A Midsummer's Fantasia Page #6

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SOMEONE'S GOT SOMETHING

VERY IMPORTAN TO SAY TO THE STUDENTS,

AND DO YOU KNOW:

WHO THAT SOMEONE IS,

MRS. RANGOON?

IT'S ME, MRS. RANGOON.

HMM. YEAH.

AND WAIT TILL THEY HEAR IT.

Jindraike on P.A.:

ATTENTION, STUDENTS.

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE OF YESTERDAY'S

CRIMES AGAINST THE SCHOOL,

INSTIGATED BY YOUR FORMER

CLASSMATE MAX KEEBLE,

THE FOLLOWING:

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES

ARE NOW SUSPENDED--

ART, MUSIC, P.E.,

FUN!

SUSPENDED,

DISCONTINUED, DEFUNCT!

GREAT. YOUR BOYFRIEND

MAX KEEBLE:

JUST GOT US HOSED.

HE'S JUST MY PAPERBOY.

HMM. I NEVER

REALLY LIKED HIM.

[THUD]

[LAUGHTER]

KEEBLE!

OK. TODAY, CLASS,

WE'RE GOING TO REVIEW

SOME OF THE ELEMENTS

OF GRAMMAR.

McGINTY SAYS

HE'S GONNA POUND ME

EVERY DAY FOR:

THE REST OF MY LIFE.

DOBBS SAYS I HAVE TO

GIVE HIM ALL OF MY MONEY...

FOREVER.

SOME PLAUSIBLE:

DENIABILITY.

HI. DO YOU MIND IF I

HANG HERE FOR A WHILE,

BECAUSE THERE'S SOME

PEOPLE AFTER ME.

I DID SOME STUFF.

YEAH. YOU PROBABLY...

YEAH. I'M REALLY SORRY

ABOUT THE CAFETERIA.

BUT JINDRAIKE:

HAS NO RIGH TO DO WHAT HE'S DOING,

AND NOW:

MY FRIENDS ARE GONNA GE WAILED ON BECAUSE OF ME,

AND I CAN'T DO

ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

ANY KID CAN MAKE A MESS.

TAKES A MAN TO CLEAN IT UP.

Max:
IT TOOK

A MAN WITH A PLUNGER

TO MAKE ME REALIZE

THAT I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.

I THOUGHT I'D STOOD UP

TO THE BULLIES,

BUT ALL I'D REALLY DONE

WAS HIT AND RUN.

THAT'S NOT COURAGE.

THAT'S EX-COURAGE.

AS YOU KNOW, VERBS ARE WORDS

THAT DESCRIBE ACTIONS,

SO WHO CAN NAME A FEW?

BETRAY, DECEIVE, LIE.

Robe:
HOW ABOUT BURN,

SCREW OVER,

STAB IN THE BACK?

HEH! UH-HUH.

ATTENTION STUDENTS,

THIS IS MAX KEEBLE SPEAKING.

FIRST I'D LIKE TO SAY TO

MY FRIENDS MEGAN AND ROBE

THAT I KNOW:

THAT I ACTED LIKE A JERK,

AND I'M SORRY

FOR EVER GETTING YOU

INVOLVED IN THIS.

I SCREWED UP, BUT YOU

GUYS ARE MY BEST FRIENDS,

AND THAT'S FOREVER.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE

TO SAY, BUT I'M SORRY.

IT PROBABLY DOESN' MATTER TO YOU ANYMORE,

BUT I'M NOT MOVING.

KEEBLE!

AND McGINTY AND DOBBS,

IT'S ME YOU WANT,

SO LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE.

I MAY HAVE RUN BEFORE, BUT I AM

ALL THROUGH RUNNING NOW.

YOU WANT ME, I'LL BE

IN THE PARKING LOT, 3:00.

CUT!

END OF BROADCAST!

THAT IS ALL. THANK YOU.

AH!

HELLO, MAX.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT.

ANYTHING I CAN GET FOR YOU?

SPARKLING WATER? SODA?

NO? OK.

