Ballet Shoes

of such a number for a house.

Yes?

Forgive my boldness, sir,

but wooden leg or no wooden leg...

you are this child's

last surviving relative.

Her father named you

as guardian in his will.

I don't dispute that.

I merely point out that this house

is a shrine to paleontology.

There is no corner in it for

a small girl, or her nurse.

We require two rooms, that is all. Some

of these stones can go to a museum.

My fossils?

In a public museum?

This has got nothing

to do with fossils.

If you don't want the child,

you should say it straight out.

- She'd be miserable here.

- My parents are dead.

I'd be miserable anywhere.

Smilodon popularis.

Why don't you just

stick a knife in my heart?

They're all magnets for dust, and

that big cat was plain unpleasant.

It 's a sabre-toothed tiger, Nana.

It 's lovely.

Gum, a skeleton!

Bye!

I keep a pack of women

in this house...

and there isn't

one of them about anywhere...

when they are wanted!

Oh, darling Gum!

- We weren't expecting you!

- Ship sank. Iceberg.

If you don't mind my asking, sir,

what have you got in the bag?

- Ah, a surprise.

- Let 's hope it 's not a fossil.

The world is full of entrancements,

woman! Not all of them made of stone!

- A baby?

- Found it.

Floating on a lifebelt.

Both parents drowned,

awful bloody shame.

A baby! Came in just like that,

what will people say?

Have you no regard for your

great-niece's reputation?

I'll put a notice in the Times!

"Professor Matthew Brown

adopts entirely unrelated child!"

- But, Gum...

- I thought women liked babies!

They like babies that are

in good order! Babies with names.

Well, I thought perhaps Pauline.

And surnames.

Fossil!

It 's not as though we've got

an empty room to put her in!

You don't mind, do you?

Gum, I came here

with nothing, once.

That 's the spirit.

Where are you actually going?

Siberia.

I'll bring you back a souvenir!

No, not another one?

Red Cross hospital,

outside Vladivostok.

Mother died when it was born.

What about the father?

Salt mines, worked to death.

Awful bloody end.

They called her Petrova.

Needs feeding up a bit.

It 's to be hoped

this one has brains...

for it 's easy to see who's going

to be Miss Plain in my nursery.

"Dearest Niece, another small fossil

from your great-uncle Matthew.

Daughterof a dancer, mother has no

money and no time for heroffspring.

She sends a pair

of ballet shoes, enclosed."

He says:
"I regret not delivering

the child myself...

but I ran into a friend about

to leave for the Galapagos.

There's enough money in the bank

to last you for 5 years.

P. S:
Child's name Posy.

Unfortunate, but true."

Ballet shoes indeed. A change

of clothes would be more useful.

Or a feeding bottle.

"To the little Fossils"?

"Turquoise for Pauline,

pearls for Petrova...

coral for Posy."

Make the most of it.

It 's the last we'll hear of him

for quite some time.

I bet Gum had a car.

Only a man with a car would

have bought a house at the far end...

of the longest road in London.

Garnie says he used to come

and go in taxis.

I wish we could.

I'd be happy if they let us

get the bus.

The Professor may have

had his faults, Petrova...

might I remind you

he had but a single leg?

You 3 have got a full pair each...

so you can save the penny

and walk, and be thankful.

The Rockefeller family

we are not.

At least you get to go to school.

I still have to do lessons

with Garnie...

and take an extra walk

at lunchtime every day.

If I have to look at the dolls houses

in the museum one more time...

...I shall be sick.

- That 's enough, Miss Madam.

All over my outdoor shoes. Then

I shan't be able to go anywhere.

We've had more fuss from

Miss Posy about her education.

Cromwell House is out

of the question, isn't it?

It 's not just that I can't send Posy

to Cromwell House.

I'm having to take

the other two away.

I'll have to give notice to Clara.

There's no money left.

Nothing in the bank at all.

- I'm so sorry.

- Why are you apologising?

- It 's not news.

- Isn't it?

You've been looking through

Situations Vacant in the papers.

I didn't think you'd notice.

I brought you up.

I notice everything.

The trouble is, Nana...

unless somebody advertises

for a paleontologist 's assistant...

I'm not qualified for anything!

There's a way round everything,

if you stop and think.

- I've finished my fractions.

- Already?

They were

the hardest in the book!

She'll have to sit there quietly

with her magazine.

You can't be setting anymore sums.

You've got to go to Selfridge's

and get those eiderdowns.

Petrova, darling, would you go?

You're only reading.

- Good afternoon.

- I like your car!

How are you

finding the acceleration?

Terrific.

Nought to 4O in about 3 minutes.

- Is your mother at home?

- We haven't got a mother.

It 's all right, you don't have

to say you're sorry.

How do you do?

I've just come about the room.

Do come in.

Forgive me,

I was trying to clean a fireplace.

I don't know how long I'd stay.

I've only just got back

from Kuala Lumpur.

Well, there's no minimum agreement.

This is nice.

I could put photographs on here.

Good afternoon.

- Have you come about the rooms?

- With particular regard to shelves.

And smoking.

I'm Dr. Smith.

This is Dr. Jakes.

Do come in.

Rather smart.

Just as I expected.

Come in.

Nana said you might need this.

Oh, how kind!

Thank you, my dear.

We've both had lengthy careers

in academia.

- It adds up to quite a lot of books.

- Most of them hers.

I specialise in Shakespeare.

Dr. Smith is a mathematician.

Where do you go to school, child?

We don't. Garnie, our guardian,

teaches us from home.

Good God! That must be dull.

Although it is quite an adventure,

having relatives by accident.

And such a unique name!

Fossil? I suppose it is.

I always found Smith

such a beast of a moniker.

Try doing anything

remarkable with that.

And heredity is such a burden. If I

made the name Jakes worthwhile...

people would think it was

because of my grandfather.

Who knows what you three

might achieve!

You ought to try and do

something for your country.

"Fossil" would look splendid

in the History books.

What do you think she meant

by "History books"?

I'm not sure.

I suppose they meant giving some

sort of service to our country.

We ought to make a vow.

- A vow?

- To our country?

A promise. To ourselves.

Like this.

Put your hands on mine.

We three Fossils vow...

to put out name

in the History books.

Because it is uniquely ours

and ours alone.

And no-one can say

it 's because of our grandfathers.

We vow.

We vow.

We vow.

- Posy!

- Ow!

Why do you do that?

What 's that?

I shall be out every day

from 8 till 19:
3O.

I bathe 3 times a week

and I never eat breakfast.

Sprung floor!

Was this a ballroom?

Not while I've been living here!

Do you like to dance too, dear?

Perfect!

Come along.

The more the merrier!

Tango!

Come here, little one.

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