Barbarella

It's a wonder...

...Wonder Woman...

You're so wild and wonderful

'Cause it seems whenever...

...we're together...

...the planets all stand still.

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Barbarella's psychedelia...

...there's a kind of cockle shell

about you.

Barbarella... Bar...Barbarella.

You dazzle me with rainbow

colors...

Fade away the duller shade

of living...

Get me up high...

Teach me to fly...

Electrify...

A night with starry light...

...above the stratosphere.

Bring your dearness near

Till the dawn comes tumbling down

Don't make a sound.

Every word we need

comes from the sky.

Can't you read my mind

Sayin' love

Don't you give me a cold shoulder

Still I'm dying, girl, to hold you

And make love...

...love...

Barbarella's psychedelia...

...never can a fella name

or clone you...

Barbarella Bar...Barbarella

Stand by for a message

from Dianthus...

...President of Earth and

Rotating Premier of the Sun System.

- Barbarella?

- Mr. President.

- Love!

- Love!

Just a minute.

I'll slip something on.

Don't trouble yourself..

This is an affair of state.

What I must say not only is grave...

It's a secret.

A secret?

Have you ever heard of a young

scientist named Duran Duran?

- Yes.

- Recently en route to the North Star...

...he vanished into

the uncharted regions of Tau Ceti.

But... why is that a secret?

Because Duran Duran is the inventor

of the Positronic Ray.

- It's a weapon.

- Weapon?

Why would anyone want

to invent a weapon?

How should I know?

The universe has been

pacified for centuries, sir.

As far as we know. Yet we know

nothing of Tau Ceti or its inhabitants.

Could they still be in a primitive

state of neurotic irresponsibility?.

Precisely. And if they learn

from this young scientist...

...the secret of the Positronic Ray...

...they will be able to shatter

the loving union of the universe.

- That might mean archaic insecurity...

- And war.

- You mean selfish competition and...

- I mean war.

- Bloody conflict among entire tribes.

- I don't believe it.

Neither do I.

But we can't take a chance.

- Something must be done.

- Yes. You're the girl who must do it.

- Why me?

- I have no armies or police.

I can't spare the presidential band.

Plus, you're a 5-star Astro-Navigatrix.

Your mission then:

Find Duran Duran...

...and use your incomparable talents

to preserve the security of the stars...

...and our own motherplanet.

How do you read me?

- Straight.

- Here's the one known photo of Duran.

Age 26. Hazel eyes.

A rather handsome fellow.

I don't think I'll be able

to recognize him, sir.

Now, this is a

portable brainwave detector.

Attention...

Set your atom transmitter at 0-3-5.

- Positive.

- Object in transit.

Object received.

In order to test for Duran Duran's

presence, simply press this contact.

- Light will glow. The alarm will sound.

- It has a built-in tongue box.

Here is something you may need.

- It's a weapon?

- For self-preservation.

We borrowed it from

the Museum of Conflict.

That's my good girl.

One day, Barbarella...

...we must meet in the flesh.

Thankyou. And... Iove!

Love!

Armed... Like a naked savage.

Alpha 7 to Base... Alpha 7 to Base.

We leave the Zone of Solar Attraction

in 7 minutes. Acknowledge.

Base to Alpha 7. Acknowledge.

Prepare for acceleration

into temporal space.

Acceleration into temporal space...

Continuum now beginning.

Alphy, when do we get to

the Tau Ceti gravitational field?

elapses Earth Time.

Right.

- Wake me up in 154 hours.

- Confirmed.

- Good night, Alphy.

- Confirmed.

De-acceleration looks in line...

Barbarella rise and shine.

Prepare to insert nourishment.

End of course in

temporal acceleration in 7 seconds.

Alphy... It's Tau Ceti.

- What's happening?

- Magnetic disturbances.

Magnetic disturbances?

Emergency systems!

All emergency systems

will now operate.

- Our magnetic screens are dead!

- Force of magnetic hurricane is 11.9.

Gyro compass is not, repeat,

not functioning.

- You mean you can't navigate?

- That is correct.

I'll switch it to manual.

What are our chances?

Our present possibilities

of non-destruction...

...are 0.00002 to 10,000.

My number 2 stabilizer

has been damaged.

- Where am I?

- That's what I was going to ask you.

Planet 16 in the system Tau Ceti.

Air density 0.051.

Cool weather with the possibility

of stormy precipitations.

Analysis of the atmosphere:

terrestial with a mild excess of oxygen.

I count 600324 molecules

per cubic millimeter.

Well, at least I'll be able to breathe.

What marvelous little girls! Hi!

Do you speak English?

Parlez-vous franais?

Wait, let me adjust my tongue box.

Must be a Galactic 5 dialect.

But I haven't skied in ages!

But that's Duran Duran's spaceship!

Hi!

Listen, children, this game is amusing,

but it's gone too far.

I don't want to hurt you. I want to know

some things about this spaceship.

Come on, untie me

or I'll call your parents.

That's very sweet, but I...

No!

Help!

Help!

Stop!

Hello!

Thank you!

No!

I can't understand.

Parlez-vous franais?

Better adjust my tongue box.

Are you all right?

I think so... Who are you?

I am Mark Hand, the catchman.

And who are you?

I'm from the Planet Earth. Tell me

what you know of this spaceship.

I know nothing. It was here when I

accepted the job of the catchman.

- Catchman?

- Yes. Children live on icy Weir...

...until they have reached

a serviceable age.

- Serviceable?

- Then I capture them just as you saw.

- I turn them over to the authorities.

- I see.

Thank you.

Ever heard the name Duran Duran?

I know nothing. I live alone on icey

Weir. Such is a catchman's life.

Only in Sogo will you find

the answer to your question.

- Sogo? Is it near?.

- It's just beyond that ice-deck.

Did I see your spacecraft

at the far edge of this lake?

Yes, but I'm afraid it's broken down.

- Magnetic storms ruined my stabilizer.

- Perhaps, I can help.

I'm quite experienced mechanically.

I service and maintain this icecraft.

- If you wish, I'll take you to your ship.

- But there's no wind.

Hold on.

- What a lovely cabin!

- Wind.

I'm so grateful for your help.

How can I ever thank you?

I'm sure my government

would repay you.

If there's anything I can do,

please tell me.

You could let me make love to you.

- Make love?

- Yes.

You don't even know

my psycho-cardiogram.

On earth people don't make love...

...unless their psycho-cardiograms

are in perfect confluence.

You asked me what you could do

for me. And I told you.

All right.

But I don't see what good it will do.

- Do you have any pills?

- Pills?

- Never mind, I have some here.

- What is this pill?

An exaltation transference pill,

of course.

- I know nothing of this.

- I see.

On earth when our psycho-cardiograms

are in harmony for lovemaking...

...we take

an exaltation transference pill.

And remain like this.

Here let me show you.

For one minute or

until full rapport is achieved.

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