A Midsummer's Fantasia Page #5

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RIGHT ON SCHEDULE.

YOU READY?

CHECK.

LUNCH...

IS...

SERVED.

CHECK:

AND MATE.

AAH!

[KIDS LAUGHING]

HA HA HA HA.

WHO THREW THAT?

[CHUCKLES]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

HA HA HA HA HA!

Sugar Ray:
AIM FOR ME

AIM FOR ME:

FOOD FIGHT!

AIM FOR ME,

HIT IT:

IT'S A GREAT BIG WORLD

NOTHING:

DON'T BELIEVE

IN NOTHING ANYWAY

STILL GOT A LOT TO LEARN

BUT WE STARTED OU WITH NOTHING

WITH MY FRIENDS:

WE'RE GOING ON OUR WAY

STOP THA THIS INSTANT!

YOUR LIFE WILL REARRANGE

OH! I SAW THAT,

YOUNG MAN!

AAH!

I'M TAKING NAMES!

THAT'S OK,

WE'LL NEVER COME UNDONE

AIM FOR ME:

AIM FOR ME:

AAH!

AIM FOR ME:

THEY'LL TRY

TO COUNT YOU OUT

BUT YOU GOTTA:

COUNT YOURSELF IN

IF I GET MY SHIRT DIRTY,

MY MOM'S GONNA KILL ME!

NOT SAYING:

THAT I'M RIGHT

SEE THE TROUBLE:

THAT WE'VE BEEN IN

"JELL-O HELLO."

NO. "CAFETERIA HYSTERIA."

WHEN IT'S SAID AND DONE

AND YOU'VE GOT US

ON THE RUN:

THAT'S OK,

WE'LL NEVER COME UNDONE

AAH!

SOME PEOPLE CHANGE

YOU'RE ALL SUSPENDED!

YOU'RE SO FAR FROM HOME

AIM FOR ME:

HA HA HA HA HA!

AIM FOR ME,

AIM FOR ME:

AIM FOR ME, AAAH

AAAH!

AAH!

WHAT THE--

OHH!

THAT'S IT!

ROBE DID IT! AAH!

[LAUGHING]

AAH!

[SHRIEKS]

[LAUGHS]

SOME PEOPLE CHANGE,

AND YOUR LIFE WILL REARRANGE

EVEN WHEN YOU'RE

SO FAR FROM HOME

WHEN IT'S SAID AND DONE

OHH! AAH!

NOT HAVING FUN! OW!

AAH!

AND NOW,

ONTO THE PIECE:

DE RESISTANCE.

THE JEWEL IN:

THE CROWN OF CURTIS.

THE CAFETERIA.

[WHOOPING AND YELLING]

Robe:
IT'S MUSTARD!

YOU CAN'T KETCHUP,

'CAUSE IT'S MUSTARD!

YEAH!

SOME PEOPLE CHANGE,

AND YOUR LIFE WILL REARRANGE

EVEN WHEN YOU'RE

SO FAR FROM HOME

PLEASE BELIEVE ME

WHEN I TELL YOU,

THIS IS MY GIF TO YOU.

THAT'S OK,

WE'LL NEVER COME UNDONE

AIM FOR ME:

AIM FOR ME:

AIM FOR ME:

AIM FOR ME:

AIM FOR ME:

CEASE!

[MOTOR SPUTTERS, DIES]

SIR, I ASSURE YOU,

THIS BEHAVIOR:

SIR, I ASSURE YOU,

THIS BEHAVIOR:

IS UTTERLY:

WITHOUT PRECEDENT.

PLUS, IT NEVER

HAPPENED BEFORE.

WHO?

WHO STARTED THIS?

Jindraike:
IF THE CULPRI DOES NOT STEP FORWARD

THIS INSTANT,

SWIFT AND HORRIBLE

RETRIBUTION:

AWAITS EACH:

AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.

AAH!

[STUDENTS LAUGH

WHILE MONKEY SCREECHES]

[GROANING AND COUGHING]

[SIGHS]

THIS PLACE IS NUTS.

CRAZY LEGS!

WAIT!

UHH!

[DOOR SLAMS SHUT]

[STUDENTS TALKING

AND LAUGHING]

PBBBT!

