Alexander's Ragtime Band Page #4

Come on.

All right. Come on. Let's hit it.

Don't let him think we're too anxious.

- You'll like New York.

- Oh, I know I will.

Henri, your chef, is a

great friend of mine.

No food like his in the world.

He's cooked me some baby lobsters.

Won't you share them with me?

Oh, no, thank you. Thank you.

Mm! Superb. My compliments to Henri.

Thank you, sir. He'll be pleased, I'm sure.

Oh, I'm sorry, I must be going.

I've got to tell Mr. Alexander.

Excuse me, please.

Take over for me, Charlie.

- What did he say?

- He wants me to go to New York!

- What did he say?

- He wants me to go to New York!

- New York?

- Uh-huh.

He's gonna make me a star.

Oh, darling, isn't that the most wonderful

thing you ever heard?

- Everything you've wanted for me.

- What about the band?

He says he can't use the band right now but

I know he'll find a place for you later.

Oh, isn't it marvelous?

I can't believe it's true.

Pinch me.

Then you really are going?

Of course.

This is the biggest chance I'll ever get.

Oh, that's swell for you, Stella.

She might at least

have talked to me about it first.

Not just go and say yes

without even thinking about us.

Oh, but Alex, this isn't going to

make any difference with us.

We can still be together.

You can come on to New York with me

and I know Dillingham

will find a place for you before long.

Oh, yeah. That'd just be great.

But you told me over and over again that I

could make something of myself if I tried.

And now that it's happened,

you're all burned up.

I should have known better

than to expect anything from you.

Oh, Alec!

Well, of all the selfish

little tinhorn sports.

You're jealous

because he wants me and not you.

- Now, Stella...

- Well, just remember,

I didn't want to go

with your band in the first place.

And all that polishing and molding -

you weren't doing that for me.

You were doing that for yourself,

just because you thought

it would help you get ahead.

And now that it's backfired and helped me,

you're yelling murder.

- All right. Go on. Get out!

- Alex...

- Go to New York! Go with him!

- Don't think you wouldn't do the same...

Stella!

Alec!

Don't leave her like that.

Go back and tell her you're wrong

before it's too late.

Siding in with her again, hey?

I'm wrong and she's right.

Sure. You don't own Stella.

You can't order her around.

She has a right to decide for herself.

She doesn't owe this band a thing.

We're liable to be stuck here

for the rest of our lives.

- Is that the way you feel about it?

- Exactly.

Well, then what are you sticking around

for? Why don't you clear out, too?

That's a good idea.

Well, maestro, when does Alexander's

Ragtime Band hit Broadway?

There isn't any Alexander's Ragtime Band.

There isn't any Alexander's Ragtime Band.

What?

Left... turn.

Left... turn.

Platoon halt!

Just what did you do

before you joined up in this man's army?

- I was an orchestra leader, sir.

- Yeah, I was a drummer. We had a swell...

About face.

Left turn.

There ought to be such a thing

as being too proud to knit.

- Boy, I'm dying.

- I'm dead.

- What'd happen if we resigned?

- We'd get shot.

It'd be a pleasure.

Of course, if we'd have been

smart enough to get in the Navy...

- Listen to this. "Boom Boom a sellout."

- What's Boom Boom?

That's a show the Navy's putting on

in New York.

Pretty soft for those swabs.

No more guard duty, no more

bayonet drill. No more sore feet.

Why didn't we go in the Navy?

- A show in New York?

- Yeah.

Let me see that.

Theatricals? You're crazy.

- I told them it was no use.

- Ridiculous, I said.

I said this wasn't the theater.

They're in the Army now.

- But the Navy did it, sir.

- The Navy.

- They have time for such tomfoolery.

- Besides, they have the talent.

Talent in the Navy? Nonsense!

If you can find talent in the Navy,

you can find it anywhere.

Right here in this camp.

All right. Go ahead.

Thank you, sir.

- Everybody on stage.

- Everybody on stage.

On stage, you fellas.

- Come on, you!

- On stage, everybody!

If the Navy show can run a week

on Broadway, we can run a month.

And we'll do it.

Our train leaves tomorrow

at 6 am, for New York.

Attention!

- Colonel Roberts.

- At ease, men. At ease.

Give me a hand.

Now remember, men, when you go on that

stage in New York City on Sunday night,

the honor of the Army will be at stake.

So give it to 'em, boys.

Give 'em everything you've got.

Let's go over the top

and beat the pants off the Navy!

Three cheers for the Army!

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Army!

Come on, fellas! You greaseballs.

Come on, you hobnail heroes!

Come on, get out of there!

Wake up, sleeping beauty!

- Rise and shine!

- Yeah, I'll go, I'll go.

Hit the deck! Everybody outside!

- How about a cigarette?

- Righto, Colonel.

- Get Captain Davis.

- Yes, sir.

Oh, but I've got to see him.

I tell you, it's terribly important.

Well, I'll tell him you're here.

Will you wait out there?

Sergeant, there's a Miss Kirby

at the stage door to see you.

- Who?

- Miss Stella Kirby.

Tell her I'm busy.

- Sergeant Alexander!

- Yes, sir?

Assemble your entire company

on stage immediately.

- Yes, sir. Corporal! Everybody on stage.

- Everybody on stage!

Everybody on stage!

Everybody on stage!

- Get out of here.

- We're not in this act.

You think you ain't.

You're in the Army now.

I said everybody on

stage, and right now.

- Everybody on stage, tout de suite.

- Aw, get out. We got 15 minutes.

I said tout de suite.

And them's orders... sister.

I wonder what this is all about?

Men, we cut the first and second scenes

out of the last act.

Go right into the finale.

Now, there's a change of business, too.

Instead of going down the side aisles

and coming back to center,

boarding the transport on the stage

as we rehearsed it,

at the beginning of the second verse,

we march down the center aisle

in a column of twos.

Keep right on going to the trucks outside

that are waiting to transport us

to the docks.

All you men will report to your

respective organizations on boarding ship.

Strike this set. Get ready for the finale.

- I know it, I know it. We're going overseas.

- Overseas?

I can't go now.

I'm coming up for exemption next week.

Well, you just write a nice, long letter

to Uncle Sam and tell him all about it.

Oh, shut up.

- This is certainly along intermission.

- Yes, I wonder what's delaying the show?

Program says eight minutes.

More like half an hour.

- Attention!

- Maybe that's it now.

- So long, boys. I'll see you later.

- So long.

Forward... right!

- Goodbye! We're going to France.

- No!

Alex! Alex!

Alex!

All right, folks. That's all

until tomorrow morning at 8:00.

Clear the stage. Everybody

except Miss Kirby, clear the stage.

All right, boys.

You can get your picture now.

Please give the boys a picture.

How about leaning against the piano,

Miss Kirby?

All right boys, set 'em up.

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