A Warrior's Tail Page #4

the washroom here?

Look, what I've got!

Makatunga!

The God of the Swamp People!

I wouldn't mess with me if I were you

unless you want to get yourselves

into a serious trouble!

I am Semi-baron Fafl!

Women have fought epic battles over me!

Well, guess there's no point

to continue this conversation.

Thank you, goodbye,

good luck and so long!

[gasps]

Death dealer!

Death dealer! Death dealer!

Death dealer! Death dealer!

Death dealer! Death dealer!

Death dealer! Death dealer!

Why are they scared of you?

They recognize my natural

physical prowess.

I am Semi-baron Fafl!

Never forget that name!

That was weird.

What next?

Now we need a plan.

NANTY:
Savva!

Nanty! Fafl! Puffy!

Thank goodness you're alive.

We went in after you.

What? How did you escape?

It's me. It was me.

They were all afraid of me.

- That was true. Terrified, really.

- It's the truth.

I've never seen anything like it.

They ran from him.

How did you escape?

- Anggee got me out.

- It don't add up, pal.

If he's a Rickie, why would he

save you from his own outfit?

Yeah, why?

Gather around, and I'll tell you.

ANGGEE:
You all know the story

of the white wolves.

We had lived in harmony with man

for hundreds of years,

protecting them from their enemies

until, in a time of desperate hunger,

our leader, my father,

- attacked a human.

- [woman screams]

As punishment for attacking humans,

the Magician gave us human form.

The white wolves are the Rickies.

Yes.

Now skip ahead, get to the good part.

Why are the Rickies afraid of me?

It was the cruelest part of the curse.

Because we had come to think of

ourselves as such mighty beasts,

the Magician made us vulnerable

to the tiniest creature in the forest.

- You're kidding. Seriously?

- Yes.

A Rickie can be killed instantly

by a single bite...

From a mosquito.

Me?

Wait a minute...

I'm sorry, Fafl, but it

wasn't you they were afraid of.

Well, what do you know about that?

Impossible!

I mean, I saw them!

They recoiled!

All right then! Answer this.

Why aren't you afraid of him?

ANGGEE:

When Shi-Sha broke my curse,

even though he only half succeeded,

and I continued to change

back and forth,

I lost my vulnerability to mosquitos.

But they were... No.

Now who's a warrior without rival, huh?

Great. Now he'll be insufferable.

[distant clamoring]

What's that?

[Monkey shouting]

[shouting continues]

All of that is for us?

What do we have to be worried about?

After all, we have Mosquito on our side.

Savva, trying to get through

that Monkey army

without the Rickies is impossible.

It's not too late to go back.

He's right.

There's no shame in it, cher.

No. My village is depending on me.

And your people are depending on you.

We'll get through.

I believe it with all my heart.

What are you doing?

Sending a message to my grandpa.

Do you want me to make

your sword strong?

Can you do that?

Simple magic.

That's it.

Amazing.

- It looked so simple.

- It is.

Practice six hours

every day of your life

from the time you are three years old,

and it becomes very simple.

[tender music]

SAVVA:
Anggee, is it true

that the sun and the stars

will go out one day?

ANGGEE:
Yes.

SAVVA:
But why?

Because they are not eternal.

What is eternal?

Nothing.

Nothing is eternal.

What about God?

God is, perhaps,

the only one who is eternal.

What about the heart?

No, the heart is not eternal.

But doesn't God have a heart?

Yes.

Of course He does.

His heart is eternal as God himself.

Who's there? Show yourself.

[footsteps]

Grandpa! You got my message!

Well, we will help you, darling.

Thank you for coming, but we

are still vastly outnumbered.

Angacetus.

What are you doing here?

I have a message from your father.

Rickies will fight on your side.

We will give you support.

Be our leader.

I smell Monkey barbecue.

[chuckles]

[clamoring]

Why are we here?

Are we having a giant picnic?

Here they come.

Here they come!

[clamoring]

You don't have to join us.

Sure, I'll go sit over there

and watch like a girl.

Hello, 911?

[chuckles]

I'm sorry, old friend.

I need to wake you up.

[roars]

[distant roar]

What is that noise?

Oldi has woken up.

- What do you think?

- I don't. I'm dumb.

Whee-ha!

Ready?

Come on, get over here! Hurry over here!

Steady!

Shoot!

Shields up!

Can't hide from Terminator!

Hold the line!

Onward to the Monkeys!

Where is the restroom here?

I'll be quick.

Platoon, go!

March on, troops!

No problem!

We're shredding and smashing.

Shredding and smashing.

Thank you, kid.

No more mercy!

I've got a pink lightsaber!

Gor, crush monkeys!

What on earth is that?

An overgrown bat.

Father!

All of you cowards

against my Monkey people?

You'll have it the hard way then!

You brought me the information.

Go and wake them.

What if they won't come,

little bloodsuckers?

They are living in a cave on my land.

Tell them to come,

or I'll send the Exterminator!

Mama Jozee needs your help!

We are under attack by the Rickies!

I get itchy from mosquito bites,

but if they help us win the battle,

I guess it's okay.

[buzzing]

Death dealers!

Do something!

You're the king, aren't you?

I can't stop them! We have to agree!

Agree with a mere insect?

I can not stop so low!

Fafl! Semi-baron, look!

[buzzing]

That doesn't look good.

I'm their only hope!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

I agree! You are the only hope!

You are completely correct!

Ah, that was humiliating.

Okay, bug, show us what you got.

Fafl, you're an idiot!

Stop!

The king! It's the king!

We will not bite a Rickie today!

Not one!

Our enemies today are the Monkeys!

[buzzing]

You parasites!

You traitors!

[buzzing]

Help!

Put me down!!

[howling]

Look, Ma, no hands!

I spent three hours on this hairdo!

This is terrible!

Well, it certainly seems

as though this might be

a propitious time to...

I'm out.

Perhaps it is a propitious

time to get lost.

Well, is this it?

Are we done?

Yeah, this is it. Goodbye and good luck.

You're a good man, Semi-baron Fafl.

Hah! It shows what you know!

I...

Oh. Uh, thank you.

Hey, hey!

I'm free! I'm free!

I am so happy.

I never have to hear his voice.

His stupid stories.

You never have to smell him.

Ah.

Well, I'm free.

That was really nice of you.

I have no idea what you mean.

Okay, fine.

Anggee, can you walk?

- I'm fine.

- Then let's move.

I want to get to the Magician

as soon as possible.

What kind of magician

lives in a place like this?

I know this house from old stories.

It is the house of the Old Witch.

House, turn your back to the forest,

your front to me.

That's what you're supposed to say.

- Oh!

- Relax.

It's just a big fat turkey.

Who is this Old Witch again?

- She's a witch who...

- A witch who what?

Who eats children.

Of course she does.

Well, that's a good sign.

SAVVA:
This place is creepy.

Maybe no one's home.

Me and my big mouth.

It's an old shirt.

You were expecting a magic cloak?

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