Ali's Wedding Page #2

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And I know who you are, Dianne.

You're the daughter

of the fish and chip man.

Thanks. It's how I like to be remembered.

Just put it on the account, will you?

- Hooroo!

- Sayonara!

Salaam alaikum!

You idiots. You just ruined it for me.

Yeah, I ruined it for you.

It wasn't the Saddam voice

that killed it.

- You need to get married, like me.

- You got married by mistake.

- Did you knock her up?

- It's a damn tea ceremony.

It's a minefield.

Turks do it different to Persians.

They do it different to us.

- How do you guys do it?

- It doesn't matter. The sex is the same.

Unbelievable, man.

And my wife reckons

I'm starting to get the hang of it.

You animal.

Retroperitoneal...

Baba?

- Thinking about your big exam?

- Of course.

I found this.

Hassan's initials.

I put it on when

he won the math prize in Abadan.

I remember that.

He would have made a great doctor.

It may not bring you luck,

but it might bring you comfort.

Come. Breakfast.

Cinema? Are you crazy?

It's genius!

We join a random family

and sit next to their daughters.

What if the film is no good?

Who cares about the film? Girls!

Ali, look at what I found!

[land mine clicks[

Ali!

Charlie.

Hey.

You never told me you were doing medicine.

Didn't know I needed your permission.

No, I mean we could have studied together.

Pst.

I got your Chupa Chups in.

I'm about to do a seven-hour exam.

Stop talking.

Ali.

Hey, Luay.

Good luck.

Yeah, you too.

Baba habib.

My leader,

you are gracious to spare this time.

- For such a foolish man.

- Please, Hajjina.

Ali will serve as witness.

What are you doing?

That's my racket, you idiot.

We must all take a leaf

out of this family's book.

Your children have self-respect.

This houseis exactly

as we have come to know of the Prophet.

We are all beneath God's wide...

generous shadow, but...

Please.

- To your issue.

- Sheikhna.

The last day of Ramadan,

I coached soccer all day.

No water, no food. 100 degrees.

And I come home

and she has burnt the lamb.

The baklava is like concrete.

Tea, Haj?

Even within this house

there is the occasional angry word.

No, my leader.

In my anger, I divorced her three times.

- You said the words three times?

- More.

It was more.

Unfortunately,

you are from theHanafi faith

and once you say to God,

"I divorce my wife," three times...

there is no going back.

I lostthe most beautiful woman

in the world

over a piece of baklava.

To be clear.

When you uttered the words,

"I divorce you,"

did you say, "I divorce you,"

and then have a shower?

And then come out and say it again?

And take a walk,

and say it again for a third time?

I said it all in one terrible moment,

that will haunt me for eternity.

So, it was one thought.

A continuum.

A singularity.

What do you mean, my leader?

In soccer, when Ali kicks a goal,

the crowd cry, "Goal, goal, goal!"

But how many goals has Ali kicked?

- One.

- One thought.

One divorce.

Go to your wife

and commit to her with all your heart.

Even to the baklava.

You have saved my family.

May you grow in his shadow

and guide us all,

and with a good wife by your side.

See you at rehearsals, Ali.

Sheikh has once again saved my life

Now I get to go back to my wife

Can you make your own laws, Dad?

Believe me.

Even the Prophet

would not have wanted a divorce.

No man is complete without marriage.

But tell me.

How was your exam?

Good.

- You got a top mark?

- Guaranteed.

Have you told Dad you're f***ed?

You won't even get 80, man.

You don't know that for sure.

I answered all the questions.

You know I love you, bro?

Stop pretending

you're like the old man.

You and I both know

we'll never be as good as him.

Johnno, you f***ing d*ckhead.

You're cleaning that, a**hole.

Mohammed.

This is my job, Dad.

I have to speak Australian.

Get me the f***ing keys

to the car you were meant to put there.

Please.

Dad.

We're meant to believe in miracles?

They do happen?

There is a riddle.

A bridge is about to collapse.

Any weight, it would crumble...

What is this?

Your temporary transport.

Hey, mate. Don't put it in.

Please God, prove your existence.

Hey, Ali.

Ali, hurry.

Seyyed Ghaffar has thrown a barbecue party

for his son.

Young Luay got 96 for his exam!

96.2. But what is a number?

I'm sure your family will throw

an even bigger celebration.

I have to speak to my father.

Is he inside?

Our leader is giving brother Qais comfort.

Marital problems.

- Finally, someone who's not a taxi driver.

- Please.

My son and I are merely slaves of God.

If my son becomes a doctor,

and serves this community,

it is not because of my genes

or my endless hours of schooling.

It is...

Him.

Ali. My good friend.

University of Melbourne,

here we come.

96.2, huh?

Maybe we should not be so vocal

in our celebration.

We must remember,

not all can bask under God's glory

I bet you Ali did extremely well.

- I bet the same.

- If the Prophet hadn't banned gambling...

I would bet my entire house

that Ali would have a higher score

than Luay.

So...

- Enlighten us, Ali.

- Come on, Ali. Tell us.

- The suspense is tingling me.

- Let's hear it.

There is no man alive

smarter than his father.

Maybe only his son.

I got 96 also.

Point 4.

I would have won a house.

Baba.

What is this I hear?

What is this they are saying

at the mosque?

Ninety-six point four.

Praise be to God.

Ninety-six point four!

I was worried you'd struggle to get 90.

All the years fighting in the war,

dragging my family

from one hell to another...

My dumb brother is a genius.

My brother's a genius. A genius.

My dumb brother's a genius.

Handsome son.

- You are too gorgeous to be a doctor.

- Yes? I'm with him now.

Here's to rid the evil eye.

Mum.

We have also ordered a dozen sheep

from the abattoir, as an offering.

Oh, no.

I don't want the sheep to die

for no reason.

- No reason?

- Free them instead.

Wait until everyone hears back home.

Hears that my son is finally a doctor.

Where's my brother, Ali?

You'll find him in the library

- You'll find him in the library

- Guys, just one second.

Please, be quiet.

Be quiet!

I don't want to make a big deal

out of this.

You, no fuss. No fuss.

The next student isJamal Hilfi.

Unbelievable, man.

I thought you were as dumb as me.

I got 68.9.

Your father must be over the moon.

...accepted into the paramedic course.

Paramedic may sound like a fancy name

for nurses driving vans,

but more important

is that we serve the Almighty Creator.

Next to sit the entrance exam,

this humble slave's very own son, Luay.

A score of 96.2.

And easily accepted into medicine

at Melbourne University.

Luay, you are his holy seed.

Next on the list is AyoobMaithan.

Oh dear.

Ayoob... with a score of 68.9.

No gift for you, Ayoob.

Some of our sisters are on the list too,

and one of them has achieved a...

reasonable score.

Indeed. 99.1.

Wow. Mashallah. Praise be to God.

She's also been accepted into medicine

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