America's Sweethearts Page #5

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I don't remember.

If I did will you forgive me?

-Sure. Yeah.|-Thanks Kik.

Are you okay?

A couple of hours ago, I'd have said no,|but something happened tonight that was really incredible.

I was out walking by the cottages, and|it was like Gwen was drawing me to her.

I just look over this wall.

There she was, she was standing by the pool,|all dressed in white...

...like an angel in the desert.|I thought to myself:

"That's why you're here.|You're supposed to win her back."

No way she'll stay with Hector.

That's the woman I'm supposed to spend|the rest of my life with.

Really? The woman by the pool?

Gwen.

-That's why I'm here.|-What do you mean?

-Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm are rocking out.|-What are you talking about?

Kiki and Eddie are coming down.

-Why did you say that?|-It's code. It's fun.

I wonder what she wants.

I don't know what she wants.|It'd be good to find out.

I know what I want.

Siegfried and Roy left the building,|heading for the pool.

-Siegfried and Roy are here?|-Not the real Siegfried--

You wanted to play this game, schmuck.

Heads, she never sees me again.|Tails, we get back together.

-You need to flip a coin for that?|-Correct.

Here we go. One, two, three.

-Possum.|-A possible possum.

Wait, not here.

Felix, this is Oscar. The monkey is|in day-care. Repeat, monkey is in day-care.

Your mystery date awaits.

Wish me luck.

Oh, Eddie. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I know you'll never forgive me,|but please, please take me back.

That a gun in your pocket|or are you just happy to see me?

Actually, it's a gun.

-Hello, Eddie.|-Hi, Gwen.

-I've been so worried about you.|-Have you been?

That's how it goes when your wife|shacks up with somebody else.

I've got a lot of anger to deal with.

I understand. Get that out.|Just shake it out. Throw it away.

That's great advice. Thank you.

I know I have no right to ask you this--

-Ask me what?|-When we did the movie...

...did you fool around with anybody?

You're right. You've got no right to ask me that.|And no, for your information I wasn't fooling around.

-The girl who played your daughter?|-Are you out of your mind? What the hell is wrong with you, Gwen?

-You're very hostile.|-I can't imagine why.

This was a big mistake.

-No, it wasn't.|-Yes, it was. Tomorrow...

...let's be professional|and promote this movie...

...because we both need this one|to do well.

I know you do.

And if they ask about the break-up,|we just say that it was a difficult time...

...that we're working through it together.

-And we're still really close, okay?|-Fine.

-Whatever.|-Good.

I have to go.

I see you tomorrow.

You're not....

-Here. There you go.|-Thanks.

That's how junkets go.|It's a great opportunity. I can handle it.

Is this a scene from their new movie,|Time Over Time?

No. That's Gwen Harrison and Eddie|Thomas dancing in the moonlight for real.

-Hard to believe....|-What the hell is going on?

...in a passionate embrace.

Goddamn it!

My life is so stressful.

People have no idea|what it's like being me.

-Did we brush my teeth?|-Yes.

See? I can't even remember that.

Good morning, you two.|Come on, smile. Here we go. Smile.

Ladies and gentlemen, here they are,|Eddie and Gwen, together again!

There they are! America's Sweethearts!

What is this? Only five minutes?

Mention jerking-off and I'll pull your plug,|so to speak.

Five minutes is plenty of time|to talk about a movie I haven't seen.

Yeah, but it's fabulous.

Do you need anything?

-Doesn't she look great?|-Who?

Your sister. She looks incredible.

-Are you trying to make me jealous?|-Is it possible to do that at this point?

Then why care if I try?

Okay, who's happy? Ready to go?

Thanks. Always a pleasure. Here we go.

Byron, it's all yours.

Byron Allen, coming to you|from Entertainment Studios.com.

Strap yourself in,|I'm sitting with America's Sweethearts:

Eddie Thomas and Gwen Harrison.

And are you ready for this?|They're not trying to kill each other.

Are you back together?|You look very comfortable with each other.

I want to be honest with you.|Before I came down from the room...

...l took about half a pound of Vicodin.

I'll be comfortable till late March.

You're funny.|How do you live with him, Gwen?

She doesn't.

She lives with someone else.

It must've been exciting|working with Hal Weidmann.

Were you apprehensive when you started?

Oh, no. No, Hal's brilliant.

He's so easy to work with.

He loves actors.

Just loves actors.

You had a nervous breakdown recently,|didn't you?

What?

Will audiences watch you again without|remembering your attack on Ms. Harrison?

That's five minutes.

Thank you, Dave.

It was so great meeting you guys.|I'm a huge fan.

Lunch?

Why does he get a neck rub?

-I want one.|-He's so tense.

Hello? I have a neck, too.|This thing holding up my head.

And we're back.

-Everybody ready?|-Of course.

Of course.

Hello again, Syracuse.|I'm Mort Josephson, your movie maven.

Ann Arbor, I'm Laura Messinger,|Channel Seven's cinemaniac.

-The popcorn's buttered.|-The lights are dimming.

-It's time to join Bob--|-And Ken.

At the Multiplex.

Eddie and I are great friends.|We talk every day.

Eddie and I are better friends|than we've ever been. We talk two...

...three times a day.

We're just cosmically,|like, spiritually bound.

Eddie's really good...

...and he's my pillar of strength.

It's like Sodom and Gomorrah.|I mean, so strong, you know?

And that's five minutes.

In spite of all the emotion|and the hurting...

...we leaned on each other for support.

That's when I realized how strong...

...our friendship really was.

-We were in constant contact.|-That's right.

I mean, not only are we great friends...

...and not only|are we in constant contact....

You should see some of the phone bills.

We've also done....

I don't know, how should I put this?|Hell, I'll just say it.

We've done a couple of three-ways.

This guy she's with now....

I can't say I'm happy about it.|She's my wife.

But after spending time|in the sack with him...

...l see the attraction.

I have to say, for a fairly big guy...

...he's not packing much|south of the border.

And that's five minutes.|Thank you so much.

Say hi to everybody in Salt Lake.|Good to see you.

Next.

-Hi, guys.|-Hi, guys.

-It wasn't very funny.|-It was a joke.

I do that after 400 interviews.

-Hector won't find it very funny.|-Guess what?

I don't give a sh*t what Hector thinks.

A picture with my baby?

Just smile and shut up.

You have given me 110 percent today.

-Who has? Me?|-You have.

It's been a great day.

-What do you want?|-It has. A small favour.

-45 minutes, an hour.|-No.

-I need you to have dinner with Gwen.|-No.

-It'll be great.|-It won't, because I won't do it.

-You must.|-I'm going to my room.

I'll go into the minibar,|spend time with myself.

We're in deep sh*t. We don't have the film.

Hal's holding the film hostage.|We have nothing! Understand?

But I do have you. You and Gwen.

When you two are together,|the press forgets there's no film.

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