A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy Page #3

Probably because I was there

with the wrong person.

That's important,

because it's such a romantic place.

If two people are really in love,

a city like Paris becomes a great medium

through which to explore their feelings.

- Don't you think, Leopold?

- I like large cities.

Oh, and in the rain...

Tell me about your book, Professor.

What's the plot?

- What do you do, Miss, uh...?

- Dulcy.

Miss Dulcy.

I'm a nurse, but I get to do a lot of reading.

The patients all have books.

A lot of them are too weak to read,

or they die and I get to keep the copies.

Look, why don't we change our clothes

and play badminton?

- (Adrian) How could you lie to me?

- (Andrew) I didn't lie, Adrian.

I was not lying.

- Do you wanna know why I lied?

- You told me you didn't know her.

- Yes, that part I admit.

- What do you mean, "admit"?

- I caught you! You were exposed!

- May I make my point, please?

- Why didn't you want me to know?

- The way things are in our marriage,

I thought you'd be full

of fear and suspicion.

- I thought you'd be uneasy all weekend.

- Because you're guilty.

Guilty? That's a laugh. How am I guilty?

How can I be guilty if I didn't do anything?

Why should I be uneasy

unless you were lovers?

Lovers? I never laid

a finger on the woman.

Didn't you even think

she was gonna give you away?

I thought it was so insignificant she

wouldn't remember. It was so long ago.

You think that I would care?

I know I wasn't the first one.

It's just that you lied to me

that makes me wonder.

You dropped that glass

at the mention of her name.

Our marriage is not going well,

so I thought the less said, the better.

- You went out with her?

- No, never!

- Yeah, once.

- Once, and you took her here?

So twice, three times. You gonna quibble?

I drove her up here.

It was a simple thing.

I showed her the premises and I drove her

back to New York City. It was very easy...

- I swear by my mother.

- You didn't make love to her?

No! I would remember that.

And what if I did?

Which I didn't. I never did.

I've got a really terrible headache.

I'm gonna go get more tablets.

Listen, so how do you feel about her now,

when you see her after all these years?

This is why I didn't tell you. If things were

OK between us, this wouldn't bother you.

But you're so vulnerable,

and they'll be here all weekend,

- and we don't sleep together any more...

- Oh! Not so loud.

- And she's so beautiful...

- Oh...

That's a simple fact.

A blind man could see that.

Adrian, I love you. I was never in love with

Ariel Weymouth and I don't love her now.

Hey, trust me.

(Maxwell)

So how did you and Leopold meet?

(Ariel) We were both tourists

at St Peter's in Rome.

(Maxwell) You picked her up

at the Vatican?

(Ariel) My whole life I wanted

to see the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

(Leopold) I met her in

the basilica before a madonna.

I couldn't resist the impulse

to speak to this heavenly creature.

(Ariel) Leopold's an expert on Italian art.

(Leopold) I had the privilege of escorting

Ariel through the Sistine Chapel

and explaining to her exactly why

Michelangelo's ceiling was indeed great.

(Ariel) When Raphael first

laid eyes on it, he fainted.

(Maxwell) Had he eaten?

(Mendelssohn's

"Violin Concerto in E Minor")

- To summer.

- To summer

(Leopold) "The spring, the summer,

The childing autumn,

angry winter, change

Their wonted liveries."

OK. Try something else.

- Got it.

- Can I stop now?

Do you remember these woods at all?

Do you remember the bridge down there?

Of course. It was one of the most

beautiful summer nights I'd ever seen.

It was very romantic.

I think about that night all the time.

- No, really?

- Yeah.

And when I do, I want to kill you.

Kill you or myself, but much more you.

What for?

Do you have any idea

how much I lusted after you?

Why didn't you do something?

I wanted you to.

You were this diplomat's daughter,

raised by nuns.

I was shy. We were not in love.

It was pure animal lust.

- That's just what I was in the mood for.

- I know. I missed an opportunity.

I've regretted it ever since.

That's the saddest thing in life,

a missed opportunity.

And particularly rotten in this case

because after you left,

a month after you went to Europe,

I learned that you were, and had been,

sleeping with everyone. Everyone!

Not everyone.

Well, maybe it was everyone.

I wouldn't have been the first,

I'd have been the 21st.

Writers, bankers, poets, the entire

infield of the Chicago White Sox.

You have to admit, I wasn't one of

your shrinking, mousy, inhibited virgins.

- The understatement of the century.

- Did you want me to take charge?

- You didn't act like you wanted anything.

- I was used to slower women.

Adrian and I had no sex

till we were married.

Why are we rehashing all this? Huh?

It's over. We're two older people now.

By tomorrow this time, I'll be married too.

What is it with you and Leopold?

He's so much older than you.

Leopold's very brilliant. A genius.

So what? If you're such a free spirit,

why do you want to tie yourself down?

You know. For a woman,

the years slip away quickly.

- Don't tell me you're getting scared.

- Maybe.

But why? I don't understand.

You're so beautiful and charming.

- You could get any man that you wanted.

- No, that's not true.

That was always true, Ariel.

- Not you.

- Me?

I think amongst all the love affairs

I was running through then,

you were the one person

that could have stopped me.

- I could have?

- Yeah. I...

I was really beginning to care for you.

Sometimes I wonder what would have

happened if we'd made love that night.

The moment was so perfect.

People find out things about

themselves through lovemaking

that they never dreamed of.

What? What are you thinking?

Nothing. Only that our whole lives might

have been different if only I had acted.

Tell me something, Andrew.

If you lusted after me so,

why weren't you also in love with me?

Can the two feelings really be separate?

(Andrew) Did you see the trout

that I got? It was great!

- (Leopold) Look, Ariel, a fossil!

- (Maxwell) He means you, Andrew.

Millions of years old, when prehistoric

man roamed here naked and savage.

Give me the good, old days.

You'd like to see

some long-haired Neanderthal,

his primitive weapon in hand,

stalking through the brush like an animal,

never dreaming that

some day he will be extinct

and culture will be the order of the day?

Well, I'd like to try it for one night.

Look! There's a yellow-bellied sapsucker.

- We get a lot of great birds here.

- I love nature. I could live in the woods.

- Maxwell was raised by wolves.

- And he was raised by skunks.

Maxwell, why not do

the dance of the merry peasants?

(Leopold) There are

too many peasants as it is.

- (Dulcy) There's another sapsucker!

- (Maxwell) That sounds dirty.

These woods are especially beautiful.

(Andrew) They're enchanted.

On summer nights, you can see things.

- (Adrian) Shadows and glowing things.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes