A Midsummer's Fantasia Page #2

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FIRST CHAIR.

I'M IN BAND, TOO.

I PLAY THE BASSOON.

HMM. WELL,

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

I'LL SEE YOU,

UH, BASSOON.

SEE YOU BASSOON?

ECCH! STUPID!

MAX KEEBLE.

TROY!

TROY McGINTY,

HOW ARE YA?

FIRST VICTIM:

OF THE YEAR THERE, BUDDY.

IT'S A BIG HONOR.

Max:

YOU KNOW THE GUY

YOU USED TO HANG OUT WITH

WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE,

BUT AS YOU GOT OLDER YOU WEN IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS?

WELL, TROY McGINTY

WASN'T ALWAYS A BULLY.

I REMEMBER WHEN HE CAME

TO MY FOURTH BIRTHDAY.

THE THEME WAS:

MacGOOGLES THE FROG.

MacGoogles the Frog:

MacGOOGLES IS ME NAME

I LIKE A SWAMPY BOG

IT'S TIME

TO PLAY A GAME:

WITH YOUR FAVORITE

HIGHLAND FROG:

I DON'T LIKE

MacGOOGLE!

HE'S NOT REAL, TROY.

HE'S JUS A TV CHARACTER.

IS THERE:

A WEE LITTLE LADDIE

HAVIN' HIS BIRTHDAY TODAY?

MacGOOGLE! HE'S

TRYING TO EAT ME!

SCAREDY-CAT,

SCAREDY-CAT...

TROY, IT'S ME, MR. KEEBLE.

MacGOOGLES ATE

MAX'S DADDY!

AAH!

Max:
TROY HAD GROWN

A LOT SINCE THEN.

WHOA! WHOA!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

WHERE'S MAX?

I DON'T KNOW.

WASN'T IT YOUR TURN

TO WATCH HIM?

Troy:
WELCOME TO

COOKING WITH TROY.

FIRST, WHAT YOU

WANNA DO IS:

DIP YOUR LITTLE:

PIECE OF CHICKEN

IN A NICE, THICK BATTER.

NO. TROY, NO!

HOLD IT! STOP!

OK, WE'RE SET.

YAH!

NO! TROY!

AAH!

Troy:
NOW WHAT YOU

WANNA DO IS:

ROLL YOUR PIECE:

OF DEAD MEA IN SOME

BREAD CRUMBS.

PERFECT.

AND NOW THA THAT'S DONE,

OUR BIRD SHOULD BE

READY TO GO IN.

AAH!

Max:
OH, GROSS!

ECCH!

HOPE YOU LIKE LASAGNA.

SETTLE DOWN.

[TALKING CONTINUES]

CEASE!

[TALKING STOPS]

THIS THURSDAY,

SUPERINTENDENT KNEBWORTH

WILL BE HERE:

TO INSPECT THE SCHOOL.

AND SO I AM UPGRADING

MY POLICY OF ZERO TOLERANCE

TO ONE OF...

SUB-ZERO TOLERANCE.

WHICH IS...

MORE THAN ZERO.

[LAUGHING]

CEASE!

[LAUGHING STOPS]

AND NOW, WITHOU ANY FURTHER ADO,

WHAT'S THAT I HEAR?

[BAND MUSIC PLAYING]

THE PITTER-PATTER

OF LITTLE FEET?

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE

TO YOU THE NEWEST ADDITION

TO THE CURTIS JUNIOR

HIGH SCHOOL COTTONTAILS--

3 FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENTS

FROM EASTERN EUROPE,

AND THEIR NAMES ARE...

UNIMPORTANT,

BECAUSE THEY'RE HERE

TO LEAD US:

TO GRIDIRON GLORY.

WHY, ALL THEY NEED

IS A PLACE TO PLAY.

STUDENTS, I GIVE YOU...

YOUR NEW FOOTBALL STADIUM.

[CHEERING]

OOH-YAH!

HA!

[CHEERING STOPS]

[SQUISHING FOOTSTEPS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

Crowd:
EWW!

YOU, THERE!

LITTLE BOY!

PRANKSTER!

