Bebe's Kids AKA Robin Harris' Bebe's Kids Page #3

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on the roller coaster,

because you would have got me too.

- Thank you, Mr. Harris.

- Oh, you welcome, son.

Just lay off them chili dogs.

Come on, boy. Clay, Kyle,

whatever your name is, you next.

Father faker.

Since the kids started acting civilized,

we let them go off on their own.

And me and Jamika took

a little boat trip.

Mama, I want to go with you.

You can't be with us now, sweetie.

Now, just run along and

play with your friends.

Friends? Those are not my friends.

I hate when you babysit BeBe's kids.

Why couldn't we go

to Fun World alone?

Oh, honey.

Leon, come here.

Now, I know you don't like BeBe's kids.

I don't like them kids either.

But you all don't have

to like each other.

But they do have to respect you.

Now, that's something I can't

make them do, Leon.

You have to do it for yourself.

- How do I get respect?

- Easy.

Don't worry about what

they think about you.

Just do what you do best,

and then you'll win respect

on your own terms.

- That's it?

- Yeah.

Oh, and one other thing.

If you get into a fight, don't fight fair.

Get a brick and knock

the hell out of them kids.

Robin, I heard you.

All right, little man.

Have a good time.

And remember what I said.

Bye, Mama.

Thanks, Mr. Harris.

I don't mean to get in your business,

but maybe you should sign Leon

up for some karate classes.

That boy kind of soft.

Step right up, young fellow.

Give it a good hit, now.

If that's the best you can do, you'll

have to come back in a couple years.

Come on now, move along.

Move along.

Who will be next to test their

strength? Step right up.

Look who's back. Little Leon.

Welcome back, weenie.

Oh, yeah, here he is, the weenie man.

You ready? I thought you was gonna

hang around your mama leg all day.

At least my mama's here.

Well, your mama ain't

gonna be here to catch you

when I knock you out,

so you better watch your mouth

because you're talking

about our mama.

- Yeah.

- What's up with that, man?

Hey, kids! Time for another

Cartoon Cavalcade

at Fun World Playhouse

on Flea Street.

With plenty of free popcorn.

Come on, let's get a good seat.

Don't try to change the subject.

So, what up with that? Y'all

gonna scrap or give a hug?

Go on, kiss her.

We got them good.

Look at that expression on her face.

- Mack daddy, Leon.

- Oh, yeah, player of the year.

You got it going on, baby, like no other.

You guys play too much, man.

I'm gonna get you guys, you know

I don't like kissing boys.

I'm gonna get you two.

No wonder they going so much faster.

Get some of this food off the boat.

- Well, I need it to live.

- Get that chicken out your purse.

You really have been sweet

with the kids today, Robin.

- Jamika, is BeBe your sister?

- No.

Is she your cousin?

Is her man your loan shark?

BeBe is a friend.

Shoot, I would want somebody to help

me if I had problems like she does.

They got correctional facilities for

problems like that, Jamika.

They just need a strong

man in their life.

- You got any kids?

- Nope.

- Ever been married?

- Next question.

Do you want kids?

Hell, no!

Especially if they turn out to

be like BeBe's kids.

But you know, you're

really good with them.

Not that I like you for the kids.

I like you.

Sometimes it just don't seem like the

right things happen to the right people.

Or the right people just don't be

at the right place at the right time.

Yeah, like the white people

on Arsenio's band.

- Robin, I mean BeBe.

- Hold up, Jamika.

That's enough talk about BeBe.

I only know one thing.

I'm definitely in the right place,

at the right time.

Right now.

Just scoot them baby hips over.

Boy, you crazy.

Hey, y'all can't leave me,

the little O.G.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

- Hey, man, are you out of your mind?

- Hey Kahlil, over here.

Hey, up here. Down here.

Hey, Pee Wee, I froze you.

It's too hot to stay froze.

Oh, I see a popsicle coming now.

- Where are your parents?

- Yeah. Your mommy and daddy.

Where you think they at? Over

your parents' house playing pinochle.

Another smart remark and you'll

be ejected from Fun World.

Understand?

Unsupervised minors are

prohibited from engaging

in unauthorized leisure activities.

- Yeah, no laying around.

- Shut up.

- I do all the talking.

- All right.

We weren't in anybody's way, OK?

The issue is not obstruction

of walkways.

Oh, so you trying to say

we can't play freeze tag?

Correct. However, we have

a variety of engrossing...

Yeah, real scary.

...exhibits designed for

your age demographic.

Allow me to escort you

to my personal favorite.

- Follow him.

- Get your hands off me.

Let's go, people.

- Safety first.

- Strap them in tighter.

- Good night, Gracie.

- All clear here.

We're on our way

back to headquarters.

Everything is A-OK.

Halt. No one under 17 admitted

without parent or guardian.

- Just as I suspected.

- Just as we suspected.

- Get those kids!

- Oh, no!

- Way to go, Leon.

- Yeah, I knew you had it in you.

I knew you had a little BeBe in you.

All right!

- Wow. Who are you guys?

- We BeBe's kids.

- BeBe's kids?

- Yeah. We don't die, we multiply.

- All right.

- Who's he?

- He's just a punk.

- Man, I ain't no punk.

- Oh, so you down, then?

- Yeah. For whatever.

Hey, yo. Can we be BeBe's kids?

No, punk. But you can

hang with us for a while.

- Yeah, all right.

- That's cool, dude.

- What's your name, man?

- My name's Winthrop.

Winthrop? No, man,

we calling you Opie.

- My name's Richie.

- Like the comic book Richie?

Damn, you guys

got some corny names.

What's your name?

I'm the jaw breaker, the candy taker

And if I skip school I'm the flu faker

Original man in a strange land

You never saw my butt

On American Bandstand

The MC's name is Kahlil

And if you can't spell it

You never will

Allah the provider

For the flavor you're lacking

But if you stop my flow

Start straight jacking

Look.

Straight jacking

Straight, straight

Straight jacking

I'm LaShawn

No, not Latifah

Demanding the mike just like Aretha

Cute little girl but I fight like a man

I even made

Iron Mike Tyson say "Damn!"

LaShawn, Kahlil and Pee Wee

Want R-E-S-P-E-C- Never slipping, or sliding

No macking or slacking

BeBe's kids, straight jacking

We've got an assault

on characters in Section Five.

Order received.

Shorty

The O. G. With all the clout

Lip smacking

For what's under the blouse

Three years old

And still drinking Similac

You smack me

And I'll smack you back, punk

So now it's time for me

To straight jack y'all

And get busy like Arsenio Hall

Taking a dump can be so relaxing

Straight jacking

Hi, boys and girls,

I'm Rodney Rodent.

And I'm Tommy Toad.

How are you doing today?

It goes three for the treble

And two for the bass

We're BeBe's kids

And we're wrecking this place

Now all bad kids

Seem to always get spanked

But try that with us

And you might get ganked

Release the balloons

And act real funny

As we ride rides

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