America's Sweethearts Page #7

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You're a genius|beyond my wildest expectations.

The tracking is up.|Spielberg has moved off of our date.

This is good! Hit him!

-Who?|-Anybody.

-I won't fight you!|-Because you're a p*ssy boy.

Because I'm trying to find some peace.

You want peace? Okay, he wants peace.

-P*ssy boy's leaving.|-Don't you do that.

Hector, don't.

Don't tell me, "Don't."

Maybe you want a piece of me, huh?

-You see?|-Okay?

Huh, p*ssy.

There shouldn't be a problem here.

After all...

...you stole my wife and I tried to kill you.|We're pretty much even.

You crumpled duck!

Oh! Dear me!

Go away!

Punk! You hungry?

Eat this, punk! Eat it!

Are you hungry?

I love your work.

Eddie. You forgot something.

-Did you see him go down?|-Shut up.

-Don't tell me to shut up.|-Why did you do that?

I didn't have to do it. I wanted to.

-Just deal with it. In there.|-It was my pleasure.

Did you see that?

-Everybody back, please.|-Eddie, are you okay?

Eddie. Are you okay?

I can feel my nose in the back of my throat.|Is that bad?

Can you hear me?

-Let's all just step back.|-Some ice, please.

I swear to God, Gwen can be just horrible.

How can you love somebody and not like|them at the same time? Seems strange.

-You need to lie down.|-I thought I was lying down.

Why don't we try sitting down?

There we go.

Let me have a look.

-It doesn't look good.|-No?

Cold.

What happened?

I just thought I needed|another humiliating photo op.

I tried to walk away,|but the guy just kept pushing.

So I hit him in the tray with my face.|I should've just walked away.

For some reason these days,|I always do the stupid thing.

This doesn't look good.

-What was that?|-Another stupid thing.

Stupid and maybe verging on crazy or....

It's fine....

There he is. The master!

I'll have whatever he's having.

I have to say,|you have completely outdone yourself.

In 24 hours,|you've given us a walk in the woods...

...a romantic dinner and a fistfight.

I can't wait to see what happens next.

Maybe I can get him to commit suicide.|Would you like that?

I don't know. Let me think about it.

It won't help the initial release,|but the video will rent like crazy.

We could do a box like a coffin.

Yeah. That's good. No, wait.

Imagine if he killed himself|at the premiere.

I'm joking. I'm thinking out loud|or whatever you call it.

Goodnight, Dave.

Goodnight, Lee.

Good work!

Hi.

Good morning.

How do you feel?

I feel good. I mean...

...I feel weird, but I feel good.

-You?|-I feel something along those lines.

Good, weird. Weird, good.

Here's what I was thinking:|What about some breakfast?

We'll take it from there.

Okay.

Why don't you order some breakfast.|I'll brush my teeth first.

-Can I use your toothbrush?|-Yeah, it's in there.

Can I get some juice?

Keek? Hello?

Where are you? Kiki!

Want some toast?

You buttered my toast.

No one's ever buttered my toast before.

I don't eat toast with butter.|I don't eat toast.

I'll stop talking now|and make an exception.

Some tea?

It's hot.

-Here. Okay.|-Thank you.

No, I'm fine. I look like half a raccoon.|What's going on?

Now's not a good time.

Can we do it later? No, don't come here.|I'll come there.

'Bye.

That was Gwen.

-She wants to talk.|-About what?

I don't know. She didn't say.|But I better...

...go over there.

Why didn't you say you'd see her later?

I did, but she said she'd come here,|and I thought:

"That's not a good idea." So I'd better|just go over there, given the situation.

Will you tell her about last night?

I don't know. I think I'll just let her talk.

-Know what I mean?|-Oh, yeah.

Sounds like it's important|so I'll just let her say it.

Then I'll go do these dumb interviews.

I'll come back|and we'll have lunch together.

Does that sound good?

You look terrible.

-Does it hurt?|-Only when I'm awake.

-He's not here by the way.|-Who?

-Hector.|-That doesn't matter.

Is Kiki here, though?

I doubt it.

I don't know where that girl is.

"That girl" is here.

Nice of you to join us.

Where have you been?

Got up early. Things to do.|Nothing important.

Would you make me|some scrambled eggs?

-She makes great scrambled eggs.|-I remember.

-Would you like some?|-No.

Two scrambled eggs. Make mine runny.

Order room service.|She doesn't have to cook.

It would be my pleasure.

What did you want to talk about?

I think you're doing pretty well, huh?

Are you feeling okay?

Yeah, I'm better. I'm shocking myself.

"l forgot how charming you were, Colonel."

"And you, Miss Julip.|You're a warm breeze on a cool afternoon."

What was that?

"What was that?"

-What was that movie called?|-I don't remember.

Kiki! What was that movie called?

I don't give a sh*t!

No, that wasn't it.

Anyway, you look like you're getting|to a good place.

Last night, when I saw you and Hector,|I was so conflicted.

"Conflicted" is the word du jour.

There's no question about that.

You know what? That's tired. She's tired.

-Are you seeing anybody?|-Excuse me?

Are you seeing anybody?

Let me think about it.

Um, not...

...you know....

-Not technically, no.|-What?

He said "not technically"!

That's fascinating. "Not technically."

That's sad. Really, that's a shame.

Here are your eggs, my darling sister.|I hope they're runny enough.

And you, son of a b*tch!|Here are your eggs!

There you go!

-What the hell is wrong with you Kiki?|-A lot, actually.

I can't believe it's taken me|this long to figure it out.

I'm going for a long walk now|just to simmer down.

Before I do,|I'd like to cut through the bullshit.

The reason he's "not technically"|seeing anyone...

...is he's still "technically" hung up on you.

And you! You moron!

The reason she's here, besides trying|to salvage her precious career...

...is to serve you with divorce papers.

I've done all I can do here.|I'm going for a walk because that's....

Leaving is just something|I've really perfected, so...

...once more with feeling.

She was much more fun when she was fat.

Is that true?

-What?|-About the papers.

Yes, but now I don't know what to do.

Seeing you again and being in front|of the press with you again. We have something, Eddie.

Maybe I've made|a horrible, horrible mistake.

Or maybe I should give you the papers.|I don't know.

You're the devil.

Kiki! Hold on. I wanna talk.

-Hold on a minute.|-Let go.

-I wanna talk to you.|-I don't!

-Why not?|-You're an idiot.

For that matter, I'm an idiot, too!

In that respect,|we're perfect for each other.

-This is a very complicated situation.|-Let me un-complicate it for you!

Forget about what happened between us.|It's not gonna work. All right?

Last night. Last night was great.

But she calls you this morning|and you can't wait to get to her!

What is that? It just won't work.

You'll probably always think of her...

...and I'll probably always be wondering|if you're thinking of her.

I just....

-I need you to know one thing.|-What?

That woman that you saw|by the pool the other night.

That woman you just have|to spend the rest of your life with.

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