[LAUGHS]

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

UH, MAX KEEBLE.

I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU,

MAX KEEBLE.

YOU'RE ON MY LIST.

IT WASN'T MY--

SIT!

HEH HEH HEH.

THIS IS:

A BAD JUNIOR HIGH.

I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE

WHAT McGINTY DID TO YOU.

MR. JINDRAIKE SAYS

IF SOMEONE TRIES

TO START A FIGH WITH YOU,

YOU KNOW,

JUST IGNORE 'EM.

EW! ROBE!

EW.

Megan:
MAX, YOU

CAN'T GO THROUGH

THE REST OF THE DAY

LIKE THAT.

I DON'T PLAN ON IT.

WHERE'S HE GOING?

HOW GREAT.

HEY BABY:

HEY BABY:

YEAH BABY:

YEAH BABY:

HEY BABY:

COOL.

HEY, MAN, YOU GO ANY SPARE AIR?

YEAH BABY:

YEAH BABY:

WHOO!

HE CALLS HIS VICTIMS

"INVESTORS"?

HE'S GOT ALL THE

LATEST TECHNOLOGY,

AND HE'S LOOKING

TO MAKE A KILLING

IN THE STOCK MARKET.

M-M-M-M-M-M-M-

MARCHING CALL.

YOU KNOW A FELLA'S

GOOD FOR THE MOOLA

Max:
THIS GUY, DOBBS, WAS

ONCE A STOCK-MARKET WHIZ KID.

BY AGE 10, HE WAS

A MILLIONAIRE.

12:
15. MEETING

WITH KEEBLE.

KEEBLE.

Max:
BY AGE 12,

HE'D LOST IT ALL.

NOW HE'S OBSESSED

WITH GETTING IT BACK,

ONE KID AT A TIME.

Dobbs:
KEEBLE!

CAUGHT YOUR AC IN THE ASSEMBLY.

LOOKS LIKE YOU CAN

USE SOME HELP:

WITH MANAGING:

YOUR PORTFOLIO.

Max:
HEY, THAT'S

MY LUNCH MONEY!

AND YOU HAVE I ALL IN CASH.

KID, LET ME HOLD THIS

FOR A WHILE:

AND I'LL SET YOU UP

WITH A NICE MUTUAL FUND.

WHAT'S

GOING ON HERE?

HE'S TAKING

MAX'S LU--

[DOBBS GROWLS]

[TIMIDLY]

LUNCH MONEY.

IS THIS TRUE,

MR. DOBBS?

NO. I'M JUST, UH, SPREADING

SOME INVESTMENT WISDOM.

SPEAKING OF WHICH,

HOW DID VIAMWORK SYSTEMS

WORK OUT FOR YOU?

HEH HEH. BEST MONEY

I EVER SPENT.

BY THE WAY,

WHAT DO YOU THINK

OF HANDSPRING?

HANDSPRING? IT'S MOVIN'

TODAY. I'D SAY BUY.

THANKS.

NO PROB.

UH...

DON'T MISS ME. HA!

'SCUSE ME!

ANYBODY WAN MY CARROTS?

WHAT?

KEEBLE!

YOU MAY BE:

UNDER THE IMPRESSION

THAT I ENCOURAGE

HORSEPLAY AND MALARKEY.

I DON'T ENCOURAGE IT.

I EXCOURAGE IT.

EXCOURAGE?

IT MEANS THE OPPOSITE

OF ENCOURAGE.

LOOK IT UP.

Ms. Dingman:

ELLIOT!

AND SO, YOUNG MAN,

REMEMBER,

"STUDY" RHYMES

WITH "BUDDY." SCRAM.

HEY.

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU

DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID BAND

WASN'T COOL ENOUGH FOR YOU.

YEAH, BUT I-I

THOUGHT IT OVER,

AND I'VE DECIDED THA BAND IS PRETTY, UM...

[BRITNEY SPEARS' ...BABY,

ONE MORE TIME PLAYING]

HOT.

Jenna:

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING

SITTING IN MY SEAT?

DOES IT SAY YOUR NAME

ON IT OR SOMETHING?

YES.

