Adam's Rib

Right into the car. To the back of the car.

Watch your step. Step lively, please.

That's all. Take the next train.

Step back.

-Look here, Doris--

-Shut up!

My dear husband!

Oh, no. Doris, please!

Don't, Doris!

Oh, Doris!

Help!

Help, murder!

Help!

No!

No more, please.

7:
30.

7:
30.

You said it. 7:
30.

Hello, Pinky.

Hello, Pinkie.

You feel all right?

l don't know. Why?

You were making some funny noises

in the night.

l always do, don't l?

That is, you always say

that l always do. How do l know?

You always do, but not this kind.

What kind?

l don't remember exactly,

but sort of like....

-Like that, sort of.

-Really? You don't say.

Yeah.

-Fascinating.

-Huh?

l say l sound fascinating.

You'll do....

-Hot dog!

-What?

Wait a second.

What is it?

Woman shot her husband.

Kill him?

Wait a second. l think she....

Let's see.

-Nope.

-That's a shame.

Condition critical, though.

Congratulations.

Wow!

What?

-Wait a second.

-What is it?

-Find it in yours.

-lt isn't in here.

He was playing her fast and loose,

so she caught him out and popped him.

Who?

-This lady l've been telling you about.

-Some lady.

Serves him right, the little two-timer.

Says here he's 5'1 1 '', weighs 180.

Some ''little.''

Little in spirit, l mean, of course.

l don't approve of people rushing

around carrying loaded revolvers.

Depends on who they're rushing at.

ls that what they taught you

at Yale Law School?

lt's not funny.

Contempt for the law is the first thing--

Come in.

Better get moving, you two.

Heavy traffic today.

Attagirl!

You big pig.

-Let him go by.

-He wants the whole road.

All l'm saying is there are lots of

things that a man can do...

and in society's eyes it's all hunky-dory.

A woman does the same thing,

and she's an outcast.

-Finished?

-No.

l'm not blaming you personally, Adam,

because this is so.

-That's awfully large of you.

-No, it's not your fault.

Why let this deplorable system seep

into our courts of law...

where women are supposed to be equal?

Mostly, l think, females get advantages.

We don't want advantages,

and we don't want prejudices.

Don't get excited, honey.

You're giving me the Bryn Mawr accent.

What did she try to do?

She tried to keep her home intact.

By knocking off her husband.

She didn't knock him off. He's alive.

-She tried. She missed.

-Now supposing--

You want to give her another shot at him?

No, l don't.

-lt burns my goat.

-Your what?

My goat!

Crime should be punished, not condoned.

-lf a woman commits it.

-Anybody. Pull over.

-Sorry.

-You lady drivers!

You'll put me away yet!

-'Morning, sir.

-'Morning.

-'Morning, Roy.

-They down?

Just now. We've got five assaults,

seven robberies, and l'm still counting.

-You're still young.

-Not for long.

Mommy's only got one pair of brains.

l may give up smoking, you know that?

What's this habeas corpus on 904A?

-Search me.

-No sense to it.

Why should l give up smoking if l like it?

-Oh, no.

-Something?

-Good heavens.

-What?

The one case l don't want is the case l get.

That's always the way.

Rule of the profession.

-But this.

-Which one?

This hysterical Hannah

who tried to kill her husband.

-My wife feels--

-That's a cinch.

You've already got a full confession.

lt's the kind of case

you take your knitting. A cinch.

-A cinch?

-What?

-You're not married to my wife.

-How do you know?

A cinch.

l think l ought to poke you one, Roy.

-Yes, sir.

-Adam, you got a minute?

Right now, chief.

Cinch.

A case of overwrought.

Simple overwrought.

l've noticed guys doing

that sort of thing more and more.

l've got a theory. You want to hear it?

l think the human race

is having a nervous breakdown.

Which is why l am compelled...

to return same to you for further revision.

lf this course seems to you...

unnecessarily exacting...

may l again remind you

that unless we obtain...

certiorari in the immediate future....

-Grace.

-Yeah?

What do you think of a man

who's unfaithful to his wife?

Not nice, but--

What about a woman

who's unfaithful to her husband?

-Something terrible.

-Aha!

-What?

-Why the difference?

Why ''not nice'' if he does it,

and ''something terrible'' if she does it?

-l don't make the rules.

-Sure you do. We all do.

''Unless we obtain certiorari

in the immediate future--''

The matter looks hopeless.

l again urge you to study and consider

United Zinc....

A boy sows a wild oat or two,

the world winks.

A girl does the same, scandal.

-Yeah.

-Hello, honey.

Hello. Hello, husband.

-You've been on my mind.

-Where you been keeping yourself?.

-l've been resting up after a hard--

-Adam!

-Know the woman who shot her husband?

-Yeah.

-Want a good laugh?

-Sure, go ahead.

Well, l'm elected.

l was gonna ask the chief to let me off

to keep peace at home.

-What?

-The boss wants a quick conviction...

and l'm the guy who can get it for him.

-So he says.

-You big he-men make me sick!

-What?

-An outrage, that's what l think.

You're getting awful dramatic.

Why? What's so funny?

Nothing. You just sound cute

when you get ''causey.''

Hello?

Did you ever hear about the straw

that broke the camel's back?

Many times.

Well, it just happened again,

right on that phone.

The last straw on a female camel.

-Right on that phone?

-Yeah. Take all this down.

This is important.

There's a woman named.... Wait a minute.

Bobby, bring me the morning papers

in here right away. Will you, please?

Whatever her name was,

she shot her husband.

-Served him right.

-l'm not joking. This is big.

One:
Find out where she is.

Two:
Get me copies of all the police

and court records that are available.

Three:
Find who's handling her.

Probably Legal Aid Society.

lf that's it, let me talk to Rogers.

lf she's privately defended,

let me talk to them.

Four:
Get Miss Bassett

at Women's Council for Equal Rights.

Five:
Get my husband on the phone.

Six:
Don't get my husband.

-Thank you, Bobby.

-''Woman popped her ever-loving.''

Yeah. Thanks. Beat it. Attinger.

A-T-T-l-N-G-E-R.

Yes, Doris Attinger.

l want to see her today without fail.

-What's going to happen?

-Plenty.

What explanation have you got?

She's crazy, that's all.

That's the only explanation.

Plain crazy.

Plain crazy.

She's always been crazy,

if you want a fact.

-Crazy when you married her?

-Certainly. A fruitcake.

-Why did you marry her?

-How should l know? Who knows?

Why'd you marry yours?

Does anybody know?

Wait, Mr. Attinger. Let's not play around

with this too free-and-easy.

After you've filed complaint--

l've been complaining ever since

the day we got married.

Go ahead and file it. She's nuts!

That's my complaint.

l'd like to see her put away somewheres.

That's all. Out of my hair.

Murderers running around.

What kind of a town is this?

We don't have so many murderers

running around, Miss....

But we have a lot of other things

just as bad.

You mean like me, huh?

Listen, bub, l connect with you.

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