THAT'S WHAT I DO.

THAT'S WHAT I DO.

THIS CAN'T HAPPEN TO ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE

CALLING ME OUT THERE?

THE MacGOOGLER.

TROY, EASY. NOW,

I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU THROUGH

A CHILDHOOD:

REGRESSION PROCESS.

IT MAY BRING UP:

SOME UNPLEASANT MEMORIES,

BUT I THINK YOU'LL FIND I HELPFUL IN THE END.

ALL RIGHTY?

MM-HMM.

NOW, GIVE

MR. MacGOOGLES A HUG.

AAH! AAH!

HE'S GONNA EAT ME!

[WHIMPERING]

WE'VE GOT SOME WORK TO DO.

I WANT MY COIL.

I WANT MY HANDHELD!

WHAT DID YOU SAY, PUNK?

I SAID:

"I WANT MY HANDHELD."

YOU WANT YOUR HANDHELD?

YEAH. YOU HEARD ME.

I SAID,

"I WANT MY HANDHELD."

YOU WANT ME:

TO HOLD YOUR HAND?

NO!

NEED SOMEBODY TO HOLD

HIS HAND. LITTLE BABY.

LITTLE--

GIVE ME THE COIL!

OH, THIS? HUH? HUH?

UHH!

NO!

OH!

[INDISTINC OVERLAPPING YELLING]

HUH?

HUH?

AAH!

AAH!

YEEHAW!

MEH-MEH-MEH,

MEH-MEH-MEH.

GOOD, TROY! NOW...

CAN YOU HELP ME:

FIND A LINK:

BETWEEN MacGOOGLES

AND YOUR FEARS?

WAS IT SOMETHING

FROM YOUR PAS OR SOMEBODY?

KEEBLE!

KEEBLE!

KEEBLE.

HEY, MAX.

HI, JENNA.

DO YOU WANT TO HANG OUT?

I'M MEETING SOME FRIENDS

AT BUDDIES.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I ACTUALLY GOTTA

KINDA BE SOMEWHERE.

OH, COME ON.

STAY FOR ONE MILK SHAKE.

IT'LL BE FUN.

WELL...

ONE MILK SHAKE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

OK. ALL RIGHT.

ONE...

MILK SHAKE.

HIT ME BABY,

ONE MORE TIME:

[CHANTING "KEEBLE"]

[CHEERING]

[BELCHES]

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

SO, YOU ACTUALLY

DID SET UP:

THAT WHOLE:

MONKEY THING:

AT THE CAFETERIA?

WELL, ACTUALLY,

TAD IS A CHIMPANZEE.

YOU'RE SO DEVIOUS.

WELL, IT'S REALLY PART OF

MY WHOLE NEW ATTITUDE--

WHAT I LIKE TO CALL

MY PHAT-ITUDE.

YO! DON'T CROWD

THE MAN, DUDE.

HE HAS PHAT-ITUDE.

GIT!

[INHALES]

[POP]

I WONDER WHERE MAX IS?

[HIGH-PITCHED]

DON'T WORRY. HE'LL BE HERE.

[SPRAYS]

SCHOOL IS OUT,

LET'S ENJOY THE HEAT

IT'S ALL YOU NOW, DO IT LIKE

YOU'RE PLAYIN' FOR KEEPS

DESTROYED RIGHT HERE

FOR YOU TO MAKIN' IT CHEAP

OLD SCHOOL, NEW SCHOOL,

COME ON, WIGGLE WITH ME

JUMP AND SLIDE:

NOW DIP,

THAT'S RIGHT

NOW JUMP AND SLIDE

NOW DIP,

THAT'S RIGHT

YOU WANT IT,

YOU GOT IT, AHH

YOU WANT IT,

BABY, YOU GOT IT

Max:
MEGAN, WAIT!

YOU WANT IT,

YOU GOT IT, AHH

DON'T WORRY ABOUT US.

JUST GO BACK TO YOUR PARTY.

IT'S NOT A PARTY.

I WAS JUST--

I WAS JUST COMING

TO SEE YOU GUYS.

WHATEVER.

I GUESS WE'RE JUST NO COOL ENOUGH FOR YOU.

