesh|so that he may understand...

...that gambling is a sin.

Oh, come on.

Please, Will.

Please, will you help me,|Sir Ulrich?

I promise you won't regret it.

I don't have the money.

Release him...

...and give him back his clothes.

And you'll get it.

Done.

You lied.

Yes, I lied. I'm a writer.|I give the truth scope!

Behold my Lord|Ulrich von Lichtenstein, son of--

- Too late. He's been announced.|- Fine.

Ten blows by sword.|Sir Ulrich to receive first.

Strike!

Strike!

Stop letting him hit you!

Shut up! Shut up!

Two strikes for Sir Walter Loring!

Sir Ulrich to strike!

- Now it's your turn!|- Come on!

Strike!

I taught him that!|That's me!

Sir Ulrich prevails,|five strikes to two!

Yes!

Behold my Lord Ulrich!|The rock! The hard place!

Blown far from his homeland|in search of glory and honor!

We walk in the garden|of his turbulence!

Yeah!

- You're champion.|- Of the sword.

Isn't that why we're here? Come on.

Do you want to touch him?|Do you want to touch him?

We should've saved our money|for the blacksmith.

I can't pay you now...

- ...but I promise I will, just as--|- No! Money.

- Excuse me.|- Cash first, not promises.

Go on.

Excuse me, sir.

You might try the farris.

A woman?

Beggars cannot be choosers, my lord.

Thank you.

- I can't joust with broken armor.|- That's your problem, not mine.

Just as well. They told me|I was daft to even ask.

- Who?|- The other armorers.

Did they say I couldn't do it|because I'm a woman?

They said you're good|with horseshoes, not armor.

No one mentioned you being a woman.

Cat's meat! Hot wine!

Cat's meat! Hot wine!

Lady, I will win|this tournament for you.

Nay! I will win for you.

May I present Count Adhemar...

...winner of the joust in France|and champion at Saint-Emilion.

All forgotten when standing before the|most beautiful woman in Christendom.

Do you only pretend to fight, Count|Adhemar, or wage real war as well?

I am leader of the free companies.|My army is in southern France.

Geoff, 'tis my lady.

- William, you aim too high.|- I don't know any other way to aim.

- Concentrate.|- What should I say to her?

What do you think of the joust?

It's very abrupt.

And I don't understand the rules.

Then I shall educate you.

A match is three lances.

One point is given for breaking|a lance between the waist and neck.

Two points for breaking on the helmet.|It's difficult.

The helmet sweeps back.|Most blows glance off.

Three points for bearing a rider|to the ground.

Also, if you bear a rider|to the ground, you win his horse.

Do men die in the joust?

Lance points are tipped|with coronals, which blunts them.

Of course, accidents happen.

I myself, Jocelyn,|have never been unhorsed.

Nor have I.

Your name, lady.

I still need to hear it.

Sir Hunter, you persist.

Perhaps angels have no names.|Only beautiful faces.

And you are?

I am, um....

Have you forgotten?

Or your name is Sir "Um."

Ulrich von Lichtenstein|from Gelderland.

I'd forget as well. What a mouthful.

- Your armor, sir.|- What about it?

How stylish of you to wear an antique.|You'll start a new fashion if you win.

My grandfather will be able|to wear his in public again.

And a shield. How quaint.

Some of these poor country knights,|little better than peasants.

- -the second son...

...of Sir Wallace Percival,|third Earl of Warwick.

My lords, my ladies...

...it is with honor|I introduce my liege...

...Sir Thomas Colville.

You're good.

You're very good.

My lords...

...my ladies...

...and everybody else here|not sitting on a cushion...

...today...

...you find yourselves equals.

For you are all equally blessed.

For I have the pride...

...the privilege, nay, the pleasure...

...of introducing to you|a knight sired by knights.

A knight who can trace|his lineage back...

...beyond Charlemagne.

I first met him...

...atop a mountain near Jerusalem...

...praying to God...

...asking his forgiveness|for the Saracen blood...

...spilt by his sword.

Next, he amazed me|still further in Italy...

...when he saved a fatherless|beauty...

...from the would-be ravishings|of her dreadful uncle.

In Greece...

...he spent a year in silence...

...just to better understand|the sound...

...of a whisper.

So without further gilding the lily|and with no more ado...

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