YOU'VE ACTED

LIKE A CRIMINAL,

SO I'M GOING TO TREA YOU LIKE A CRIMINAL.

I'M NOT A CRIMINAL.

PEOPLE WHO DO CRIMES

ARE CRIMINALS, LIKE YOU.

YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL

BEFORE SLANDERING

YOUR PRINCIPAL'S

SPOTLESS REPUTATION

WITH WILD:

AND GROUNDLESS CLAIMS.

THEY'RE NOT GROUNDLESS,

THEY'RE GROUND-FULL.

GROUND-FULL?

LOOK IT UP!

I SAW IT ON THE SCREEN.

YOU HAVE BEEN STEALING

FROM ALL THE SCHOOL BUDGETS

TO FUND YOUR STUPID

FOOTBALL STUFF.

SAW IT ON THE SCREEN,

DID YOU?

YEAH, AND IT'S TRUE.

YOU'RE A SMAR LITTLE BOY...

BUT SO AM I!

SO I FIDDLED:

WITH THE BUDGET.

FIDDLESTICKS.

IT'S MY BUDGET.

SO WE HAVE FEWER TEXTBOOKS.

BIG DEAL.

TEXTBOOKS ARE FOR NERDS.

FEWER BAND INSTRUMENTS--

WHO CARES?

BAND IS FOR LOSERS.

COME ON!

OH!

SO THE JANITOR HAS TO

WORK OVERTIME FOR NO PAY.

HE SHOULD PAY ME

FOR THE PRIVILEGE!

[CRASH]

NOW, LET ME DESCRIBE

YOUR NEXT 24 HOURS.

I'M GOING TO METE OU A PUNISHMENT TO YOU

THAT IS SO SEVERE,

FUTURE GENERATIONS

WILL REFER TO I AS "THE KEEBLE."

THEY WILL BEG:

ON BENDED KNEE--

"OH, PLEASE, SIR.

NOT THE KEEBLE, SIR.

"I SWEAR I'LL NEVER

MISBEHAVE AGAIN:

IF YOU'LL JUST SPARE

ME...THE KEEBLE."

AND SPARE THEM:

I SHALL, MAX,

FOR I AM:

A MERCIFUL MAN.

YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS

ARE SO IMMENSE:

THAT I WOULD BE:

DELINQUENT--

[BEEPING]

Jindraike:
MY BULLDOZER!

OH, GOODY.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT!

YOU DON'T KNOW!

YOU THOUGHT YOU SAVED

THE ANIMAL SHELTER.

IT WOULD APPEAR--NOT!

NOW STAY THERE!

DON'T GO AWAY.

UHH!

HMM.

[HUMMING]

UHH!

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[STUDENTS TALKING]

WHAT DO YOU THINK

JINDRAIKE'LL DO TO HIM?

WHAT DO YOU THINK

McGINTY AND

DOBBS'LL DO TO HIM?

WE GOT EVIL TROUBLE

MAYBE THEY'LL JUS FORGET THE WHOLE THING.

EVIL TROUBLE:

WE GOT EVIL TROUBLE

OR MAYBE THEY'LL

RIP HIS HEAD OFF.

WE'VE GOT TO

DO SOMETHING.

COME ON.

WE GOT EVIL TROUBLE

WE GOT EVIL TROUBLE

GOOD AFTERNOON,

MR. DOBBS.

ALWAYS A PLEASURE,

McGINTY.

THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC.

"KEEBLE CANCELED."

HERE'S JINNY.

KEEBLE?

KEEBLE!

[LOCK CLICKS]

[GIGGLES]

SACRILEGE!

OPEN THIS DOOR IMMEDIATELY!

[RATTLE]

CAGED LIKE AN ANIMAL.

IRONIC.

AAH!

[THUD]

OW!

SO, UH...

IS MY WATCH RUNNING FAST,

OR IS OUR KEEBLE FRIEND

RUNNING SCARED?

SOMEBODY LOOKING FOR ME?

