April Fool's Day

- Go! Go!

- Oh, um...

Hi... My name is

Mary O'Reilly O'Toole O'Shea and...

Don't be nervous.

Somewhere out there

is the island my friend Muffy owns.

It's spring break and she's invited us

over there for the weekend.

We're waiting for the ferry

to take us there.

- Yes?

- I don't know what else to say.

Why don't you tell us

something about yourself?

- All right. Something about myself.

- Yeah.

I want to work

with handicapped children.

My parents are my best friends.

And I start convent school

next semester.

And I f*** on the first date.

April Fool!

Nikki, baby, you're outrageous!

Now get out of here, knucklehead.

All right, try Kit.

- How about you?

- I pass.

- Arch?

- Skip.

Where are you?

- Come on, help me out.

- Yeah...

Yeah, sure.

I f*** on the first date.

We did on the first date.

Didn't we, honey? He's an animal.

- Need any help down there?

- No, Clara, thanks.

I'm just straightening up. I don't

think I've worked so hard in my life!

Sure you don't want me to stay?

There'll be nobody to help

till the ferry on Monday.

No. Clara, you're a peach.

This one's mine.

I told my father I'd do it

and I will, my way.

We don't want him to have any excuses.

All right, then. Have a nice party.

Nice? It's going to be better than nice.

It's going to be bloody unforgettable!

Good luck!

Here comes the ferry.

- Is this the ferry to the St John house?

- Yeah, any second now.

Good! I didn't know if this was right.

- Let me help you. Kit Graham.

- Nan Youngblood.

That's Nikki Brashears.

Are you planning on staying a while?

No, it's just some work for finals

when we get back.

- You don't know how far behind I am.

- Hi! I got it.

Hi. Arch Cummings. I've seen you.

Jewett Hall, right?

Chaz Vyshinsky.

You've got great legs.

Chaz, Arch already has her bags.

I only met Muffy this term.

In Drama Society.

I volunteered to do their costumes.

I like to sew.

- Did you see her in "Ghosts"?

- No.

She was wonderful.

She's so talented.

Yeah, she is.

Guy, your fly is open and your

Hostess Twinkie is hanging out.

- Come on if you're coming!

- We're still waiting for someone.

This is my last run of the week.

I don't get paid overtime.

But this is the only way over.

If he misses this one, how is he...

Wait up!

Go! Go! Go!

Sorry, guys. Nik, Chaz, hi.

Rob Ferris.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Hi. Harvey "Hal" Edison Jr.

Call me Hal.

Only my folks call me Harve

and I can't stand it.

- Sure is pretty here, isn't it?

- You're friends with Muffy St John?

Sure am.

We sit together in Econ 3.45.

I let her copy

my marginal utility curves.

- Oh, I get it. That's a joke.

- Harve.

Hal... Springsteen! Still the boss!

Let's go. We don't have all day.

- You all buddies?

- Except for Skip and Nan.

- Them we just met.

- But we will be.

Careful, though. Skip is Muffy's cousin.

- No kidding!

- Distant. Over the horizon.

Otherwise

I wouldn't have been invited.

- She doesn't mix family with friends.

- True, as long as I've known her.

To protect her family, I guess.

No, to keep her friends.

- Choose your weapons, big guy.

- What's this?

- You up for a game of Stretch?

- OK.

- Skip, your fly's open.

- Eat it!

Ah, Rob!

Your fly is open.

OK, don't believe me.

Oh, nice.

We're off.

Bye.

First round, the Champ!

You know what I find amazing?

Muffy's her real name.

I'm Harvey, but they call me Hal.

Muffy must stand for something. Muffin?

Muff-child, Moffo the Muffster,

Muffin' Stuff...

Muff dive.

- Hi, what are you reading?

- Milton's "Paradise Lost".

For Professor Russo's course

on English Epic.

- It's a shame. It's a dying form.

- Dying.

Not many people read it nowadays,

even in college.

Really?

- What about you?

- Oh, er...

"Treasure Island: The History

of Pornography in America".

I don't have the perks

of you private college kids.

Don't give me that.

I'm hoping to interview with her

daddy's company before graduation.

He's worth more than 50 million

over the counter.

But I don't think

that's why she invited me, do you?

We're not going to be sheltered

college kids our whole life.

Wake up!

Smell the bacon, Nan!

It's research I can do all on my own.

And this is the best part:

I never get tired of it.

You want to take a look?

- Bruce's car was in the shop.

- That's not my point.

Oh, my God.

We're going to spend a weekend there?

- Are you a wimp?

- I'm not interested any more.

Come on! One more.

Double or nothing.

Enough's enough.

- What? Are you scared?

- Hey, I said give it a rest.

Oh, f***!

I'll get him! I'll get him!

Where is he?

All right! What you're looking for?

We got them! We got them!

Did we nail them?

Ha ha ha. April Fool's. Very funny.

What's wrong with you?

Somebody could have got hurt.

At least we don't go in

for this shoe-lace-is-untied crap.

You know that.

That was great! Sh*t!

OK, Buck, come on out.

I'm going to need some help.

I'll just do it from here.

Throw me a line.

- This one?

- That's the one. That'll work.

Thank you.

- Some hero you were.

- I took off my jacket and shoes.

- There were three guys in the water.

- Chaz, I'm only kidding.

- Nikki, can we borrow your towel?

- Yeah.

Hey, you guys have got to admit,

it was a hell of a trick.

- I loved it.

- Animal!

Buck! Look out!

Calm him down!

Calm him down!

I've got to get him to a doctor.

- Cal!

- Get in the boat!

- Cal!

- Get in the boat!

They did it! They did it!

What's going on?

Sam, what happened?

Tricks. Pranks.

Ask your friends.

- Is your dad around?

- No, he's in Sutton Place. Why?

- You haven't heard from him?

- No.

I need to borrow your boat

to get back to shore.

All the keys are in the kitchen,

but I think there's an extra one

under the cushion there.

Look, you people, stay put,

all of you.

If anything else happens,

I want to know

just where to find you.

Skip, it's not your fault.

It was an accident. You didn't know.

Sure.

Did you see his face?

Muffy. Nothing bad ever happens to her.

- There's a lot to be done here.

- You sound as if you own it.

I will, if all goes well.

Next month when I turn 21,

it's my first stage inheritance.

- First stage? What's your second?

- Texas.

You may be talking

to your future boss, Harve.

Nikki, burn my bags, baby!

I am home!

Oh, yeah!

I could get really used to this.

We spent all our summers here

before my mother died.

- It's very special to me.

- It's like a dream.

On a clear day,

you can see the Kennedys.

Wow!

You guys, look at this!

Oh, Muffers,

our very own place settings!

With our very own place cards

and here's our own little dolly!

- It's just like an Agatha Christie.

- And sporks!

- Sporks?

- And napkins with bunnies on them.

- Muffy, you spared no expense.

- How do you think Dad made money?

The old fashioned way.

He inherited it.

I used to have all her outfits.

Hold it! Don't anybody move!

But before this night is over,

somebody in this room...

...will pull his wang.

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