Are You Here

And honestly...

I wake up happy.

I mean, I'm that guy.

I've got enough

of everything I need.

I'm single,

I like a party,

and I'm old enough

to enjoy it.

Young enough

to enjoy it.

I want to do something,

and I do it.

There seems to

be a little problem.

Oh. Must be

the magnetic stripe.

And the weird thing is

I know it's all a clich.

No strings,

no obligations,

but what's

the alternative?

Get into some life,

wife, kids,

some kind of car

with too many seats?

That's a world where you

have to do whatever it is

other people want you

to do to keep it going.

It's prostitution

when you think about it.

But there is a nagging feeling

that I'm missing something.

Sorry, I don't know

what the problem is.

No, it's not

your fault.

That should do it.

And maybe in the end,

I'm worrying for nothing.

I mean, I'm not

at this stage of my life

where I have to worry

about most of this stuff.

Maybe I never will.

I must sound pretty selfish.

Or just drunk.

This is no good either.

You're kidding.

Are you serious?

Whoa.

Come on, wait.

You know

I have money.

I just don't have any on me...

or on my credit cards,

but I get paid all the time,

and a lot.

Maybe next time.

Car fare?

And by the way...

as someone whose life

really is prostitution,

I can tell you that until you're

actually f***ing for a living,

you shouldn't be complaining.

Wait a minute.

That's not what I meant.

Thanks for the drink.

Call Beverly if you want

to make it up to me.

Good evening.

Oh, sh*t.

Hello?

Hey.

Ah, Jesus!

You have the right

to remain silent.

Oh, wait.

Stop.

Ow!

Don't test me!

Stop!

I warn you,

lam a yellow belt.

Stop.

Stop!

Stop! Relax!

It's me!

Jesus!

What is wrong with you?

I heard a noise.

Ah...

Turn right...

I heard a noise.

Everything is cool.

There's nobody there.

I swear.

It's all right.

Five-four-three-two-one-zero.

Ignition. Lift-off.

I guess that's really what I've

been trying to write about.

I mean, who are we

trying to fool?

We 're not only animals, we're

the worst animals there are.

Why do we eat meat?

The Greek gods dined

on ambrosia and nectar,

but we need to incorporate

other species into us.

Look at Christianity.

"This is my body.

This is my blood.

That's why I'm doing this chapter

about the genocide in Rwanda.

The Tutsis were vegetarians,

and the Hutus were ranchers,

who eat meat,

and they regarded the Tutsis

as monkeys, as animals,

and that's why they had no trouble

killing them. Don't you think?

Honestly, Ben,

I don't know why

the farmer and the cowhand

can't be friends.

But I do know

that part of the reason

why some people regard

other people as animals

is because they don't observe

the social conventions

most of us take

for granted.

Every human function

is disgusting in our society.

I side with the public

on this one.

I know what I am...

and that's an animal.

I'm human,

but animal.

You're wasting a lot of

thought on something

that's not going

to get you high or laid.

I always say, "if it ain't

broke, don't fix it."

Well, you're very wise.

And broke.

That is so uncool.

Can't I just take

some money back?

I get paid very soon,

and when I do,

I'm going to float you

another loan.

Until then, I'd like to

borrow back what I lent you.

Why do you need to leave?

You just going to go out there

and be part of the machine?

Hey, that machine is what

keeps you in all this.

Now you know there's no one

out there today, right?

Yeah.

So just hold it together

and do whatever it is you do.

I'm writing a book.

What is it that you do?

F*** it. I'm going to

get the didgeridoo.

Please,

didgeri-don't.

Forgot my ID.

I wish I could say

you look trustworthy.

Buenos dias.

Hey, Steve.

There she is.

Miss Weather Center

two years in a row.

Pretty much the usual.

There's this pocket

of cold air coming in,

but you'll see it

on the composite.

I'm going to talk to Dave about

putting a real window in here

so we can see if any

of this stuff is right.

It's right.

Want one?

They're poison.

But there's two of them.

Got him.

God, you cut it

so close.

Thrilling,

isn't it?

Nice to see you,

Mr. Dallas.

Victoria, looking lovely

and authoritative.

Kyle, you want

to blow your nose

and avoid a repeat

of yesterday?

You said it wasn't

a big deal.

I say

a lot of things,

like did I mention Steve,

glad you could make it?

Can I get

some water?

And is there any way to turn

these lights down a little?

Five seconds.

Four, three...

It's the Channel

18 Eyewitness Newsteam.

News at Noon,

Chesapeake Edition

with Kyle Robertson

at sports.

Do the Ravens

finally have a kicker?

Steve Dallas

in the Weather Center.

Beauty of a day

out there,

and I'm going to tell

you all about it.

And now,

Victoria Riolobos

with the news.

Good afternoon.

Tragedy struck this morning

as a Truxton man

backed his late-model SUV

into a daycare center.

One youngster remains

in critical condition

after being struck

by shrapnel-like debris

during the collision,

but luckily,

the rest emerged

scathed only by...

Do you think the graphic

is in bad taste?

I don't know.

Kind of captures the mood.

She's really solid.

...Identified the driver

under investigation.

And he's really high.

You know, Stu?

You don't just go spreading

rumors about people like that.

The man

is a working professional.

Lots of people

have squinty red eyes,

insatiable thirst,

and trouble walking.

He could be diabetic

or something.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

The bearded

and bespectacled doctor

murdered at least

26 patients,

making him one of the world's

most prolific killers.

So Steve, how's it

looking out there today?

It's about time we saw

some of this warmer weather.

Well, Victoria,

let's get things started

with a little shot

of the harbor

and some seagulls

enjoying the sunshine.

How you doing there,

fellas?

Today's high will get up

to about 65 degrees

with unlimited visibility

which means if we could get this

Knucklehead out of the way,

you could see clear down

to Ocean City.

Coldest spot in the nation?

Why, that honor goes to...

Bismarck.

Smooth as silk.

That seem to you

like someone on drugs?

...and at 100% humidity

and 89 degrees

little Hilo, Hawaii

is both the hottest

and wettest spot

in the nation.

I guess that makes it

the number one destination

for teenage boys,

eh, Victoria?

I guess so, Steve.

So I know

I don't have to tell you

that showing up with

enough time for us to know

that you're going to be here,

and in condition to work

is 90 percent of it.

And why the f***

are you paying attention

to your computer?

Are you ever going

to friend me?

You think

you're irreplaceable?

You have this job because you're

handsome and you can talk.

And people trust me.

No one trusts you.

You think you're going to move

to a bigger market?

Not with that nose.

You know, I could just

as easily demean your job

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