A Perfect World: The Making of 'The Stepford Wives'

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Ladies and gentlemen, l would

now like to introduce

a legend in our industry.

She's the most successful president

in the history of our network

and for the past five years has

kept us at the very top of the ratings.

She's our maverick, our wild card,

and today she's gonna take us

right to the edge.

Please welcome a giant, a genius

and the hardest-working person

in television:
Joanna Eberhart.

Way to go, Joanna!

Thank you all so much. Thank you.

Joanna!

That feels good, especially coming

from such a fantastic group of people

from all across our great nation,

our network affiliates.

Give yourselves a great big hand.

You deserve it.

And l want

a big, fat Christmas bonus.

Just kidding, but not really,

because...

...l am so excited, l am so on fire,

l am so guts-and-glory passionate

about what l am about to show you.

So get ready, because

on Monday nights

the whole world will be watching

a man, a woman and a buzzer!

Are you ready

for the final gender challenge?

- Who makes more money?

- l do.

Who enters lronman triathlons

every year and wins?

l do.

Who secretly wishes they were

married to a hot, sexy lesbian?

- l do!

- l do!

lt's Tara!

And...

...on Thursdays...

No, this is not just a TV show.

No, this is a breakthrough,

a breakout, a break-all-the-rules

and bring-on-the-Emmys

mega-smash!

Yes!

Can l present to you this planet's

ultimate reality phenomenon?

I Can Do Better!

We wiII aII be right there

as happiIy-married coupIes

are fIown first cIass to

a tropicaI isIand paradise

where they wiII be compIeteIy

surrounded by professionaI prostitutes.

And at the end of the week...

WeII, Iet's take a peek.

Well, it's been a week, and Hank,

our personnel manager from Omaha,

has spent the entire seven days

with Vanessa,

our call girl and exotic dancer.

Yeah, it's been amazing.

And l'll admit we've had some fun

in the hot tub and all.

But you wanna know something,

Billy?

All we did was talk...

...because l love my wife...

...and the only place l want to be

is back in Omaha with my Barbara.

Tough break, Nessa.

And Barbara, you spent Monday

with Rocky,

our bodybuilder and male escort,

Tuesday through Thursday

with the entire cast

of the XXX film Hung Jury,

and you spent

the entire weekend with Tonkiro.

And now it's time for the final

decision. Barbara, it's yours to make.

ls it gonna be Omaha?

Or ''Oma-hunks''?

Well...

...before l came on this show

l only had sex with one man,

and that was usually Hank.

l love Hank deeply and forever

with all my heart,

and l would never do anything

to hurt him.

But l can do better!

The battle of the sexes,

as old as time but as--

Why?

- Excuse me?

- Why did you do it?

Oh, my God, it's Hank

from I Can Do Better!

Hank, everyone.

No, stop it.

l love Barbara. l had a family.

l had a life.

Hank,

l know it hurts.

Love isn't easy.

Relationships aren't easy,

not for anyone.

But now you know the truth

about Barbara,

and you are gonna move on

with your life.

And you're gonna meet

someone wonderful,

and America is gonna love you.

Yeah. l've got a great idea

for another hot new show.

Well, tell it to us.

lt's called...

- ...Let's KiII AII the Women.

- He's got a gun!

- Joanna, are you all right?

- l am great.

Raring to go. The police were

sensational. And not a scratch.

- You haven't heard?

- About what?

That man, Hank.

Right before he tried to kill you,

he went to see his ex-wife

and five of her new boyfriends.

- He did?

- He shot all of them.

The wife is in critical condition,

and four of the guys

are on life support.

- Tonkiro?

- He's fine.

- Thank God.

- So you know what this means.

Of course.

We pay for all of their medical

treatment, every penny.

We get them the very best therapist,

childcare, rehab,

whatever they need, and then

we fly them to New York, first class,

for a prime-time special,

Hank and Barbara:

Let the HeaIing Begin.

You're not listening.

We can't wear this. The lawsuits

alone may bankrupt the network.

And all your new shows, the whole

lineup, the affiliates won't touch them.

We have shareholders.

We can't let you sink the network.

But we wish you only the best.

Of course.

Thank you for being so classy

and taking this so well.

Joanna, we just wanted to say

that this is so not fair.

Goodbye, everybody!

All the best!

Jo?

Walter.

- What happened?

- Well,

you've had a complete

nervous collapse.

And the doctors say there's a lot

of work to do,

but you're gonna be just fine.

Oh, and Pete made this for you.

- Oh, that's so sweet.

- lsn't it?

And l wanted you to know

that the minute l heard the news,

l called the network and l quit.

- You did that for me?

- Of course.

l know l was only a vice president,

but l could never work

for those people,

not after the way they treated you.

Oh, Walter...

And do you remember what today is?

lt's our anniversary.

Oh, Walter...

...l'm so sorry.

Maybe that man who tried

to shoot me, maybe he was right.

Maybe l've become the wrong kind

of woman.

Maybe l've made all

of the wrong decisions.

Could we get away and start over?

And get it right, our marriage?

- But why are we moving?

- To Connecticut?

We're moving so that we can all

kick back and have a great new life

in this beautiful new town.

- Name?

- Kresby.

- Welcome to Stepford.

- Thanks.

- What do you think, guys?

- Cool.

- Good.

- Honey?

Hello, everyone. l'm Mrs. Wellington.

Welcome to Stepford.

l'm with Stepford Realty.

We spoke on the phone.

- You must be Walter.

- So nice to meet you in person.

And the little ones.

l bet you're Pete.

- Duh.

- Pete.

And he's every bit as handsome

as his dad.

Thank you.

And Kimberly, aren't you just

the cutest little bug's ear.

Bugs don't have ears.

lsn't she sassy, and a little sad.

And this must be Joanna.

- Electroshock?

- But she's doing great.

Hello, little Energizer.

The minute Walter called, l knew

this was the perfect house for you.

lt's the top of the line

here at Stepford Estates,

and it's got everything

an American family could ever need.

- And may l present to you...

- Look at this.

- This is amazing.

- ...the great room.

l call it cozy.

And it's also a smart house. Now,

this controls the security system.

- AII secure.

- lt talks to the refrigerator.

We need juice, we need juice,

we need juice.

The system also monitors

all the commodes.

Where it will test your urine

for blood sugar, protein and body fat.

FIush toiIets.

lsn't that great, kids?

- l'm gonna go check my room.

- Me too.

Now, Walter,

will you be commuting?

No.

No, Joanna and l both

left the network.

Oh, look, it's the puppy.

Robo Rover 3000. Come on, boy.

Come on, come on, come on.

Joanna.

The town is over 200 years old.

lt was founded by George Washington,

and Martha just loved it.

Stepford is Connecticut's

family paradise.

lt has no crime, no poverty

and no pushing.

What is that? Up on the hill?

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