Bachelor Party Page #30

ILENE:

I know what I'm doing... Go!

The girls run out the door.

INT. JAPANESE BEDROOM

Ilene smiles. She has what she wants. She walks into the

bedroom, surrounded by panting Japanese.

ILENE:

Gentlemen, the gods have answered

your prayers... Bonzai!

She takes a running leap and dives on top of the Japanese.

INT. CORRIDOR

Debbie and the ladies run to an elevator. Debbie presses the

"down" button.

MRS. THOMERSON

I hope Ilene's all right.

DEBBIE:

I hope those guys are all right.

The elevator door opens, revealing the donkey lying flat on

his back. His stiff legs point skyward. The girls see him

and scream. They run down the hall to the stairway. On the

way Debbie notices she's passing Room 1002. She HEARS the

party SOUNDS inside.

She heads for the room angrily. This is a lady out to even a

score.

INT. HOTEL SUITE

As Debbie opens the door, her father walks by with Desiree

on his arm. Neither sees the other. Debbie enters the room.

She is surprised by the masses of humanity rubbing shoulders

with one another in the room.

O'Neill looks over from the other side of the room and spots

her. He isn't fooled for a minute by her wig and mini skirt.

He runs over to Rick.

O'NEILL

Guess who's here? Another surprise

guest.

RICK:

Who?

O'NEILL

Debbie.

RICK:

My Debbie?

O'NEILL

What's with her costume?

O'Neill points and Rick sees Debbie. She doesn't see them.

RICK:

(continuing)

I don't know... Go up to her, make

like you don't know her and send her

into the other bedroom.

O'NEILL

You got it.

O'Neill crosses to Debbie.

O'NEILL

(continuing)

Hi, baby. You're new here. I don't

think the groom's had you yet, has

he?

PUSH IN ON Debbie. She's pissed.

DEBBIE:

No, not yet. Where is he?

INT. BEDROOM

Rick opens the door from the bathroom. The lights are turned

off and from the flashing illumination of a neon sign outside

the window we can MAKE OUT the outline of Debbie's body on

the bed.

RICK:

I can't see anything.

Debbie, in a disguised Southern accent, speaks out.

DEBBIE:

Don't turn on the lights, sugar.

(seductively)

I'll lead you around.

RICK:

How wonderful. A seeing eye hooker.

DEBBIE:

Why don't you get undressed.

Rick starts to undress. While undressing, he takes on the

persona of Mr. Rodgers. He sings Rodgers' opening theme in

that same sappy, child-like manner of his.

RICK:

(singing)

It's a lovely day in the neighborhood.

It's a lovely day, it's a beauty,

would you be mine, could you be mine.

(he's now stripped

down to his underwear)

...Please won't you be my neighbor.

(as Mr. Rodgers)

Hi... Hi there... Today we're going

to learn about anatomy...

He jumps on top of her and starts mauling her passionately.

Debbie snaps on the lights. She throws off her wig and she

and Rick come face to face.

RICK:

(continuing)

Debbie... you're a hooker! I can't

believe it!

She all but jumps out of bed.

DEBBIE:

I can't trust you!

RICK:

C'mon, I knew it was you.

DEBBIE:

(holding back tears)

Rick, you're lying!

As Rick protests, she throws on her blouse and runs out of

the room. Rick charges after her.

INT. HOTEL SUITE - MAIN ROOM

The place is wall to wall people.

ANGLE - DEBBIE

She tries to make her way to the exit, but her path is slowed

by all the happy revelers.

DEBBIE:

(yelling over the

din; furious)

Let go of me!

RICK:

(yelling back)

Debbie, I'm telling you, I didn't do

anything, hardly.

DEBBIE:

The marriage is off. Now you can

screw around with your friends for

the rest of your life.

RICK:

I don't want that. I want to be with

you.

DEBBIE:

And I want to be with someone who

understands the meaning of the word

commitment.

RICK:

I am committed. I love you.

Just then Desiree and Mr. Thomerson cross THROUGH FRAME.

She's leading him around by the silver chain, which is now

attached to his neck. She's also carrying a leather whip.

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