Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore Page #2

TOMMY:
Mom, I feel it coming.

ALICE:
Okay.

All right. Get the door open.

ALICE:
Stick your head out the window.

TOMMY:
It's all right.

ALICE:
You don't want me to stop?

TOMMY:
No.

I feel it again.

Okay. All right, honey.

Just hold on. Aim it out the door.

All right. No, I'm all right.

ALICE:
You don't want me to stop?

TOMMY:
No. We'll get to Monterey sooner.

Mom, are we in Arizona yet?

If you ask me that one more time,

I'll beat you to death.

Just sit back there, relax, and enjoy life.

-Life is short.

-So are you.

-Mom, I'm bored.

-So am I!

What do you want from me, card tricks?

We should be in Phoenix

in about half an hour.

And then we'll,

as my Aunt June used to say...

"get gussied up and

go to a swanky place to eat." How's that?

What?

I said we's gonna go out

amongst them tonight.

What?

What do you mean, what?

What are you, Helen Keller?

I said, try and look decent.

We'll go out and have a good dinner.

-I don't care.

-You're annoying me.

Is this where you're gonna look for a job?

I got to get a new hairdo tomorrow

and buy myself something sexy.

TOMMY:
What if you can't?

ALICE:
What, buy myself something sexy?

TOMMY:
Get a job, dummy.

Don't be rude to your mother.

She just bought you a cheeseburger.

Don't look at me like that. I'll get a job.

Did you love Dad?

Of course I did. What a question.

You don't seem unhappy.

I'm unhappy. What are you talking about?

I'm very unhappy.

I don't have to show all my emotions.

TOMMY:
Because

you used to fight with him so much....

Sure, I fought with him.

He was a pain in the ass sometimes.

-What's going on with you?

-No, Mom, I want to know.

Why did you marry him?

Boy, are you nosy! Will you get in bed?

I'm in bed. Tell me.

Because he was a great kisser.

A great kisser?

That's why you married him?

How great can you kiss?

Ask me again in a couple of years,

I'll let you know.

TOMMY:
Who is it?

ALICE:
Diana Ross.

Are you ready to see a great beauty?

Ta-da!

You really love that joke, don't you?

That's your favorite one.

-Did you bring me a present?

-No, I didn't have time.

Okay. What do you think?

You look good. But is it sexy?

Sexy for Phoenix.

Besides, I'm not applying

at the Boom Boom Room.

-How do you know you can get a job?

-Because I will get one.

-What about when school starts?

-Don't worry about the mule going blind.

What if it gets to be September--

What if it gets to be what?

What's your problem, kid?

What do you want from me?

What's bothering you?

ALICE:
Get over here.

ALICE:
Sit down.

This is what I want you to do, okay?

I want you to make me a list.

I want to see it in writing.

Write it all out, all your problems...

all the things that are wrong

with your life, that can go bad.

Start writing. Write! Write it!

A whole list. All the bad things.

Why aren't you writing? Write!

I'm out there,

spending too much money on clothes...

trying to look like maybe I'm under 30

so somebody will hire me...

and you're sitting in here,

whining like an idiot.

I will get a job, all right?

I will get you to Monterey

before your birthday.

I will get you in school by September.

I swear it!

Shall I open a vein and sign it in blood?

I'm sorry, Tommy.

I know you're upset, too.

You've been taken away from your home...

and your friends, and everything.

When we get to Monterey,

things will be better.

How do you know?

Hey, kid, give me a break.

ALICE:
Act like you got good sense.

ALICE:
Just give me a little time

to make some money...

and everything will be okay. Okay?

Okay.

Okay, honey, I got to get going.

-I'll be back about 5:00 or 6:00, yeah?

-Okay.

ALICE:
All right.

-Will you wish me luck?

-I do, Mom. Good luck.

ALICE:
Club Manhattan.

Quo vadis?

ALICE:
Try this.

-Excuse me, is Joe or Jim in?

-What?

I said, is Joe or Jim here?

I heard what you said.

I just didn't believe it.

-Why not?

-There ain't no Joe or Jim.

ALICE:
What?

BARTENDER:
There's no Joe--

I heard what you said.

I just didn't believe it.

ALICE:
Is the manager or someone in?

We ain't hiring no waitresses.

I'm not a waitress. I'm a singer.

You're a singer?

Is the manager in?

He's in the hospital,

having half a lung removed.

ALICE:
I'm sorry.

BARTENDER:
He wouldn't want no singer.

Thank you. Excuse me,

could you spare a glass of water?

BARTENDER:
Sure.

Are you really a singer?

-Where did you sing?

-In Monterey, in California.

BARTENDER:
What's your name?

ALICE:
Alice Hyatt.

He wouldn't want no singer.

Okay. Thank you.

-Sorry.

-That's okay.

LENNY:
Come on in the back,

I'll introduce you to the boss.

Chicken? Chicken, I want you

to meet Alice.

-Hyatt.

-Mighty nice to meet you, miss.

Hyatt. Miss Hyatt.

-My name is Holliman. Chicken Holliman.

-Glad to meet you.

Would you mind turning around for me?

-Turn around for you? Why?

-I want to look at you.

Look at my face. I don't sing with my ass.

Lenny, what's with this broad?

Hello. Is the manager in?

We don't have a manager.

Just the owner, Mr. Jacobs.

Thank you. Jacobs?

Something I can do for you?

Come on, now. What's the matter?

Marie, bring us two Scotch, rocks.

ALICE:
I'm sorry.

-You trying to ruin my afternoon trade?

-No. Sorry.

JACOBS:
You act like it.

Here, swig on this

and troubles will vanish.

Thank you.

See? What did I tell you?

Now you got money in the bank

and a faithful husband.

Come on. What can I do for you?

You came towards me

with a question mark on your face.

Do you have a Band-Aid?

Marie, see if you got any Band-Aids

down there.

I've been looking for a job all day.

These shoes are new.

I just got them this morning,

and they're giving me a blister.

Thank you.

I'm a singer.

I'm sorry. I got no money to pay a singer.

That's okay. Nobody does.

If I could give you a job, I would do it.

Thank you. You're very kind.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

-I don't even have a piano in here.

-It's okay.

-Come on.

-Thank you.

My husband just died.

-I don't even have a piano in here.

-I know.

I have a little boy I have to raise

all by myself...

and I don't know how I'm gonna do it.

I don't even have a piano in here.

Do you have any experience?

Just before I was married.

JACOBS:
Are you any good?

Look, why don't you

come back tomorrow? Let me sleep on it.

No, you'll say no tomorrow.

If I could just sing for you now....

All right. There's a piano bar

down the street. Come on.

Great. Thanks a lot.

Marie, I'll be back in about 20 minutes.

JACOBS:
Don't burn it down.

The owner said okay.

Just don't scare anybody away.

ALICE:
I won't, I hope.

JACOBS:
Have a go.

ALICE:
Okay.

Is there anything in particular

you'd like to hear? Anything special?

Do you know:

"What's the use of getting married?

"It's only a waste of time

I'd rather sit upon a shelf

"One makes two

when you're talking to yourself

"Never let a girl be master

for the sake of a cuddle and a kiss

"You may have lots of things

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