Bebe's Kids AKA Robin Harris' Bebe's Kids Page #2

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with me and my son,

you should take us somewhere

more appropriate, like...

...oh, Fun World.

- Fun World.

- Yeah.

- So I said, "No problem.

- "I'll pick y'all up Saturday at 10."

- No.

Y'all know me,

I'm an old-fashioned type of guy.

I didn't have to get a kiss that night.

Yeah, that night.

But wait till he spends some money.

Look at this cheap thing.

So I goes to pick her

up the next day.

She got three more kids with her.

- What's this? What's this?

- These are children.

Wait. You said you had a kid.

These are BeBe's kids.

This is LaShawn.

Oh, critter number one.

I ought to beat the... Oh.

- This is Kahlil.

- What's up?

- What's up?

- Kind of militant.

You a Farra-Chaka Khan?

- Come on, man, give it up.

- OK. That's OK. Hey!

- Man, you don't know how to shake?

- I said...

That's pitiful. Old man like you.

Look at this.

Look like a broken-down spring.

I ought to slap you with the

two fingers I got left.

What the?

- And this is little Pee Wee.

- Pee Wee, the O.G.

O. G? I'll slap my F-O-O- in your B-U-T.

Oh, my goodness. Those aren't

double-knit pants, are they?

Trying to bring it back, huh?

What is this?

- So where's BeBe?

- She went downtown.

So how come she didn't take

her little tribe with her?

Don't worry about it, she left $20

to get her kids into Fun World.

BeBe left $20.

Twenty dollars ain't enough

gas to put in my car.

He don't look too happy to

see us, do he, LaShawn?

She left $20 here, for me to take

these 80 kids out. Ain't that a...

Come on, Robin. The kids can't wait.

I can't either.

This going to be fun.

Hey, look. What's up with all those?

- Ma!

- Don't be a tattletale.

And make us lose the little

respect that we do have for you.

- What's wrong, Leon?

- Nothing.

Man, why you always

messing with me?

- Because she like you.

- I do not.

- It's just because...

- She thinks you cute.

I ain't going with no runt like Leon.

She can't wait for you to grow up.

I had enough of you.

- Hey, break it up back there!

- Hey, don't worry, honey.

Once we get there,

everything will be just fine.

Just fine.

Come on, Leon. Wake up,

sweetie. We almost here.

Wake up, kids.

Robin, you can slow down

now, we're here.

Robin!

Robin, wake up!

Thank you, ma'am.

You have a fun time, now.

Step out of the car.

Now, sir, you came to

quite an abrupt stop.

Carrying any illegal substances?

- Concealed fruits?

- Hey! Hey!

- Vegetables?

- No, I left that at home with the gun.

Stay right there.

Trying to make me feel

like a king, huh?

Everyone's king

at Fun World, sir.

Don't even try it.

God, I hate kids.

Ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls,

welcome to Fun World.

Thirty-five dollars?

That's for the whole group, right?

One, two, three, four, five.

Jamika, give me that $20 BeBe left.

Say.

Well, look what we have here.

- Are you starting trouble?

- Definitely a troublemaker.

He's a 4-15 in progress.

Back off my tip. I was just

getting a drink of water.

- Watch that hostile attitude.

- We'll ask the questions, kid.

What's this on your hat?

It looks like some sort of gang insignia.

Look, I ain't in no gang,

now give me back my hat.

I said, give me back my hat.

You just remember,

we'll be watching you.

You troublemaker delinquent.

Hundred ninety-seven...

...ninety-eight...

...ninety-nine...

...two hundred!

Don't act like you don't want it.

What do you say to Mr. Harris, kids?

- F...

- Thank you.

Here are your tickets,

programs, maps,

senior-citizen discount cards,

tennis shoes, a basketball, mugs,

decals, bumper stickers,

coupons, napkins,

swizzle sticks, visor,

sweat band and a T-shirt.

Please familiarize and observe

the rules while in Fun World.

No running, no jumping, no yelling,

no cutting in line, no grumbling,

no stealing.

That means you.

No breaking things and putting

them back like nothing happened.

No sad faces, bad attitudes,

introspective moments,

irritation at the mindless

happiness of the masses.

And... no littering.

Is that clear? Enjoy your stay.

All right, don't run around

and work up an appetite.

I ain't feeding you little heathens.

And don't touch a damn thing!

Found mine.

How come we can't

never find our name?

Yeah, I know four girls

named LaShawn.

How come we don't have

a license plate? Kahlil?

Warning. You have activated

a maximum-security system.

Do not panic.

Excuse me, sir,

but I have to charge you for the items

your kids manhandled in the store.

Oh, where did Pee Wee go?

I ain't saying jack.

Oh, you ain't going to talk, huh?

Come here!

You don't tell me where your little

brother is, I'll beat the black off you.

You gonna look

lighter than Michael Jackson.

Where is he? Where is he?

But we was just playing.

Other kids are playing too.

Start up again, I'm going to drop you

like a bad habit. You hear that?

- Yeah.

- Test-tube baby.

Can we eat? Man, I'm hungry.

We were too excited to have breakfast.

Yeah, that's it.

BeBe don't keep nothing in her fridge.

I tell you, Jamika, that BeBe,

she's getting on my nerves.

I ain't even met the child.

Look at these poor children.

Look at them, starving.

They be better off in Ethiopia.

Mama said knock you out

I'm gonna knock you out

Mama said knock you out

Hello, Robin. Long time, no see.

Hi, Dorothea.

I been meaning to call you,

but my phone got shut off.

Funny, I always get your

machine when I call.

Oh, I can get incoming,

but I just can't dial out.

Don't worry. I'm not gonna sweat

you for my alimony check.

I'm just here to have fun.

Just like you.

Oh, Robin. This is my friend Vivian.

Oh, Lord, not another one.

Damn.

Quite an appetite you got there.

Oh, yeah, well, you know,

I came with some people.

- Well, that was quick. Was I so...

- Dorothea.

I gotta go. Food's getting cold.

Food ain't the only thing

cold around here.

You know he still love you.

Was she born to torture me?

Look at her.

Can't even wear high-heel shoes. Just

sliding and sliding all over the place.

Smoke coming out, look like

a train coming down a aisle.

I remember one time she

went into Lane Bryant.

"I would like to see

something to fit me."

Sales lady looked at her,

said, "Me too."

Seeing that skeezer made me feel

even better about being with Jamika.

- She's about something.

- What about the kids?

The kids? You kidding me?

Those kids must have

missed a few meals.

They were eating so fast...

...I had to spit on my food

to keep them from taking mine.

Sorry about that there.

So then I took them on

the scariest ride in the park.

And that kept them behaved.

Yes! Yeah!

No. No. No. No!

Y'all smell something?

Pee Wee, is that you?

Jamika, this is the last

time I take you...

...and these crazy kids...

...anywhere!

Slow down, slow down, slow down.

Bye, Leon.

Hey, this is fun, right?

OK, you can pull the cord now.

The cord. Pee Wee!

You mean this cord right here?

What's the matter? Can't hang?

I'm just glad it didn't happen

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