A Perfect World: The Making of 'The Stepford Wives' Page #5

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Not really.

Open the door.

UnIock front.

And you're right.

About what?

lf you're that unhappy,

then we should move.

Maybe head back to the city.

We could leave tomorrow.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What do you got there? Huh?

Sweetcakes?

lt's 4 a.m. What are you up to?

Just recipes for tomorrow.

l like to get a head start.

- On what?

- Apple pie. Bobbie recommended it.

l'll be right up.

Walter?

Babe?

Bobbie? Bobbie!

Oh, my God.

Bobbie?

Good morning, Joanna.

lsn't it a lovely morning?

That's a pretty color.

- Mom!

- Mom!

Good morning, my precious ones.

And thank you for leaving

your requests on my e-mail.

Adam, you wanted

peanut butter and jelly, no crusts,

a Snickers bar and a Rolex.

Ben, here's a whole-wheat burrito,

a soy protein shake and three pieces

of German chocolate layer cake.

- From scratch?

- Of course.

And, Max, you get bacon,

lettuce and tomato

on a lightly-toasted

sesame seed bagel.

But what about my action figures?

There's Mace Windu and Amidala.

- Where's Boba Fett?

- They were out.

- Mom!

- Here's $500.

All right.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Joanna.

Oh, they grow up so fast.

l think l'll have three more.

Bobbie, listen to me.

What have they done to you, huh?

What have they done to you?

ls it drugs?

ls it brainwashing?

Come on, hey, talk to me.

Of course, but only for a minute.

Then l have to get to work

on this pigsty. Coffee?

No, no coffee. Bobbie, Bobbie.

Last night l went online, all right?

And l found out,

all of the women here,

they used to be big deals,

l mean, big deals.

CEOs, executives, judges.

Sarah Sunderson,

she used to run an airline.

With that perfect skin.

No. No, no, no.

She didn't used to look like that.

- None of the women did. They...

- Coffee?

Coffee? No. No coffee.

Bobbie. Bobbie. This isn't you.

That's right, Joanna. This isn't me.

lt's a whole new me.

l'm happy and l'm healthy

because l understand

- what's important in life.

- Yes.

- Your new book.

- That's right.

That's what's important,

my new cookbook.

And my husband and my family

and making a perfect home.

lt's a lesson every gal needs to learn.

Especially you.

l'm your friend, Joanna.

l'm going to help you.

- You need me.

- You stay away from me.

You're driven.

- Well, sometimes.

- And you're selfish.

- You wanna rule the world.

- No.

l can fix you. l can change you.

What...have...they...done to you?

Let's get busy.

Answer the phone.

Hello, is...? ls this the day camp?

Oh.

Yes, this is... This is Joanna Eberhart.

l would like to speak to my children.

l'm coming to pick them up

right now.

What?

Walter!

Walter, where are you?

l know you've got the kids.

Pete, Kimberly!

Oh, boys.

Welcome.

Where are my children?

- They're perfectly safe.

- Where are my children?

- You'll see them soon.

- Where's Walter?

How could you do this?

Ever since we met,

you've beaten me at everything.

You're better educated.

You're stronger, you're faster.

You're a better dancer,

a better tennis player.

You've always earned

at least six figures more

than l could ever dream of.

You're a better speaker,

a better executive.

You're even better at sex.

Don't deny it.

l wasn't going to.

Well, don't l get anything?

You got me.

No, l got to hold your purse.

l got to tell the kids

that you'd be late again.

l got to tell the press

that you had no comment.

l got to work for you.

With me.

Under you.

All of us.

We married wonder women.

Supergirls.

Amazon queens.

Well, you know what that makes us?

Smart, worthy, lucky.

We're the wuss.

The wind beneath your wings.

Your support system.

- We're the girl.

- And we don't like it.

- No, we don't.

- Yeah, that's right.

- You're damn right.

- Yeah. That's right.

And is this your answer,

to kill us?

Oh, no. Nothing like that.

We help you. We perfect you.

By turning us into robots?

Does any fraction of these women

still exist?

Of course. Almost everything.

- Shall we show her?

- Show me what?

lt's a promotional thing l've been

working on for when we go global.

Walter, l don't think you've seen this.

Some guys ask, how do we do it?

In Iayman's terms,

it's reaIIy pretty simpIe.

Come on aIong.

First, we take a gIoomy,

dissatisfied woman.

Then, in a very private experience

between husband and wife,

he gentIy pIaces her in our

femaIe improvement system.

It's fuIIy automated.

And then, abracadabra.

Her transformation begins.

First, we Iocate her brain.

We insert a few nanochips.

Then we program them.

AIso, we add

some secret, speciaI ingredients.

To avoid any accidents,

her husband is kept

at a comfortabIe distance.

Safety first.

FinaIIy, we enhance her,

to fit the ideaI Stepford Wife

specifications.

And...

...voiIa!

Everything is copasetic.

WeIcome to the future.

lt's a painting again.

l should explain. You see,

my real name isn't Mike.

lt's just a nickname

from where l used to work.

- Where?

- Microsoft.

- NASA.

- Disney.

AOL.

ls that why the women

are so slow?

Joanna.

ls this what you really want?

Women who behave like slaves,

women who are obsessed

with cleaning their kitchens

and doing their hair,

women who never challenge you

in any way,

women who exist

only to wait on you hand and foot?

- Yeah.

- That sounds good to me.

Joanna, you're a brilliant woman.

Surely you can appreciate,

at the very least,

the genius of the concept.

Picture, if you could streamline

your spouse,

if you could overhaul

every annoying habit,

every physical flaw,

every moment of whining

and nagging and farting in bed.

lmagine...

...if you could enjoy

the person you loved,

but only at their very best.

And the only reason for your anger,

your resentment, your rage

is really very simple.

You're furious

because we thought of it first.

While you were trying

to become men,

we decided to become gods.

Let me ask you something,

these machines,

these Stepford Wives,

can they say, ''l love you''?

Mike.

Of course.

Fifty-eight languages.

But do they mean it?

Enjoy.

Walter.

Walt.

Joanna. Right here.

- Sarah.

- Claire.

- Marianne.

- Charmaine.

- Roger.

- Roberta.

Oh, Mike!

Mike, Mike, Mike!

Mike, Mike, Mike!

Mike, Mike, Mike!

Good evening, everyone.

What a delight to see

all of our wonderful wives

and their happy, happy husbands.

Tonight is truly the highlight

of our year because tonight

we honor our very newest citizens

of Stepford.

ln my opinion, they are

the cream of the crop in couple

that proudly proclaims Stepford

the American way of love.

Now...

...l'd like to ask my wonderful woman,

my lovely wife,

my bride, my best friend,

to join me in a glorious

midsummer night's waltz.

Yeah.

ls everything perfect?

Everything.

- Mike.

- Yeah.

Darling.

- My pleasure.

- lt's an honor.

- Champagne?

- Allow me.

Doors activate.

WeIcome member 1 956.

Kresby, WaIter.

Entering secure area.

Warning.

Warning.

Initiating.

So, Joanna,

are you enjoying Stepford?

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