Adam's Rib Page #4

-Where do you want to go tonight?

-No place. l want to stay home.

Would you mind? Please?

-l don't know.

-Cook up something ourselves.

Something exotic.

How would you care for some of that?

-l would.

-Of what?

What you said.

Fine. You gonna make it?

You're not making too much sense.

Do you want to talk to me

or read that paper?

-Read the paper.

-Why?

Quite a lot about me in it.

l guess that's why.

Yes, l'll bet.

You feel Pinky, cranky?

You feel cranky, Pinky?

Hard day, huh?

-ln court all day?

-Yes.

Had to mix it up with a tough customer.

-That always makes you irritable.

-Not so bad.

-ln fact, it was a cinch.

-That's good, isn't it?

-lsn't it?

-Oh, my, my, my.

Dear?

-You mean me?

-l sure do.

-Listen.

-l'm all ears.

-l wish you were.

-What?

You all right?

Me? Sure. Of course. Why?

l just wouldn't want to think of you

not being all right, that's all.

-You know what you are?

-What?

-Lovable.

-l know.

-Are you hungry?

-Yes, l'm starving.

Let's go.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Give you a real rubdown later

if you'll give me one.

There. That's more like it.

-Ouch!

-What's the matter?

Anything for a hungry man?

-Cheese. A souffl, maybe?

-No.

l've got enough on my mind

without a souffl.

There ought to be some lamb left.

l don't think.... Wait a minute. Yes!

Lamb?

-Lamb curry. What do you say?

-Perfect.

With rice.

-Chutney.

-Yes, l think so.

Tea. Tea and curry. That's the thing.

-And salad.

-Give me the junk for the salad.

Do you know, you were pretty cute

in there today, my little.

You weren't so bad yourself, chum.

-Do you mind a bit of garlic?

-Why a bit?

-Pinkie?

-What, Pinky?

-Do me a favor, will ya?

-Not too much salt?

No. Drop the case.

-l can't.

-Why not?

-lt's my cause.

-l know.

But l could see in there today,

it's gonna get sillier and messier...

day by day by day.

By day.

-l don't ask many favors.

-Sure you do.

-You can handle it from your desk.

-Not as good.

Listen, darling, l know that deep down

you agree with me...

with everything l want

and hope and believe in.

We couldn't be so close if you didn't.

lf l didn't feel that you did.

-Sure.

-Take this trial.

Maybe it has some of the inconvenience

of the spotlight...

-but that's the point.

-What point?

Not any green peppers. lndigestible.

Everything's indigestible to some people.

-l don't like green peppers.

-No green peppers.

-Take the Boston Tea Party.

-lnstead of the green peppers?

What did they do?

They dramatized an injustice.

That's all l'm trying to do.

People will be making jokes about us

over the radio before long.

-All in a good cause.

-Your cause.

Everybody's.

There's just enough for us.

Hello, you well-known thing, you.

How are you?

You ask that because you can't think

of anything else to say.

You don't care whether l live or die.

Hello, lawyer dear. Seen all these?

-Yeah. Thank you.

-Have some extras.

Marvelous goings-on.

Everybody's talking about it.

-Yeah. That's the idea.

-Sort of like the World Series.

Yes, l'm afraid it is.

What have you been eating,

raspberry jam or Amanda's face?

Oh, very funny.

-Very, very funny.

-l didn't even notice it.

lf you'd look at me once in a while,

you'd notice things.

Bicker, bicker. l give them three months.

What do you want, anyway?

As if you didn't know.

-How's it coming?

-The show?

Smashing. Simply smashing.

Couldn't get much work done today.

Another notion got in the way.

-A new song. Wanna hear it?

-Maybe some other time.

lt's not finished yet, but,

please, it's for you.

And, Adam, you don't have to listen.

-He's written a song.

-Darling, don't be cross.

He's sweet.

Listening?

No verse yet.

Listening?

Listening?

Help!

Pardon.

Did someone say, ''Sing it again''?

-No.

-l haven't got time anyway.

-lt's very pretty.

-Pretty fresh.

You're not friendly to me.

l may consult my lawyer.

l think you should change the name.

Can't. lt won't scan, see?

Good luck tomorrow, Amanda.

l'm on your side. l guess you know that.

You've got me so convinced,

l may even go out and become a woman.

Good night, all.

He wouldn't have far to go either.

What's the matter?

He can hear you.

Then what happened?

-Then l heard a noise, and--

-What kind of a noise?

Like a sound. Like a loud sound going off.

-Yes?

-So l jumped up...

and all of a sudden l saw her.

-Mrs. Attinger?

-Yes.

-Say so, please.

-l seen Mrs. Attinger.

She was coming after me with this gun

right in her two hands.

l guess l must've started to conk out--

Excuse me, to faint.

So then Mr. Attinger grabbed me,

so as l shouldn't fall down, l guess...

and then she,

Mrs. Attinger, tried to kill me.

Objection.

Will the court instruct the witness

to refrain from testifying to conclusions?

Sustain that. Jury, disregard reply.

Strike from record.

Witness will please confine herself

to the recital of facts.

-What did she do?

-She shot me, at me.

l mean, she tried to shoot me.

-How do you know that?

-Because she did it.

So then he jumped in front of me,

Warren, Mr. Attinger...

and l ran out in the hall hollering...

and then l fainted

and everything went black.

Your witness.

Everything went black a little earlier,

didn't it, Miss Caighn?

What?

l refer to the black silk negligee

you put on to receive Mr. Attinger.

-Objection. lrrelevant.

-Not at all.

-What difference does it make?

-A lot.

Overruled.

Exception.

Were you wearing

a black silk, lace negligee?

-Yes.

-Speak up, Miss Caighn.

We're all interested in

what you have to say.

-What else?

-What?

Answer the question.

-l can't remember.

-Shoes? Slippers?

-Yes.

-Which?

-Slippers.

-Stockings?

Yes.

-Think again.

-No.

Nothing else?

-Yes.

-What?

A hair ribbon.

ls this your usual costume...

for receiving casual callers?

Objection.

Sustained.

Withdrawn.

Miss Caighn, you said

Mr. Attinger came to see you about....

About another insurance policy.

l said this already.

Well, say it again.

Mr. Attinger came to collect on my policy

and explain me another kind.

-You hold?

-Straight life, $3,000.

-And he came to discuss?

-Health and accident.

He showed remarkable foresight in this,

wouldn't you say?

Would Your Honor instruct counsel...

to refrain from these sly

and feminine hints?

l'll withdraw the question, on condition...

that the word ''feminine''

be stricken from the record.

-So be it.

-So ordered.

Miss Caighn, a while ago you said....

Would you be kind enough to read me

some of Miss Caighn's testimony?

She just fainted, l believe,

for the first time.

''So l guess l must've started to conk out.

''Excuse me, to faint.

So Mr. Attinger grabbed me--''

That's it. Thank you very much.

You said Mr. Attinger grabbed you.

Yes.

-Had he ever grabbed you before?

-No.

-Never before?

-No!

You're aware that you're under oath...

and that any false answer

makes you liable to perjury?

Yes.

Mr. Attinger had never

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