A Merry Friggin' Christmas Page #7

Synopsis: Boyd Mitchler and his family must spend Christmas with his estranged family of misfits. Upon realizing that he left all his son's gifts at home, he hits the road with his dad in an attempt to make the 8-hour round trip before sunrise.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Tristram Shapeero
Production: Phase 4 Films
 
IMDB:
5.1
Metacritic:
28
Rotten Tomatoes:
16%
PG-13
Year:
2014
88 min
Website
447 Views


See, I told you Santa's real!

Now we can find our stuff.

Pull up there, there!

What do you think you got, Bug?

I don't think I got anything.

- We can't thank you enough.

- Merry Christmas, it's been a flight!

- Where you goin', they're up?

- Yeah. He's up.

- All the kids have their presents.

- So what,

- go on in there and give him the thing!

- He'll know there's no Santa, Dad!

Maybe Santa took your presents

to the wrong house, or...

No. There is no Santa.

Look. Puba said he loved bourbon.

Merry Christmas.

Good luck.

No Douglas, don't!

- You must be Douglas.

- Are you Santa?

Oh, yes indeed. Yes, I am.

Why'd you drink all that bourbon,

Santa? Won't it make you drunk?

Well, Douglas,

bourbon gives Santa the energy

that he needs to keep

his appointed rounds.

And asparagus. Puba told me that.

Yep, asparagus, too. Smart fella.

Oh my goodness, I almost

forgot your present.

- Merry Christmas, Douglas.

- Thank you, Santa.

I believe.

And I hope you always do.

Santa, don't you want your asparagus?

That's okay, Douglas, you keep it.

Asparagus makes my urine smell funny.

Merry Christmas.

I think it was a big success.

On second thought this may

have not been such a hot idea.

No matter how this pans out,

you tried your best.

Bottom line, you're one

hell of a good dad, Boyd.

Thanks, Dad.

Merry Christmas, Bug.

Dad, why did your

massage take so long?

Let me help you.

Nice wrap job there. What is it?

- What is it?

- I built it, the whole thing.

I even sanded the runners myself.

It's really something.

Really something.

It's pretty cool?

Neat, but no snow.

Let's see what else there is.

Hey Bug! Look, I found this outside

for you. Santa must have dropped it.

Bridge for children! I've always

wanted to learn how to play bridge!

Woo-hoo, alright!

Neato, look at what I got!

- I'm sorry.

- I'm drunk.

I remain sorry.

But I accept your apology.

Oh for cripe's sake, Boyd, get a Goddamn

room if you're gonna be doing that.

Dave's the designated

pervert in this family.

He's not a pervert!

- Hey, hey!

- Rancer!

- You think I would have known better.

- Oh, I suppose.

But if we always learned

from our mistakes,

nobody'd ever spend

Christmas with their family.

What the hell good is getting a sled

in this day and age of global warming?

- You should have got the kid a boat.

- Shut up, Dad.

Dad, can we go inside and

play some bridge now?

Look Dad, it's snowing!

- You're right, Bug.

- It's probably ash.

More, more, more, more.

Can't you hear it?

More, more, more, more.

Love comes through.

Give me happiness.

You're like the sun.

You're my holiday, my favourite one.

More than I wished for.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

More than I wished for.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Ring, ring Ring, ring.

I hear the birds.

Sing, sing Sing, sing.

Sweet Noel.

Peace for everyone,

be all good cheer.

A merry, wonderful time of year.

More than I wished for.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

More than I wished for.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

You're my angel and the sun

You are my mistletoe.

You're my star that's shining bright

You are my Silent Night.

You're the sweetest little thing

You are out of a dream.

You're my sugar and my spice.

You're the naughty to my nice.

You are the one

You're more than I wish for.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

More than I wished for.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

Bum, bum, bum-bum-bum-bum.

More than I wished for.

Bu-doo-bum, boom boom.

Joy to the world, the Lord has come.

And he's drivin' a

big green bass boat.

Circling around your castle's moat.

He's the new favourite

late night talk-show host.

That's why we try to love.

Now that you're here,

come gather round.

Check out these

treasures that I found.

One makes a flash,

the other makes a sound.

But none will catch you

from crashing down.

That's why we try.

To love.

Life just kicks you, 1-2-3.

Keeps us guessing him or me.

There's always more to see,

always more want.

That's why we try to love.

That's why we try to love.

The weather outside is frightful.

And the fire is so inviting.

The sound of sleigh bells ringing.

Is all the more delightful.

The sight of snow falling

lightly on her cheek.

The things around this

little town aren't so bleak.

And the lights are up on the door.

They say it's Christmas time.

And I felt this once before.

And I can't get it out of my mind.

We can go out walking till

the snow starts to gleam.

Do you remember the stories

I told you? Or was it all a dream?

I still can't believe that

you are with me once again.

My dear.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly.

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Tis the season to be jolly.

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Don we now our gay apparel.

Fa la la, la la la, la la la.

Troll the ancient Yuletide carol.

Fa la la la la.

La la la...

La... La!

Ah...

That's what you gotta commit to a song.

That's why we don't get first place.

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Phil Johnston

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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