DON'T SAY THAT.

BUT MEGAN--SHE LIKES YOU.

SHE REALLY LIKES YOU.

ROBE, WAIT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'VE BEEN WAITING.

NOW I'M GOIN' HOME.

HAVE A NICE LIFE

IN CHICAGO.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

WELL, CAN YOU TELL HER

THAT I CALLED?

Megan's mom:
SURE.

AND THAT I'M REALLY,

REALLY SORRY.

I'LL TELL HER, MAX.

THANKS.

AND DON'T FORGE THE SORRY PART PLEASE.

I WON'T.

THANK YOU. BYE.

HEY, CHAMP.

YOU SEEN YOUR MOM?

HEY, HONEY,

CAN YOU COME HERE QUICK?

I GOT BIG NEWS.

WHAT'S UP?

GUESS WHAT?

WE'RE NOT MOVING.

[CRASH]

WE'RE NOT?

UH-UH. I FINALLY GAVE FOGE

SOME OF HIS OWN MEDICINE.

Lily:
YOU FOGED FOGE?

Don:
YEAH. I QUIT.

WE'RE GONNA STAY HERE.

I'M GONNA STAR MY OWN BUSINESS.

Lily:
OH, SWEETIE!

NOW YOU'RE GONNA BE

THE BIG CHEESE!

HA HA!

HA HA!

NOT ANYMORE!

WAIT! WE'RE NOT MOVING?

UH-UH.

OH, LOOK AT HIM.

HE'S SO HAPPY,

HE CAN'T SPEAK!

HA HA HA!

Don:
HEY, HONEY,

CAN YOU HELP ME GET THIS OFF?

I SURE CAN!

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T GET I OVER MY HEAD WITH THE GLOVES.

T WAS I GONNA DO?

I HAD TO GET OUT OF THIS.

MAX, THIS IS

GONNA BE GREAT.

I FINALLY GET TO

BE MY OWN BOSS.

BUT, DAD, WHAT ABOU YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES--

THE HOUSE, THE FOOD,

MY CLOTHES?

WHAT ABOUT MY CLOTHES?

DO YOU WANT TO WEAR RAGS?

MAX, I OWE I ALL TO YOU.

YOU'RE THE ONE

THAT HELPED ME REALIZE

FOGE WAS NOTHING

BUT A BULLY.

IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU,

I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD

THE COURAGE:

TO STAND UP TO HIM.

I'M JUST A KID!

WHAT DO I KNOW?

YOU OK? YOU SEEM

A LITTLE JUMPY.

YES! YEAH.

YOU SURE?

YEAH. I'M COOL.

SO, SEE YOU

TONIGHT.

UH, YEAH.

YEAH.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

MAYBE.

Max:
MAYBE?

WHO WAS I KIDDING?

I WAS GRADE-A DEAD MEAT,

AND I KNEW IT.

WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW

IS THAT I'VE LEFT MY

FRIENDS IN THE SAME BOAT.

IT'S GONNA BE A

LONG YEAR FOR YOU, SLIM.

I'M GONNA POUND YOU

EVERY DAY.

AND ALL THANKS TO

YOUR GOOD FRIEND KEEBLE.

CATCH YOU AROUND, HUH?

GREAT.

LET'S JUST ROUND IT OFF

TO ALL YOUR MONEY FOREVER.

FROM HERE ON IN,

YOU WORK FOR ME.

HEH HEH! YEAH.

Max:
IN FACT, THE ENTIRE

SCHOOL WAS GOING TO SUFFER

BECAUSE OF ME.

OH, STOP SMILING.

THIS IS NOT A HAPPY PLACE.

[CRASH]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

FIND MAX KEEBLE. I'D LIKE

TO SPEAK TO HIM AT ONCE.

YOU BETTER:

BOOK A FLIGHT.

WHAT?

MAX KEEBLE:

MOVED TO CHICAGO.

I JUST FORWARDED

HIS FILE.

[SCREAMING, BREAKING GLASS,

AND CAT YOWLING]

MRS. RANGOON, A MOMEN OF YOUR TIME, PLEASE.

SOMEONE'S GO SOMETHING IMPORTAN TO SAY TO THE STUDENTS.

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