SO, IF YOU DON'T MIND,

SHOO-SHOO. LET'S GO.

CAN YOU BELIEVE HER?

HI, JENNA.

HEY.

WELCOME, EVERYONE.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

SETTLE, PLEASE.

I SHOULD TELL YOU

RIGHT AWAY--

YOU'LL NOTICE THAT WE ARE

A BIT CRAMPED IN HERE,

THANKS TO SOME TEMPORARY

STORAGE FOISTED ON US

BY SOMEONE WHO HAS

ABSOLUTELY NO APPRECIATION

OF WHAT WE DO IN HERE.

NOW, IF YOU'LL GO

TO THE BEGINNING

FOR A SECOND NOBODY'S

LOOKIN' BACK AT ME

I NEVER EVEN NOTICE

WHERE THEY GO:

THE SUN IS SHINING

DOWN AND:

THERE'S NO ONE ELSE

AROUND NOW:

WISH YOU WERE HERE

TO HEAR ME SAY:

THIS IS GONNA BE

MY GREATEST DAY:

HOW FAR WOULD I GO

JUST TO HEAR:

EVERYBODY SAY:

[HORN HONKS]

[BRAKES SQUEALING]

[GLASS BREAKING]

THIS IS GONNA BE

MY GREATEST DAY:

MY GREATEST DAY:

MY GREATEST DAY:

HEY, TAD.

DID YOU MISS ME?

Max:
THIS IS TAD.

HE TOTALLY RULES

THE ANIMAL SHELTER.

I HELPED NURSE HIM WHEN

HE WAS A BABY CHIMP,

AND WE'VE BEEN BUDS

EVER SINCE.

[KISSES]

HEY, MAX!

Max:
HI, MARLEY.

WHAT'S UP?

HEY, COULD YOU

DO ME A FAVOR:

AND FEED THE GOAT?

SURE. WHAT'S GOING ON?

DIDN'T YOU HEAR?

WE'RE CLOSING DOWN.

SOME CREEP BOUGH UP THE PROPERTY

AND CANCELED:

OUR LEASE.

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN

TO THE ANIMALS?

WE'RE DOIN'

THE BEST WE CAN:

TO FIND HOMES:

FOR ALL OF 'EM,

BUT WE ONLY GO UNTIL THE END

OF THE WEEK.

IT'S MESSED UP,

I KNOW.

IT'S REAL

MESSED UP.

[MAA]

Max:
I COULDN' BELIEVE IT.

SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE,

BUT WHAT?

I THOUGHT MAYBE MY PARENTS

MIGHT HAVE AN IDEA.

THEY DID.

WE'RE MOVING?!

YEAH.

FOGE WANTS ME TO HEAD UP

THE NEW DIVISION.

I-I CAN' BELIEVE THIS. WHEN?

FRIDAY.

THIS FRIDAY?

MAN, THIS IS

TOTALLY UNFAIR!

I MEAN, MY--

MY LIFE IS HERE,

MY--MY FRIENDS

ARE HERE.

Don:
YEAH,

WE KNOW THAT, MAX.

BUT YOU'RE PROBABLY

GONNA MAKE PLENTY

OF NEW FRIENDS:

IN CHICAGO.

CH-CHICAGO?!

[SPUTTERS]

THIS WAS GONNA BE

MY YEAR. HERE.

Lily:
SWEETIE,

WE KNOW THIS IS:

HARD ON YOU.

IT'S HARD

ON ALL OF US.

WELL, THEN I HAVE

A GREAT, GREAT IDEA.

LET'S NOT GO.

FOGE IS MY BOSS.

HE'S COUNTING ON ME.

CAN'T YOU

JUST SAY NO?

NO. IT'S NO THAT SIMPLE.

THIS BITES.

HE'LL BE FINE.

[DOOR SLAMS]

[GLASS BREAKS]

Megan:
BUT, MAX,

CHICAGO'S, LIKE,

1,000 MILES AWAY.

YEAH, BETTER TELL

YOUR PARENTS:

TO WATCH OU FOR CARJACKERS.

THESE GUYS'LL JUS COME UP TO YOU

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