Alice's Adventures in Wonderland Page #2

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No, I suppose|he must've--

Oh! Why, what peculiar|little figures.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum.

If you think we're waxworks,|you ought to pay, you know.

Contrary to wax, if you think|we're alive, you ought to speak to us.

- That's logic.|- Well, it's been nice meeting you.

Goodbye.

You're beginning backwards.

Aye, the first thing|in a visit is to say:

How do you do and shake hands|Shake hands, shake hands

How do you do and shake hands|and state your name and business

- That's manners.|- Really?

Well, my name is Alice, and I'm|following a white rabbit, so--

-No, you can't go yet.|-No, the visit has just started.

- I'm very sorry.|- Would you like to play hide-and-seek?

- Or "Button, button,|who's got the button"?|- No, thank you.

If you stay long enough,|we might have a battle.

That's very kind of you,|but I must be going.

- Why?|- Because I'm following a white rabbit.

- Why?|- Well, I-I'm curious to know|where he's going.

Oh, she's curious.

The oysters were curious,|too, weren't they?

Aye, and you remember|what happened to them.

- Poor things.|- Poor things.

Why? What did happen|to the oysters?

- Oh, you wouldn't be interested.|- Oh, but I am.

No, no, you're in|much too much of a hurry.

- Well, perhaps I could|spare a little time.|- You could?

Well!

"The Walrus|and the Carpenter."

Or "The Story of|the Curious Oysters."

The sun was shining on the sea|Shining with all its might

He did his very best to make|the billows smooth and bright

And this was odd|because it was

The middle of the night

The walrus|and the carpenter

Were walking close at hand

The beach was wide|from side to side

But much too full of sand

Mr Walrus|said the carpenter

My brain begins to perk

We'll sweep this clear|in half a year

If you don't mind the work

Work!

- Th-The time has come|- The walrus said

To talk of other things:|Of shoes and ships and sealing wax

And cabbages and kings

And why the sea is boiling hot|and whether pigs have wings

Calloo, callay|No work today

We're cabbages and kings

Oh, uh, oysters, come out|and walk with us.

The day is warm and bright.

A pleasant walk,|a pleasant talk,

would be a sheer delight.

Yes, and should we|get hungry on the way,

we'll stop and, uh,|have a bite.

But Mother Oyster|winked her eye

And shook her heavy head

She knew too well|this was no time

To leave her oyster bed

The sea is nice|Take my advice

- And stay right here|- Mum said

Yes, yes, of course, of course,|but, uh, ha-ha!

The time has come|my little friends

To talk of other things

Of shoes and ships and sealing|wax, of cabbages and kings

And why the sea is boiling hot|and, uh, whether pigs have wings

Calloo, callay|Come run away

With cabbages and kings

Well, now, uh,|let me see.

Ah! A loaf of bread|is what we chiefly need.

Listen, how 'bout some pepper|and salt and vinegar, eh?

Well, yes, yes. Splendid idea.|Ha-ha. Very good indeed.

Now, if you're ready,

oysters, dear,

we can begin the feed.

- Feed?|- Oh, yes. Uh--

The time has come my little friends|to talk of food and things

Of peppercorns and mustard seed|and other seasonings

We'll mix 'em all together|in a sauce that's fit for kings

Calloo, callay|We'll eat today

Like cabbages and kings

I, uh-- I-I weep for you.

I-- Oh, excuse me.|I deeply sympathize.

For I've enjoyed|your company...

oh, much more|than you realize.

Little oysters.|Little oysters.

But answer there came none

And this was scarcely|odd because

They'd been eaten, every one

Well, uh--

The time has come!

With cabbages

And kings

- The end.|- That was a very sad story.

Aye, and there's|a moral to it.

Oh, yes, a very good moral,|if you happen to be an oyster.

- Well, it's been a very nice visit--|- Another recitation.

- I'm sorry, but--|- Entitled "Father William."

- But really, I'm--|- First verse.

You are old, Father William|the young man said

And your hair|has become very white

And yet you incessantly|stand on your head

Do you think at your age|it is right, it's right

Do you think at your age|it is right

Well, in me youth Father William|replied to his son

I'd do it again|and again and again

And I've done it again|and again and again

I wonder who lives here.

Mary Ann! Oh, drat that girl.|Where could she have put them?

- Mary Ann!|- The rabbit!

Mary Ann!

No use! Can't wait! I'm awfully late.|Oh, me. Oh, my. Oh, me. Oh, my.

Excuse me, sir, but--|but I've been trying to--

Why, Mary Ann!|What are you doing out here?

- Mary Ann?|- Don't just do something.|Stand there. No, no! Go, go!

- Go get my gloves. I'm late!|- But late for what?

- That's just what I--|- My gloves!

- At once! Do you hear?|- Goodness.

I suppose I'll be taking|orders from Dinah next.

Hmm. Now let me see.

If I were a rabbit, where|would I keep my gloves?

Oh! Thank you.

Don't mind if I do.

Oh, no, no, not again.

Oh! Mary Ann!

Now you see here,|Mary Ann. Help!

I need help!|Whoo-hoo! Ha! Oh!

No! Help!

Monster! Help! Assistance!

- Oh, dear.|- A monster! A monster, Dodo!

- In my house, Dodo. Oh,|my poor little-bitty house.|- The dodo.

Steady. Steady, old chap. Can't|be as bad as all that, you know.

Oh, my poor roof and rafters.|All my walls and-- There it is!

By Jove!|Jolly well is, isn't it?

Well, do something, Doo-doo.

Yes, indeed. An extraordinary|situation, but, uh--

But, but, but, but, but what?

But I have a very|simple solution.

- Thank goodness.|- W-W-W-What is it?

- Simply pull it out the chimney.|- Yes, g-g-go on, go on. Pull it out.

Who, me?|Don't be ridiculous.

What we need is a-- Uh--

- A lizard with a ladder!|- Hmm? Oh! Bill!

Bill! We need a lazard with|a lidder-- A lidder-- A b-b-b---

- Can you help us?|- At your service, governor.

Bill, me lad, have you|ever been down a chimney?

Why, governor, I've been|down more chimneys--

Excellent, excellent.|You just pop down the chimney...

and haul that monster|out of there.

Right-o, governor.|Monster?

Steady now. There.|That's better.

Bill, lad, you're passing up|a golden opportunity.

- I am?|- You can be famous.

- I can?|- Of course!

There's a brave lad.|In you go now.

Nothing to it, old boy.|Simply tie your tail...

around the monster's neck|and drag it out.

- B-But-But, governor--|- Good luck, Bill.

Well, there goes Bill.

- Poor Bill.|- Uh,

perhaps we should try|a-a more energetic remedy.

Yes! Anything, anything.|But hurry!

Oh, I-I propose|that we, uh--

- Yes, go on, go on. Yes, yes.|- I propose we, uh--

Oh!

By Jove! That's it.|We'll burn the house down.

Yes. Burn the house-- What?

- Oh, no.|- Oh-ho-ho!

Oh, we'll smoke|the blighter out

We'll put the beast to rout

Some kindling|A stick or two

Ah, this bit of rubbish|ought to do

- Oh, dear|- We'll smoke the blighter out

- We'll smoke the monster out|- No, no! Not my beautiful bird house!

Oh, we'll roast|the blighter's toes

We'll toast|the bounder's nose

Just fetch that gate|We'll make it clear

- That monsters aren't welcome here|- Oh, dear. Oh, me, oh, my.

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