Afonya

Mosfilm

- Watch it!

- Cut!

Cut!

What do you want, comrade?

- Wha..?

- What do you want?

- Afonya.

- Who's Afonya?

Borschov. I've been waiting

for him for 2 hours!

Plow the land I will!

Till the land I will!

CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE

Siphon block broke down.

No end of hassle now!

Have to get my pay before 15.00.

It's a quarter to.

Borschov! I'll add up sewage

maintenance for you!

Sure thing. I'm in no mood

to beaver away for free.

And the fountain!

- Haven't got one.

- What about matches?

- I don't smoke.

- Too bad for you.

- One kick less.

- Borschov!

- Do you have a conscience?

- I've loads of conscience.

Time is what I don't have.

AFONYA:

Starring Leonid Kuravlev

Cast:

Katya - Yevgenia Simonova

Kolya - Yevgeny Leonov

Fidget - Savely Kramarov

Elena - Nina Maslova

Fedul - Borislav Brondukov

BUILDING ADMINISTRATION:

UTILITIES MANAGEMENT No2

CASHIER DESK:

Borschov! Come back after 16.00.

Milya Christoforovna, please!

Need to take him for an injection.

He sticks with me like an orphan.

- What orphan?

- My nephew.

They sent him here from the village

for medical treatment.

- What's with him?

- Don't know.

Nobody knows. The poor little dot

can't stop shaking.

There he is!

Fedulov!

Fedulov!

- She spotted me. What'd ya want?

- Get back to work!

Doesn't he have

a legal lunch break?

He's been on lunch break

since 10 a.m.!

- Get back to work this very minute!

- Told ya we'd better go to 'Daisy'.

Coming!

A Georgy Danelia film.

This table free?

Gee, it's damn hot.

That roach?

Caspian.

Fresh?

Be my guest.

Gimme yours.

- I can't.

- Why not?

I'm allergic to it. It's a health

problem.

- I get skin rash.

- 10 grams.

- I can't!

- One drop?

- I said I can't!

- Half a drop.

For the smell of it.

Right into the snowstorm

We will daringly dash!

And onward we will drive

our sleigh...

You happy with your life?

Can't blame it.

What about yourself?

- Na.

- Too bad.

Why?

I take a philosophical approach

to it.

Philosophically I'm not too happy

with it either.

White geese paddled to Marusya...

Shoo, geese! Fly on...

Dig this!

BORSCHOV - PLUMBING MECHANIC

I've been hanging here into

my second week.

Come on in!

How about playing some good old

dominoes?

Where do you think you're going?

Gonna wipe my feet.

No need to!

Hello there. I'm Kolya.

Who's that?

Meet my friend Kolya.

I'm asking you:
who is that?

What is your surname?

- I forgot.

- You have to remember.

- I can't.

- See how you end up?

You bring home god knows who.

What if he's an easy rider?

Or a wanted criminal?

Did you check his papers?

Mister!

I want to see your passport.

Borschov, I've been waiting

for you for 3 hours.

You've been hanging around

hell knows where.

Scam!

What now...

Kolya's gone...

God!

Alcoholic.

What's wrong with downing

a shot on pay day!

Pay day my ass!

I bought you perfume.

'Moscow'.

Not there.

I clearly remember buying it.

You drank it up. With Kolya.

You've ruined my life, Borschov!

- Here we go again...

- Yes... Yes...

'Here we go again'.

I've wasted 2 years of my life

on you.

Thought we'd get married

and live like all normal people do.

I... Hiccup, hiccup,

for Fedot you stick up,

then jump on to Jacob,

then on to Mike,

then to anyone you like.

You are a bastard, Borschov.

Bastard.

Get back here!

I said, get back here!

She thought..!

- What's the next stop?

- 'Profsoyuznaya'.

Belikov.

Feel my forehead. Am I running

a fever?

It's room temperature.

Murad, you feel it.

You need to cut down on your

drinking. My uncle Abdullah is 76.

Last year he won 3rd class in chess.

What do I care about this

Abdullah of yours.

Say, uncle Pasha, can I borrow

They paid out the wage advance

only yesterday.

- Need to run to the polyclinic.

- No way.

Cm'on, I quit.

Hey everyone!

We've a group of technical school

apprentices here!

Come in, feel yourselves at home.

But don't forget you're visiting.

Oh, it's only Borschov.

The rest are nice people basically.

I'll allocate you to your sections,

and our mechanics will show

what you theoretically know.

Not a bad rhyme.

Avdeyev and Buryak.

Your tutor will be Belikov.

He'll teach you to lose wrenches.

God! Rakhimov takes Kim,

Krivonos and Bubnov.

Uncle Pasha Shevchenko takes

Vasilyev, Ivanov and Sedin.

Hello.

- Well, good luck!

- The hell with it!

Well, get to know each other better.

Where're my guys?

Guys. Not so fast!

Don't get to know each other

better!

Lyudmila Ivanovna, and what about

me?

- What about you?

- Any students for me?

No students left. They ran out.

What'd you mean, ran out?

There's 8 of them.

Makes 2 for each of us.

- That's not what I think.

- Why?

Because.

Sure, if a person went wrong once, -

he's in for a life-long thrashing.

You work your guts out -

and you don't get no students.

Lyudmila Ivanovna...

I've been Lyudmila Ivanovna

for 40 years now. So?

All right. No students it shall be.

- But what matters is the truth.

- What truth?

Look at yourself in the mirror!

give you more than 26!

You two beer fans?

When it gets hot.

Heat or no heat -

don't even think about it at work!

My apprentice students.

Boy, it's hot!

Borschov!

You still here?! There's been

an accident. They called 3 times!

Albert Petrovich! How's it going?

Can't blame it.

They've forced these students

on me here. Have to teach'em.

Stop! This way.

What's this here?

- A tap.

- I can see that. What kind?

- It's to water.

- Good. It's a watering tap!

And what comes out of this tap?

- Water.

- Sure as hell it's not beer.

A spurt of water as thin as a match

ends up in a leakage of

Comrade mechanic!

- Over here! The 9th floor!

- On my way!

Wait a second, Afanasy Nikolayevich.

I'll wind the tap closed.

Wait! This is Belikov's sector.

He's got his own students.

Cm'on!

Semyon! Start the elevator!

Need to get to the 9th floor!

Can't do that.

Come back after lunch.

Outrageous! He's been fixing it

for 3 days.

Right, we'll come back after lunch.

Afanasy Nikolayevich, water's

flooding the apartment up there.

- Wrench!

- I only twisted it slightly, and...

'Twisted it'! Wrench! Hurry up!

Give him the wrench!

All I needed is this pain

in the ass.

Where do you work anyways,

Archimedes?

In the planetarium.

What if I'd tried to twist one

of your microscopes?

- A catastrophe.

- See what I mean? Cm'on, wiseguys.

Well, grandpa, I turned off your

water main.

And don't you attempt to open

the main tap.

When'll you open it?

Hell knows. There're no 'o' rings

at the warehouse.

- What am I supposed to do?

- Think!

You're an astronomer, aren't you?

- Maybe you could get one someplace?

- Where would I get it?

- I'm no Magic Gold Fish.

- I'll be much obliged.

Get me my magic case, Vova.

Think I had something like that

in store. Just one.

My own personal one.

Cost me 2.80. It's made in Japan.

There.

- Sly dog!

- Who, me?

We'd rather like milk soup

and potato cutlets.

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