KEEBLE, WELCOME TO

OUR PARKING LOT OF PAIN.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

[GROANING]

[BANGING]

YOU KNOW:

HOW DOCTORS SAY,

"THIS ISN'T GONNA

HURT A BIT"?

WELL,

I'M NOT A DOCTOR,

AND NEITHER IS:

McGINTY HERE.

HE'S RIGHT.

I'M NOT A DOCTOR.

YEAH!

OH, YOU KNOW,

THAT'S TOO BAD,

'CAUSE YOU'RE

GONNA NEED ONE.

UHH!

HOLD HIM!

LET HIM GO!

MEGAN, I'M HANDLING THIS!

SO AM I.

HA HA HA!

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA

DO ABOUT IT, HUH?

THIS. [PLAYS BEGINNING

TO WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT]

McGinty:
OH.

OK.

[BAND PLAYING

WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT]

HA HA HA HA!

[BAND FINISHES SONG]

[SARCASTIC]

I'M SO SCARED.

YOU SHOULD BE.

WE'RE TAKING BACK

OUR SCHOOL.

YEAH. NO MORE

BEING PUSHED AROUND.

NO MORE BEING STEPPED ON.

NO MORE MR. NOT-NICE GUY.

YOUR REIGN OF TERROR

OVER THE STUDENT BODY

HAS COME TO:

AN ABRUPT HALT.

WHAT?

WHAT?

YES, PLEASE.

FROM NOW ON,

YOU HAVE TO PAY US

TO USE THE RESTROOM.

WE'RE PULLING

YOUR PLUG!

THROW 'EM IN THE DUMPSTER!

SWIRLIE!

YEAH!

GET 'EM!

[YELLING]

NO!

[CLATTER]

AHA! AHA! AH!

[GRUNTING]

[YELLING]

IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA!

IT WAS HIS IDEA!

PUT ME DOWN!

WAIT!

WAIT!

WHAT ARE WE DOING?!

GETTING REVENGE:

ON THE BULLIES.

BUT THAT MAKES US

THE SAME AS THEM.

DON'T YOU SEE?

I MEAN, I WENT ABOU ALL THIS THE WRONG WAY.

WE ARE NO BETTER

THAN THE BULLIES

IF WE DO EXACTLY

WHAT THE BULLIES DO.

I MEAN, WE ALL--

WE NEED TO STAND TOGETHER

AND MAKE OUR SCHOOL A

BETTER PLACE FOR EVERYONE!

FOR YOU AND YOU AND YOU

AND EVEN YOU, WORRIED KID.

[SOBS]

MAN'S GOT A POINT.

YEAH!

WHAT SHOULD:

WE DO WITH THEM?

LET 'EM GO.

NO!

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERING]

HA HA HA!

[SOBBING]

WOW! HOW COOL ARE YOU?

YOU KNOW. JUST--

A BUNCH OF US ARE HAVING

A PARTY THIS WEEKEND.

NINTH GRADERS ONLY.

EXCEPT FOR YOU, MAX.

I'M SORRY. I CAN'T COME.

I'M MEETING SOMEBODY.

SHOO SHOO!

[LAUGHS]

WHATEVER.

NICE MOVE, MAX.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK NOT MOVING

WAS THE BEST MOVE OF ALL.

IT'S JINDRAIKE!

HE'S HEADING FOR

THE ANIMAL SHELTER!

Jindraike:
THAT'S IT! RUN!

SCATTER LIKE:

THE CHILDREN YOU ARE!

KNOCK, KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

[CRASH]

[BLEATING]

WHOA!

[THUD]

HUH?

GIDDYAP!

ALL RIGHT! WHO'S FIRST?!

[NEIGHING AND BLEATING]

I KNOW! HOW ABOU THE SMELLY GOAT?!

BAA!

NOT TODAY, JINDRAIKE.

THAT'S FAR ENOUGH.

ON SECOND THOUGHT, WHY

DON'T WE START WITH THE BOY

WHO TRIED TO SAVE

THE SMELLY GOAT?

I DO NOT FEAR YOUR

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