Adam's Rib Page #5

touched you before this time.

Sure.

We used to shake hands quite a lot.

l see. Did you enjoy it?

Objection!

Sustained.

And the year before that, what did you

give your wife for her birthday?

-Nothing.

-Nothing again.

-And the year before that?

-l don't remember.

You don't remember

because there's nothing to remember.

Wait a second. lt was....

Husbands remember the gifts they give,

Mr. Attinger.

-Okay, so l didn't.

-Why?

Had she ceased to be a good wife to you?

She's okay.

Mr. Attinger, do you wish

to see justice done in this case?

-Yes.

-All right. Tell the truth.

-Do you love your wife? Tell the truth.

-No.

Did you love her before she shot you?

-Tell the truth.

-When before?

-The day before.

-No.

When did you meet Beryl Caighn?

A year, maybe and a half.

And when did you stop loving your wife?

Tell the truth.

-At least three years.

-Why? Tell the truth.

She started getting too fat.

-Did you tell her about that?

-Yeah.

-What happened?

-She got fatter.

Mr. Attinger...

did you ever strike your wife?

-Not much.

-Tell the jury yes or no.

-Yeah.

-Knock her down?

-What?

-Did you ever knock her down?

Tell the truth.

Maybe a couple of times

she tripped or slipped.

Scold her?

Tell the jury yes or no.

-Yeah.

-Stay out all night?

Yeah.

Do you consider yourself a good husband?

Yes.

That's all.

-Your wife ever scold you?

-Yes.

-Strike you?

-Yes.

-Knock you down?

-Yes.

-Did she ever stay out all night?

-No. l wish she did.

Never mind the comment.

Just answer the questions.

What l'm doing now, all day.

Now listen to this very carefully.

-Did your wife ever threaten you?

-Sure. Yeah.

-When?

-Every day.

And what effect did this have upon you?

lt made me into a nervous wreck.

How else did she mistreat you?

ln bed. She used to hit me in my sleep.

-How?

-What do you mean, ''How''?

With her fist.

Now you're sure this wasn't

just your imagination?

You don't get a split lip from imagination.

She used to wait till l went to sleep.

Then....

So then an argument.

So then l'd go to sleep again. So then....

-This caused you great distress?

-Yes.

Also sleepless nights.

So l says, ''Listen, Warren,

you can't have it both ways.

''So make up your mind, and don't try to

make some kind of part-timer out of me.''

So he says, ''Bite your tongue, fatso.''

So l says, ''You comin' home for supper?''

So he says, ''l'll write you a letter.''

So l said, ''You coming home after?''

So he says, ''l'll put an ad in

the New York Times personal column...

''and let you know.''

So l says, ''Don't get too sassy,

Mr. Attinger.''

So he says, ''Don't you be looking at me

so cockeyed...

'''cause l don't want to have to shake

your head up to straighten 'em out.''

So l threw it.

-Threw what?

-The pot.

So he left mad.

And that was the last you saw him?

Till later, when l followed him up...

caught him muzzlin' that tall job.

-Objection.

-Sustained.

lnstruct jury, bear in mind

activity not yet known.

When you entered Apartment D,

what did you see?

Them, clutching.

-How close together were they?

-No close. Together.

-No space between them?

-No space.

Where were her hands?

On his ears.

-On his ears?

-One on each ear.

Maybe that's why

he didn't hear me come in.

And where were his hands?

Who knows?

You didn't see them?

Around her someplace.

-Did that surprise you?

-No. l figured.

But it enraged you?

-Objection. Leading.

-Sustained.

When you found them thus embraced,

what happened?

lt enraged me.

Then what?

l pressed the gun.

And?

Bang?

Did you take careful aim?

l was too nervous.

Did you aim at all?

l was too nervous.

Did you at that time

intend to kill Beryl Caighn?

No.

-To wound her?

-No.

-To frighten her?

-Yes.

-To kill your husband?

-No.

-To wound him?

-No.

-To frighten him?

-No.

-No?

-No.

ln other words, you fired the pistol...

only to frighten Beryl Caighn.

Yes.

What was the point of that?

l have three children.

She was breaking up my home!

That's right, Mrs. Attinger.

Go ahead and have a good cry.

But somewhere in between those sobs

maybe you could tell us...

who it is you're crying for.

ls it for Beryl Caighn,

an innocent bystander...

to your sordid domestic failure...

or is it your husband,

driven ill by your shrewishness?

Or is it your children, cursed with

an unstable and irresponsible mother?

-Or could it be for yourself--

-l object to this pre-peroration...

on the grounds that it is prejudicial

to the defendant!

Let it stand. l can't see

that it much matters. Overruled.

Exception.

But do get on with it, Mr. Bonner. Please.

Your husband has testified...

that you have frequent fits of temper.

-l must object--

-What are you gonna do...

object before l ask the question?

This is an attempt to paint

the defendant as a lunatic.

Mrs. Attinger is a fine, healthy....

-A noble wife, mother--

-Just a moment, please!

May l remind the court of the words

of the poet Congreve?

Are you gonna quote poetry?

''Heaven hath no rage

like love to hatred turned

''Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned''

Now just a moment! Read the question.

''Your husband has testified that you

have frequent fits of temper.

''Now what about....''

Don't tell me that judge is impartial.

Every time l look up at him,

l can just see him.

Quiet, please. lt doesn't do you any good

if you don't.... Wait a minute.

-Relax.

-l'm relaxed.

-No, l can feel.

-So can l.

You can?

-What are you doing?

-Testing.

l thank you.

Seems to me l need this more every year.

-You're aging fast, that's all.

-You can say that again.

All right, l will. You're aging fast, that's all.

And you're helping.

Done.

l thank you.

There ought to be news on the radio.

You want to hear it?

lf it's good news, yep.

-Sorry.

-l'll do my best.

Why don't they have all the good news

on one station...

and all the bad news on another station?

Wouldn't that be good?

l guess nobody ever thought of it.

l got the station with the bad news.

Getting awfully popular, Kip's song.

-l hear it everywhere.

-So do l.

l hear it sometimes

even when it isn't playing.

What's the matter?

Don't you want your rubdown?

What, are you sore about a little slap?

-No.

-Well, what, then?

You meant that, didn't you?

You really meant that.

-Why, no, l--

-Yes, you did. l know your touch.

-l know a slap from a slug!

-Okay.

l'm not so sure it is.

l'm not so sure l care to expose myself...

to typical, instinctive masculine brutality!

-Oh, come now!

-lt felt not only as if you meant it...

but as though you felt you had a right to.

-l can tell.

-You got radar equipment back there?

You're really sore at me, aren't you?

Oh, don't be ''diriculous'', ridiculous.

-There. Proves it.

-All right!

All right, l am sore! What about it?

-Why are you?

-You know why.

You mean Kip?

Just because he's having a little fun?

No, because you're having fun.

The wrong kind, down in that courtroom.

Rate this script:4.0 / 2 votes