Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid

You've sold us a bill of goods,

Gordon.

Promised new drugs to fight everything

from the common cold to cancer.

- We'll deliver everything we promised.

- I'm sorry, but the adventure is over.

We're exercising our option

to liquidate...

...Byron & Mitchell Research Limited.

Jack, show these people how filthy

rich we're gonna make them, please.

I don't think you understand

what I just said.

Oh, I think I understand.

Jack.

Perrinia immortalis.

The Blood Orchid.

First described in 1892

by Houghton...

...the last person to see it until our

team brought a sample from Borneo.

It lies dormant for seven years,

then blooms for just six months.

Which means we just got

lucky as hell, gentlemen.

Anyone here familiar

with the Hayflick limit?

He proposed a cell

could only replicate 56 times...

...before it died from

a buildup of toxins.

According to him,

it's the reason we die.

But what if we could

transcend that limit?

That would be impossible.

Not according to our data.

Our research indicates the presence

of a chemical in Perrinia immortalis...

...that can significantly

prolong cellular life.

I can't support this.

Does that mean

what I think it means?

Are we talking about

a pharmaceutical equivalent...

...to the fountain of youth?

Exactly.

That'd be bigger than Viagra.

- Have you put this into human trials?

- We can't yet.

Our sample was degraded

in the initial study.

We need more of the orchid.

See, and that's our only problem,

gentlemen.

That orchid is only in bloom

for another two weeks.

Well, what the hell

are you waiting for?

Get your asses down to Borneo.

Yes.

- Welcome to Borneo.

- Thanks.

- What's wrong with this picture?

- I don't know. Let me see, you're in it?

We don't have a boat, okay?

Your company had one responsibility:

Get a boat.

- And you've already screwed it up.

- Wait. Your girl chartered the boat.

Sam confirmed with the company.

They're waiting for your payment.

Hey. Hey, I've got something.

Payment cleared.

Really?

- Where's the boat?

- It's not coming.

All of the charter companies

have shut down.

No one'll risk going upriver

till after the rainy season.

- And when's that?

- Two, three weeks.

The orchid's only in bloom

for one more week, tops.

There's a local captain

named Jin-Soon.

I'm told he'll take anyone upriver,

for the right price.

Are you sure this is the place?

They said the one

with the red door.

I bet you somebody's playing

Russian roulette in there.

Maybe we'll get lucky

and you'll get a turn.

Hey, why don't you two just get a room.

Come on, Sam.

Wait here.

Yeah, if you insist.

Hey! Hey!

Jin-Soon.

Jin-Soon?

Your Indonesian sucks.

- Stick to English.

- We heard you could take us upriver.

In rainy season?

Won't be cheap.

We can pay you 25,000.

- I'll have a talk with the captain.

- You're not the captain?

Jin-Soon!

These tourists need a boat.

I told them not in the rainy season.

- You're Jin-Soon?

- Local nickname.

Name's Johnson. Bill Johnson.

It's a pronunciation thing.

And you can rent my boat

for 25 grand.

Now, you want me to drive it,

well...

...that'll cost you 50.

Fifty grand? Are you high?

You know what?

Don't answer that.

I'm not trusting him

with the expedition.

Listen. Lady.

Let's cut the bullshit, please.

If one of the other charter

companies could take you...

...you'd be on the river by now.

You only came to me

because you're desperate.

Fifty grand's my price.

Take it...

...or leave it.

I've seen subway cars

in better shape than this.

Yeah, she may be ugly...

...but she puts out.

- Sh*t!

- What took you so long?

Hey, you try getting a GPS locator,

a Sat-Nav EchoStar...

...and a UV spectrometer

past Indonesian customs.

- Complaining already.

- Yeah.

- You rather be back in the office?

- Hell, yeah.

I had courtside seats

at the Garden on Saturday.

I was gonna sit right between

Spike and Woody.

Oh, man, is that our ride?!

Look at the bright side, Cole.

At least the weather's nice.

Ben Douglas, team doctor.

You must be Sam.

Yeah. We spoke on the phone.

Glad to have you aboard.

I'm gonna get you for this.

Oh, yeah. This could be fun.

You can forget about that, dog.

That's one car you ain't

never gonna catch.

There's always a way.

- Your team's a little green, huh?

- My former grad students.

Best in their field.

Here's a tip for Wexell-Hall:

You want the best young talent...

...recruit early.

Yes, I'm sure Sam's very talented.

I think I resent that.

You and the other gal can stay in here.

You live here.

The way you say that,

I can tell you're impressed.

All right.

If you need anything...

Well...

...if you need anything,

you're sh*t out of luck.

Okay.

Now, this is where the exploratory

team found the orchid.

In the Selatan Basin.

- It took them three days to get upriver.

- Yeah.

That was before

the rainy season.

These waterways

could be dangerous now.

- You said you'd get us there safely.

- And I will.

But safe isn't always quick.

We'll work our way up

one bend at a time.

If I don't like what I see,

we change course.

Can't chart the fastest route

before you begin.

Already have.

Check it. All right.

Now, we're uplinked in real time

to NASA and AsiaSatCom.

Now, under ideal conditions...

...this is the fastest route.

But once we superimpose weather

patterns for the past 10 years...

...and then extrapolate...

Bingo! It's Padrang

to the Selatan Basin.

I'm a bad man.

We got less than a week

to get to that orchid.

If you can't get the job done,

give our money back...

...and we'll get somebody who can.

- I'll get you there.

God help me.

Something attacked me!

- Oh, my God!

- She said something attacked her.

No, no, no!

It's okay. It's okay.

What the hell'd you do?

You scared him.

I scared him?!

This is Kong.

Kong lives here.

You're guests.

Be nice.

Disgusting animal.

You okay now?

I'm fine. Just keep

your hands off of me.

Oh, yeah. Well, it's gonna be tough,

but I'll try.

No, no, the S-1 has to be on file

before the week is out.

- That's the whole point.

- Hello?

- The S-1 needs to be on file before...

- Yes, we were able to get on the river.

That's the purpose. We need

the comments from the SEC.

- Excuse me.

- It's the only place I can get reception.

- No, just get it done. Be ready to go...

- No, that's impossible...

- Hello? Hello? Damn!

- Hello? Bob? Damn it!

Try my phone.

Works just as good,

but it's free.

Okay. Maybe you can use my special

antenna to boost your reception.

We're dealing with a lithophytic vine,

so we want to search any rock face.

Now, this ridge here

seems a good bet.

Sam.

Come on, Sam. What do you say?

We're young. We're single.

We're in Borneo.

What do you got to lose?

Not satisfied, walk away.

No commitments.

"No commitments."

That's your pitch?

Did I say "No commitments"?

I meant marry me.

Am I gonna be dealing with this

for the next two weeks?

Yep.

So you were one of Jack's students?

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