Adam's Rib Page #2

You ain't over my head.

-Good.

-l'm getting a lawyer on my own.

-l gotta get her put away.

-Listen, pal.

You're running way ahead of yourself.

You just give us the facts

and the background.

We'll get a conviction

on an attempted murder...

or first-degree assault or

however else the office wishes to proceed.

You understand that?

What do l do?

You just tell us the truth as clearly

and as accurately as you can.

Shoot. l mean, go ahead.

State your full name.

Warren Francis Attinger.

Where do you live?

66 West 12th Street.

-New York City?

-New York City.

Occupation?

Nothing. No occupation.

-Housewife.

-That's right. Housewife.

-All right.

-And mother?

Yes.

No, thank you.

l don't believe women should smoke.

You'll excuse me saying it.

Yes, l'll excuse you.

-Now--

-Thank you. lt's not feminine.

How long have you been married,

Mrs. Attinger?

Nine years and four months.

-l see.

-And 12 days.

-Finished?

-Yes, thank you.

-Thank you.

-Thank you.

And you have three children?

Warren, Jr., he's 8...

Allan, he's 7, and Trudy, she's 6.

That's all.

When did you begin to suspect that you

were losing your husband's affection?

When he stopped batting me around.

-When was that?

-Eleven months ago. March 14.

He struck you?

First time, he broke a tooth.

-My tooth.

-l see.

Upper left molar.

-And how often--

-lt's capped now. You can't notice it.

Good. Now, let's start

with the day of the accident--

No accident. l wanted to shoot him.

Suppose we decide later

just what you wanted to do.

Silly.

The difference between ten years

in prison and freedom...

is not silly, Mrs. Attinger.

Call me Doris.

Pay attention to what l'm saying.

l don't care what happens to me.

Do you care what happens

to Warren and Allan and Trudy?

Yes, l do. l want to go home.

Can't you fix it so l should go home?

Not right now, but we're working on it.

Here.

l promised my kids l'd take them

to Coney lsland tomorrow.

Yes, you drink that.

Now, you would help us very much

if you could reconstruct the day.

All of yesterday.

Well, first thing in the morning...

-Yes?

-...l woke up.

-Yes?

-And l see he didn't sleep home.

You were shocked and surprised.

Oh, no. Not shocked, not surprised.

He used to not do that a lot, come home.

Did you ever question him

about his behavior?

Certainly.

-Did he offer any explanation?

-Certainly.

He told me to shut up

and mind my own business.

l see.

But yesterday, l got worried.

Not worried, mad.

-l got mad. You know why?

-Why?

'Cause it was the fourth night in a row

he didn't.

-Come home?

-Yeah.

-And that made you angry?

-Sure. lt was getting a habit with him.

So l sent the kids to school,

and l went and bought a gun.

-Where?

-This hock shop l go to.

l bought a gun and they gave me

a book how to. Free.

Had you decided by this time

exactly what you planned to do?

l'll tell you the honest truth.

l didn't decide nothing.

l was doing everything like in a dream...

like l was watching myself,

but l couldn't help it.

-Like a dream?

-Yeah. Wait a second.

You got all that?

''Like l was watching myself,

but couldn't help it. Like a dream.''

Yeah, good. Now, go on, Doris.

So then l got very hungry.

-When?

-When l bought the gun.

-Yeah?

-So l went in this hamburger place...

and l ate two, rare,

and one lemon meringue pie.

And then?

Then l was still hungry.

Think of that.

So l walked all around...

and l kept talking to myself

not to be foolish.

-And then?

-And then l called up Warren.

He was just getting his lunch hour by now.

l said to him l want to see him important,

so if we could have lunch together?

So he said no, naturally.

So l asked him, ''You coming home after?''

So he says, ''What for?''

So l said to him,

''Don't you live there no more?''

So he says, ''Don't bother me at the office.

You want me to lose my job?''

Loud. So then he hung up.

And what did you do?

l had a cup of coffee.

Where?

The same place as him,

only he didn't see me.

lt was crowded. The Buffet Exchange.

So then l bought

some chocolate nut bars...

and l went outside of his office

and l waited the whole afternoon.

And l kept eating the candy bars

and waiting until he come out.

And then l followed him.

And then l shot him.

And after you shot him,

how did you feel then?

Hungry.

Everything looks lovely, Mary.

-You must be dead.

-l don't care, except the extra help.

The more help l got,

the harder l have to work.

-l'm not late, am l?

-lsn't that typical.

Twenty minutes of 8:00.

Beautiful!

l don't....

Can you get dressed in four minutes?

Of course l can't get dressed

in four minutes.

Why, sure, darling,

l can get dressed in four minutes.

l may have trouble getting in a bath

in that time.

You are hurrying up, aren't you, darling?

Do you remember Judge Marcasson's

wife's name?

l do. Alice.

l hope Kip knows enough to behave

with the judges around.

l'll keep him playing the piano

as much as possible.

-Have a good day?

-Yeah.

-You make a lot of money?

-No.

-Better than money.

-Really? What?

A very interesting development.

Very.

Good.

l hope you'll think so

when you find out what it is.

lt may jar you a bit at first, but....

Pinky!

Calling me?

What's that?

Just the best hat in the world.

For the best head.

l may ask you to come home late

every single night.

Someday they're gonna build

a statue to you somewhere.

l said.... Now, what about that?

-That's sweet.

-lsn't that absolutely a miracle?

You look kind of like Grandma Moses.

-Yeah?

-Your mother and father are here.

-Tell them we'll be right down.

-Tell them to fix themselves a drink!

-What?

-A drink.

No, thanks.

What?

l said l don't want one, thanks.

For the love of heaven.

-How do l look?

-Oh, boy, you look handsome.

-This is a dress l have on.

-Oh, it's beautiful!

They'll be right down, Mrs. Bonner.

-How are you, Mary?

-Hello, everybody.

-Hello, honey.

-lt's just us.

-Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

-Son, how are you?

Dad. Hi.

-Hello, Adam.

-Hello, dear.

Adam, mix the drinks.

l'm sorry we're late, but l'm not to blame.

-l have an irresponsible husband.

-Hereditary.

We're gonna have

the most sensational dinner.

-Oh, my dress. Do it up, will you?

-l'm sorry. l forgot my glasses.

You did? Adam!

Come in here and fasten me up.

-Sit down.

-Fasten? Here, Pop.

Mix 'em, don't drink 'em.

l suppose someday

somebody will invent something--

You've got no complaint.

You ought to see some of the things

l used to have to handle.

Hooks and eyes, egad.

She had an evening gown one time

had about two thousand.

-Don't exaggerate.

-All right, then. One thousand.

Used to start to hook her up

right after breakfast.

-Good evening.

-Good evening, Mary.

Anybody else important here yet?

Well, look at us. All the way

from across the hall and on time.

-Don't we look nice?

-You certainly do.

-You know Emerald Messel, don't you?

-Emerald, how are you?

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