Alexander's Ragtime Band Page #6

Oh, I suppose so.

I thought I was over it, but...

Oh, I don't know. I guess you

can't turn those things off and on.

No. Course not.

That's what I'm getting at.

- Oh, but Charlie...

- No buts about it.

I'm a lucky guy

to have had you as long as I have.

I'm grateful for every minute of it.

But I want you to be happy.

Now, now, now, now.

Don't go feminine all of a sudden.

Just keep your mind clear.

Go get a nice, quick, cheap divorce.

I'll make the alimony light on you.

And if you need any witnesses,

I can arrange that, too.

And you two hotheads

can pick up where you left off.

You haven't left me with a word to say.

That's good.

People talk too much anyhow.

Now will you change your mind

about that highball?

Yes, I will.

And a great, big one.

- Hey, Stella!

- Bill!

What do you know about this?

I've been wishing you would show up.

This makes it unanimous.

- Hey, you look positively handsome.

- I'm dressed up for the party.

- Party?

- Sure. Come on!

- Stella!

- Davey!

Oh, I'm so glad to see you.

Boy, are you terrific! You look like

you were born on Fifth Avenue.

You look pretty swell yourself.

How've you been, anyhow?

Never better. And where's

that old son of a gun Charlie?

- I ain't seen him in years and years.

- He's out of town.

Oh, that's a shame. He's the only one

of the old gang that's not here.

Well, come on! This calls for a drink.

Attention, everybody!

Our own personal gift to Broadway,

Stella Kirby.

It's like old home week, isn't it, maestro?

Just in time for the celebration.

Won't you sit down?

- Uh, Miss Allen, Mrs. Dwyer.

- How do you do?

- How's Charlie, Stella?

- Oh, fine, thanks.

That's good.

- Stella Kirby!

- Hello, Stella.

- Oh, don't you look elegant!

- Oh, thanks, Ruby.

Yeah, Stell, she hooked me at last.

I like that! After the way you ran after me

begging me to marry you!

- You two are married?

- Uh-huh!

Ah, that's what the celebration was for!

Oh, congratulations.

That's not the only thing

we're celebrating.

We're all leaving

for Europe tonight.

We're going to Paris and London

and everywhere.

Yeah, we're just getting ready

to get poured on the boat.

- You're leaving for Europe?

- Yep.

One of those horseshoes finally hit us

and we landed a contract.

Oh, that's wonderful.

But it's rather sudden, isn't it?

Well, they needed an American jazz band

in a hurry, and we were just lucky.

Oh, lucky nothing!

Why, he's got the hottest band in town.

And you should hear her sing.

- You're with the band?

- Yes, I am.

- She took your place. Didn't she, Alec?

- Oh, Jerry's great. One of the best.

Yeah, we wanted to make it

a double wedding yesterday,

but Alec was too busy seeing about

passports. Weren't you, Alec?

We almost called the trip off after

we got a look at our passport pictures.

The boys look like gangsters

and I look like a washed-out moll.

Say, a couple of friends of mine from

the press want you to give 'em a story

about Alexander's Ragtime Band.

Oh, it'll only take you a minute.

They're just sitting right over there

and it'll be good publicity for the speak.

Sure. All right.

Will you excuse me?

You better hurry and get your drinking

done. We got less than an hour.

Yeah, hurry up, everybody.

- Sorry I missed hearing you sing.

- Thank you.

I enjoyed your show very much.

- How long have you been with the band?

- Ever since they started.

In fact, I was one of the charter members.

Then you must have met Alex

soon after he came back from the war.

Yes. He was still in

somewhat of a daze from it.

I stepped in

and sort of helped him snap out of it.

- That was very fortunate for him.

- Yeah, and for me too.

Let me tell you something, Stella.

There's one swell girl.

Why, everything Alec is now,

he owes to her.

You know how Alec is. Moody and funny.

And when he found out

that you and Charlie were married,

well, after all,

that was kind of a sock on the nose.

Why, if it hadn't been for Jerry, he might

have turned into a no-good tramp.

But she caught him just in time.

And now look at him!

On his way to Paris!

Compliments of the party

over in the corner.

They wanna know

if you'll sing a little song for them.

- You know that one you did Sunday night?

- I'm on a vacation.

They're big spenders.

They're sure gonna be disappointed.

- Sorry. Not tonight.

- Oh, please do. I'd love to hear you.

- All right, Bill.

- Thanks.

All right, hold it. Hold it. Hold it.

Get "Blue Skies" ready.

Ladies and gentlemen!

This little lady, before leaving

for Paris, France and abroad tonight,

is going to favor us

with a beautiful ballad

one that I know that

you'll all enjoy as much as I have.

And that's saying a lot

'cause I've heard 'em all.

So here goes, folks! The one and only,

the tops, Miss Jerry Allen!

Ladies and gentlemen, we have

a great celebrity with us here tonight.

I want you all to meet her.

Miss Stella Kirby!

Sing!

Come on, Stella, sing!

Come on, Stella.

Come on, come on!

Come on, everybody sing!

( "Pack Up Your Sins

Sorry to keep you waiting, Stella.

Mac, I'm leaving the show.

- You're what?

- I can't continue on.

You're tired.

You've been on the road for ten weeks.

But you're in Chicago now.

We should have along run.

In another week,

you'll feel like a new person.

Oh, no. It's more than that.

I'm only messing things up

and ruining the show.

I just can't stay on, I tell you.

But Mr. Dillingham

has great plans for you, Stella.

You can't throw opportunities

away like this.

I'm an old hand at throwing things away.

Stella, this is something

that I can't decide.

Mr. Dillingham will have to do that.

You wait here.

I'm going to get him.

Gesundheit. I'm gonna take you home,

put your feet in mustard water

and give you a good dose of castor oil.

Over my dead body.

I knew you were crazy

wanting to walk in this rain.

Come on, get out of the wet.

There'll be a taxi along in a minute.

Someday I'm gonna

take a good sock at you.

Go ahead. Right on the button.

Jerry.

Let's get married.

Have you got a fever?

You sound delirious.

No, I mean it. Now, tonight.

Oh, no, thanks.

You really don't wanna marry me.

You're just trying to

avoid the bachelor tax.

- Don't you think we'd hit it off together?

- Course. We always have.

- Then why not?

- Because you're not in love with me, Alex.

I used to think you might be, someday.

But I was wrong.

- You mean an awful lot to me, Jerry.

- I know I do.

But that's not enough to marry on.

Oh, I'm not complaining

and I'm not asking for a thing.

When this is over, it'll be over.

There'll be no weeping at the bar,

as far as I'm concerned.

Just remember that.

You think much too straight for me, Jerry.

Like the rest of you modern, clever women.

Come on, here comes a cab. You can't talk

yourself out of taking that castor oil.

Oh, Mr. Alexander!

May I have your autograph?

Certainly.

It's a shame to bother you like this.

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