Anywhere But Here

My mother made an amazing amount

of noise when she ate her food.

It was as if she was trying to taste

the entire world.

Sometimes I just couldn 't stand her.

Sometimes I hated her.

Sometimes I thought

she was ruining my life.

What kept me going was knowing

one day I'd leave her.

Come on, baby, surfing safari

I'm gonna take you

Surfing safari

I'm gonna take you

Surfing safari

I'm gonna take you

Surfing safari

Let's go surfing now

Everybody's learning how

Come on and safari with me

-I hate this song.

-I Iove the Beach Boys.

-I hate them'

-How can you hate them?

-They're happy and sunny.

-You'II Iearn to Iike that.

That's what CaIifornia's aII about.

Next stop, SaIt Lake City.

SaIt Lake City, Utah.

-The capitaI, right?

-I don't care.

You do. Don't mumbIe.

You care. You're very good

at capitaIs.

-Idaho? Pooh Bear.

-Stop caIIing me "Pooh Bear. "

But you are my IittIe Pooh Bear.

Come on. Come on. Idaho?

-Boise. I don't wanna pIay'

-Do a hard one for me.

I don't wanna pIay.

-Oregon?

-PortIand. Too easy.

-It's SaIem.

-SaIem?

I don't wanna do this anymore.

I don't wanna be in Utah.

2000 miIes between us and Bay City.

Okay'

I miss Bay City.

This is Iike being kidnapped.

-I wish I'd been kidnapped at your age.

-So do I.

Grandma always said

Mom was a strange child.

-She's absoIuteIy moribund'

-Gwenn Purvis has cancer.

-That's worse.

-I didn't give it to her.

You didn't give it to her.

That's funny.

-You're gonna die one day too.

-But not in this town.

My mother never wanted

to stay in Bay City.

I think she married Ted...

...because he was so nice and clean.

Being an ice-skating instructor

made him seem cleaner.

She missed my real father,

who was Egyptian, dark and romantic.

One Christmas Eve,

I heard my parents argue.

I knew nothing until he was gone.

He left in our brown Valiant.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

You're awfuIIy quiet.

-You said we'd see a reservation.

-When we get to one, we wiII.

Don't mumbIe. How can you be

an actress if you can't speak?

I don't want to be an actress.

I bet we won't even stop in Las Vegas.

-That's what's wrong'

-You said you had his number.

I said we'II Iook him up, okay?

Your father Ieft in

the middIe of the night.

So what? You Ieft my stepdad

in the middIe of the afternoon.

-I miss Ted.

-He's boring.

-Why'd you marry him?

-None of your business.

-He ran around with other women.

-Not true'

You made it up. You wanted him to,

to catch him and get his money.

-You IittIe snoop'

-And Ted's not a homosexuaI.

-I never said that.

-You did.

I inferred it, but I never said it.

"Light in the Ioafers" isn't the same.

AII right, Mother.

Ted said he Ioves you.

He was worried you saw other peopIe.

You probabIy were.

That's it!I've had it with you'

You miss Ted so much, go find Ted.

Get out of the car'

-You said we'd see buffaIo.

-Tough sh*t!Get out of the car.

Ted wiII teach ice-skating

for the rest of his Iife.

Cousin Benny wiII be

a mechanic.

LoIy won't Ieave the bank.

Your cousin HaI drinks Iiquor.

SyIvia and the baby can

bareIy breathe there.

I now have a job teaching

in the Los AngeIes schooI system.

My M.A. in earIy education was wasted

in that dink junior high.

So forget about buffaIo and Indians.

You're a beautifuI girI

with great potentiaI.

I won't Iet you be nothing

in a nothing town.

You are 1 4 years oId.

You've aIways had food

and a pIace to Iive.

Stick with me, you aIways wiII.

I'm your mother.

And I know what is best for you,

because that is my job.

Your schooI is in BeverIy HiIIs,

the best schooI district in the U.S.

You'II be a chiId actor,

whiIe stiII a chiId.

You don't have a job

in the L.A. schooI district.

I wiII. I have an interview

and a great outfit.

-You hungry?

-I don't know.

-Excuse me?

-I don't know.

Great!So am I.

So. . . .

Look at that. Is it the most

beautifuI car you've ever seen?

No. I hate that car.

I miss the PIymouth.

Baby, nobody misses a PIymouth.

-It's your coIor.

-It is, isn't it?

Look at this. It's so beautifuI.

-How's it feeI?

-SubIime'

-We can't afford this.

-I have savings.

I'II dip into my retirement fund.

This car doesn't beIong in Bay City.

Neither do we.

We'II drive to BeverIy HiIIs

in this car.

This pIace Iooks expensive.

I'II worry about that.

Now we're in BeverIy HiIIs,

maybe we'II caII you "Heather. "

-It smeIIs nice. How much is the room?

-It's $1 200.

A night?

I don't know that it's Iarge enough.

-Do you have any viIIas?

-Not right now.

Mom, I'm tired.

Where wiII we sIeep tonight?

Sweet Pea, you are just as pretty

as these girIs on TV.

I think you're prettier.

Sweetie? Are you aII right?

You've been in there over an hour.

Okay, weII, I'm gonna go to sIeep

now. And I think you shouId soon. . .

. . .because you need your beauty rest.

Okay? Okay, good night.

I miss everyone in Bay City so much.

I don 't know how I'll survive

without Benny.

And my best friend, good little Mary.

Serious Mary, Benny and I...

... we were inseparable.

I made this for you.

It's tin and painted on one side

with goId dust.

-It's not reaI goId dust.

-Ann, we're ready to go'

Where do you want

the cookies and the sandwiches?

Mom, thanks.

You didn't give her aII the cookies?

CaII us from the road.

-You'II visit us.

-She doesn't have a pIace to Iive.

-Stop worrying about it, Ma.

-Even a job.

-She's got the schooI job.

-She does not, just taIked to someone.

When wiII you have faith in me?

When you see things as they are.

-Don't take any wooden nickeIs.

-Right.

Okay, thanks.

Sorry, Ted.

I'II write.

Ann! Come on

or I'II Ieave without you'

Benny'

Ben'

You destroyed the photos

of me in my underwear?

I did, Mary. I promise.

Let's go! We'II caII from the road.

-I Iove you.

-I Iove you too, Grandma.

Ann! Just in case you find

a skating rink out there.

Thanks, Ted.

I Iove you. You're the best

stepdad a girI couId have.

Here's a good one:

"PooI, waIk-in cIosets. . .

. . .security, vauIted ceiIings. "

-VauIted. I Iove it.

-Excuse me.

I'm sorry. I couIdn't heIp

but overhearing.

I thought I might heIp you.

I'm GaiI Letterfine.

-Westside ReaIty.

-Oh.

-What do you want?

-Something in BeverIy HiIIs.

-I'm AdeIe August. My daughter, Ann.

-Hi.

Hi.

She's not awake.

We're from Wisconsin.

-I don't know anyone from Wisconsin--

-I'm awake.

-You Iive in BeverIy HiIIs?

-Santa Monica. FormerIy BeI Air.

FormerIy Brentwood.

I've had many formerIies in my Iife.

I'm fine now.

I'm singIe, I'm free and I Iove it.

-Most of the time.

-Excuse me.

-She wants to be an actress.

-Don't they aII?

Operator.

TeII her it's her granddaughter,

and I'II pay her back.

What do we have aIong BeverIy Vista?

BeverIy HiIIs-adjacent.

It's not posh, but it's within

the schooI district.

What are you doing? You okay?

GaiI found something.

She's raising three teenagers aIone.

Husband ran off with an accountant.

Come with me whiIe I pee.

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