Asperger's Are Us Page #7

---

he probably doesn't know.

Don't get personally attacked,

upset at him.

Ethan, we will work this out,

it is irritating and stressful,

just know that it will be okay.

- I know, it's just...

- It is annoying, I concur.

Hey, come on in.

What's up, Meaghan?

- Hello.

- Hey.

Look through this,

see if any of this is unclear,

and just turn it off

whenever we're ready.

And like loop it if you have to

if we're not ready.

- Okay.

- Here's the lights.

This is a more readable one.

- Yes, this is more readable.

- I can print this out

for you at some point.

- Meaghan gave this shirt to me

a little over two years ago.

- That's important.

Guys, it's 7:
45.

Meaghan, what time

do you have to leave?

- I have to be on

the 9:
30 train,

so I'm probably gonna

leave here at like...

8:
55?

- Like an hour?

- Yeah, like an

hour, maybe a little less.

- Okay, we have to run

through non-stop guys.

Okay guys, ready?

Everyone ready, start.

- Just play the song?

- Play the song at

the, yeah, exactly.

Suicide Man's alone on stage.

- Fine, Condescending Man!

I'll check, I'll check!

Shut up, Overthinker Man!

- Yup, we're freeing

Gandhi right now!

- Hey, thanks Thinker Man!

- Hello!

I'm Gary Dink!

I do observational comedy,

things that are funny

'cause they're true!

Audiences love

sitting in chairs.

This guy knows what

I'm talkin' about!

I'm Gary Dink!

I was getting bored

of doing the same.

- Well are were.

- Exactly!

- I mean we would have gone

on a huge hiatus anyways.

I wonder how much we're

all gonna be changed

you know, in nine months.

You know, Jack, I wonder if...

- Alcoholics, all three of you!

- I wonder, you know,

especially Holistic

Healing Man, but...

- One thing your dad said today

is that he's really...

- You talked to my dad?

- He drove us to the station.

- He did?

- Yeah.

- Oh, oh yeah!

I forgot that you

guys were with him.

- Yeah, he said he was

really proud of you

for all kinds of reasons.

- Yeah, I love my dad.

- I hope so, he

loves you so much.

- I know.

- He really does.

- One special thing

he doesn't take our

relationship for granted.

- Yeah, that's important.

- He definitely used to, so.

- Do you?

- I got a close circle

of five friends.

The Asperberger's Are Us,

Ben, and Meaghan.

Five friends.

And Jack's going away,

and Ben just had a baby, so,

down to three.

Now usually I keep my

Facebook account deactivated

for all of the year

except for the month

of my birthday,

which is October,

so people can write

"happy birthday"

on my Facebook wall.

But, I also reactivate it

if I have something to promote.

And considering this might

be our last ever show,

I wanted it to be a good one

that I can invite people to.

I'm definitely more

confident in it now.

It was a good choice

making these eggs.

I hope today's a day

of many good choices.

Now the,

the creeping things

of the ground

and the fowl of the air will

take care of the rest.

I just came down

here for a photo op,

and then it turned

into a disaster, so.

- Do you have a AAA membership?

- I do, I can call now.

- We don't have this

time to spare right now.

- Okay, uh.

- Nothing bad is

going to happen.

- Well, the show will...

- No, that won't be true.

We'll just be a little

late to rehearsal.

That's the worst-case scenario.

- Yeah, but how are

we gonna rehearse

if Jack's down here?

- Jack untied this, guys...

- Hey, good job, Jack.

- Seriously.

Can you get the door, Ethan?

- Is that everything?

You need Cardboard Cut-out Man.

- Thank you.

Before I go,

one more thing.

- Yeah?

- Your shorts.

- You don't need

to give them to me.

They're yours to

wear in the show.

- I meant I was setting them...

- Oh, okay.

- Down, but I think I

guess I already did that.

- Okay.

I have your hat over here.

- I thought you had more stuff.

The audience will probably know

I'm reading my lines

out of a book, but...

- But we'd

announce that you are,

'cause you're Literate Man,

that's the whole point.

- Are we bothering with

this chore wheel or not?

- Yes.

- Okay.

- Yeah, that's for the set.

Hey, what's this?

Whose mask is this?

- Libertarian

Man, but he's dead,

so it doesn't matter.

- What do you call an actor

who succeeds in California?

- Not now, Emilio

Estevez Joke Man.

- Emilio Best in the Westevez!

- Will you shut up?

I'm gonna kill you

one of these days.

- Okay, I'll give it

an Emilio Restevez.

- So this transition

should be very short.

- Yep, it should be.

- Yeah.

- I'm not sure if this is

how the dress gets put on.

- I wish you guys

had addressed this earlier.

- We need to do

- Over everyone's head.

- Are we doing

scene 18 with K-Strass?

Are you pulling that

up on the computer?

- Yes.

- Okay, so

you're bringing it up?

- Everyone ready, guys?

- And for freeing Gandhi,

Literate Man, you

get one gold star!

- Thanks, Gold Star Man!

- Uh, is there any way

I can get a teal star?

Just 'cause I don't

really like gold.

- So now you?

- No, then it's you.

- Well no, no, no.

But wait, don't you have-

Oh, you're right.

We all know that you

want something different

to make you special,

but remember,

you're not special, okay?

So you're gonna have to

take what you can get,

don't worry about it.

- Yeah, uh,

anyway, I really

should get going,

'cause I have to go pick my

dad up from his blood work.

So, and that's

over up in Oshkosh,

and that's gonna

because I'm using my

my mom's car,

which is, to be honest with you,

a hunk-a-junk.

Anyway,

I got warm brain going,

so I'll talk to you guys soon,

and maybe I'll shapeshift,

shapeshift later for you guys.

Okay, bye.

- Remember when we made the

last video K-Strass made,

and it's him alone

for the first time,

and it was us on stage with him,

and he was doing the

lines we wrote for him?

That was pretty cool.

- It was a very true story.

We're here at Palace Marvel

And allow us to

see superheroes

None of us can read

Except Literate Man

The crimes he sees

In a book in his hand

Superhero Palace

DC won't allow us

to say "superheroes"

Time is different here

There are no women either

No one has strong hands

Except the Missing Bear Man

That's how it goes

- Thank you.

- I have $20 for two tickets.

- Okay, you think I'd

be good for the doc

if I throw up before stage?

- Yes!

- You have similar

faces, are you guys related?

- No.

- A lot of people ask

us that, but we're not.

- Hopefully a lot

more people show up.

- We gotta hide in the back.

- Well we don't wanna

sit too far back.

- All right guys,

flicker the house lights,

and then you can

go take your place.

- I don't think he

knows I'm coming.

He doesn't know that we're here.

It's already funny.

They're a little bit, several

minutes behind schedule.

Oh, there we go!

- Hi everyone,

thanks for coming.

We're Asperger's Are Us,

we're really, really

grateful that you're here.

It's true, we're the

first comedy troupe

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes