Adam's Rib Page #3

You know Adam's father and mother?

Emerald Messel.

She's just been proposing to me.

That's why we're on time.

Ha-ha!

No humor, but stinkin' rich.

-What do you want to drink?

-Whatever's going.

-Dad, would you be an angel?

-You bet.

-Need some help, old friend?

-No, thanks.

Why not? She may be your wife,

but she's my lawyer.

Amanda, my love, why do you stay

married to a legal beagle with 10 thumbs?

All right, Kip. That's enough.

Not for me it's not.

-Why don't you go play the piano?

-All right.

-l suppose that is why l was invited.

-That's right.

Somebody ought to bring me a drink.

l choose Amanda

Are you the judges?

Somebody said judges were coming.

Hello, Dotty.

You always have judges here.

Why is that? To get in good with them?

How very nice to see you, Mrs. Marcasson.

How very nice to see you, Mrs. Marcasson

How very nice to see you, Mrs. Marcasson

The judge is standing by

but l really don't know why

What were you doing down

in my bailiwick today?

Oh, just a little ambulance chasing.

-Successful?

-Well, l got the case.

What case?

A girl named Doris Attinger shot

her husband. l'm going to defend her.

Dinner is served, madam.

Well, let's go on in, everyone.

That's all right, darling.

-This picture drags.

-Shut up, Kip.

Are you all sure that you want to see this?

l don't.

Look at that.

This is our main house.

The cottage is out here by the camera.

l can't see it.

What an unusual name. Your idea, Adam?

Cute outfit, Amanda. Really cute.

Mighty pretty country up there!

Ha-ha.

l know a lady collapsed a lung once

laughing like that.

Cute outfit, Adam! Really cute!

Look at those darling dogs.

One, two, three.

Sort of an animal picture, isn't it?

l would say this movie has

a rather limited appeal.

-What's that anyhow?

-lt's the mortgage.

That was the day

they paid off the mortgage.

Bought it out myself.

Looks like rubber from here.

We acted this all out later, of course.

l mean, it's not actual.

All right, bigmouth, settle down.

Seems much slower than

the other eight times l've seen it.

Who took these pictures, your cow?

-You ought to be on the stage, Judge.

-Anywhere but in this picture.

You should have burned the mortgage.

We did, Dad. Wait, look.

Cute, Adam. Very cute.

What expensive hot dogs!

Our tree.

Tree kissing,

a famous old Connecticut custom.

Barn kissing,

a famous old Connecticut custom.

What a funny, funny....

Wife kissing,

a famous old Connecticut custom.

Okay, everybody, on your heads.

As the sanking soo sunks

into the sinking sand...

we say good-bye...

to Bonner Hill

and the sickening home movies.

All right!

You've said the same thing nine times!

For the tenth time then,

will you stay out of this Attinger thing?

Did you have to sulk all evening,

and with a growl on your face?

How could l?

lf you think you're gonna turn a court

of law into a Punch and Judy show--

Darling, please!

This means a great deal to me...

and it's not a stunt.

This poor woman.

lsn't she entitled to the same justice...

that's usually reserved for men?

The same unwritten law

that got Lennahan off.

-Would you please--

-l know what you're going to say.

He should have been convicted, too,

but he wasn't.

-Couldn't l please--

-You're not putting her away...

just because she had the misfortune

to be born a female.

Just one word in edgewise.

Could l please get a word in edgewise?

-Go ahead.

-Not one ''sybbal''....

Not one syllable of what you have been

blabbering here tonight--

You always do that when you get excited.

l am going to cut you into 12 little pieces...

and feed you to the jury,

so get prepared for it.

Good night, Pinky.

Oh, good night.

Mr. Bonner.

Have you agreed on a date

for the People v. Riverton?

Yes, Your Honor.

The People v. Delwyn

has been assigned to part three.

All witnesses in that case

will proceed to that part.

That's part three.

People against Attinger.

You may proceed.

Your Honor, l move the case of

the People of the State of New York...

against Doris Szabo Attinger to trial.

-ls the defendant ready?

-Defendant is ready.

Very well.

You may proceed to select a jury.

Paul Hurlock.

Take your coat with you, please.

Place your left hand on the Bible.

Raise your right hand.

You swear to truthfully answer

all questions...

put to you to challenge your competence...

as an impartial juror in this proceeding...

between New York and Doris Attinger,

so help you God?

-l do.

-Be seated.

State your full name and address.

Paul Hurlock, 1 731 Boylston Avenue,

New York City.

Mr. Hurlock, what's your occupation?

lnfants' headgear.

Are you personally acquainted

with one Warren Attinger?

No.

-Doris Szabo Attinger?

-No.

-Beryl Caighn?

-No.

Do you think that you're able to render

a just and honest verdict...

in this case as deduced by the evidence

of the law as laid down by the court?

-Sure.

-Yes?

-Yes.

-The juror is acceptable to the People.

-Good morning, Mr. Hurlock.

-Good morning.

Do you believe in equal rights for women?

-What?

-Objection.

May it please the court,

l submit that my entire line of defense...

is based on the proposition that

persons of the female sex...

should be dealt with before the law

as equals of persons of the male sex.

l submit that l cannot hope to argue

this line...

before minds hostile to

and prejudiced against the female sex.

Objection still stands, Your Honor.

-Overruled.

-Exception.

Repeat the question, Counselor.

Do you believe in equal rights for women?

l should say not.

The defendant challenges

this juror for cause.

Excused.

Benjamin Klausner.

ln view of the fact

that counsel have agreed...

that alternate jurors

are not to be selected...

may we proceed without making a call

for additional prospective jurors?

You may proceed.

Left hand on the Bible,

raise your right hand.

You swear to truthfully answer

all questions...

put to you to challenge your competence...

as an impartial juror in this proceeding...

between New York and Doris Attinger,

so help you God?

-l do.

-Be seated.

-Benjamin ''Klowsner''?

-Klausner.

-State your address.

-107 East 77th Street, New York City.

-Occupation.

-Motion-picture projectionist.

Have you ever served

on a motion-picture projectionist before?

What?

-Have you ever served on a jury before?

-No.

-Hello, thing.

-Hello, at last.

-Well, well, well.

-Well, well, well, what?

-Here we are.

-How true.

Home at last.

Took the words right out of my....

Darling?

Are you all right?

How do you mean?

l mean in health and so forth.

-Sure.

-Good.

ln health, excellent. ln so forth, fair.

-What's that some of?.

-Some of daiquiris.

Oh, good.

Nobody died in the evening papers.

lsn't that nice?

What do you suppose it is,

perverseness of human nature or what?

lt seems every night when Mary's out,

that's the night l want to stay home.

Not me. l love to go out to dinner.

l'd rather go out than anything.

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