Bebe's Kids AKA Robin Harris' Bebe's Kids Page #5

---

Y'all say I'm wild

But I'm only a child

What BeBe's kids really need is

Freedom

Freedom

Freedom

Freedom!

Now it's time to rest my case

And get the verdict face to face

Wave your hands so we can see them

Wave your hands

Like you don't need them

If you believe Kahlil is right

Somebody say freedom

Oh, girl, you got to try

on this blush.

I got enough makeup.

Now, you stop it, now. I look good.

Yeah, but you got to put these

big red circles on your cheeks.

Make them look like targets.

I don't wanna look like Shirley Temple.

Ain't you done yet? Let's go.

In a minute.

Ain't nobody looking at you. Come on.

That's them. I can tell

by them Lee Press-On toenails.

Look who's with her. Old Vivian with

the skippys with the broke-down back.

Give me a break.

I see some women

can't do anything without a man.

Why you lie on me?

Don't you know this kind of game

only brings me and Jamika closer

and guarantees that you and I

never get together again. Never!

For me to lie on you

I'd have to care about you

and believe me, I don't give

a damn about y'all.

Ain't that a... That's why I wear

my ring on the wrong finger,

because I married the wrong woman.

- Hair look like the back of a toaster.

- Your mama.

- My mama?

- Your whole family.

Look at you. Your mama so old,

she was there the first day of slavery.

Your mama so old,

she's older than your grandmama.

Your mama so fat,

she on both sides of the family.

Your mama's so dumb, she thought

a quarterback was a refund.

Ain't that a... Your mama so dumb,

they told her it was chilly outside,

she went and got a bowl.

You ready to go, baby?

Come on, let's get out of here.

I think it's time to flush and leave.

You can have him. I don't have

a problem getting a man.

Well, girlfriend, here's some lotion

for your ashy ankles.

That'll make it even easier.

Your mama so country,

she got in an elevator

and thought it was a mobile home.

You know what that was all

about, right? He still loves you.

Robin, I'm so sorry.

Oh, Jamika, it doesn't really matter,

because I'm with you,

and this day turned out to be,

you know, kind of special to me.

Me too. I'm sorry

I put you on trial like that.

Oh, Jamika, you so crazy.

- Run!

- Come on, the cops are still after us.

We better get out of here.

Let's go. Let's go!

Now I've got them. Surrender now

and face moderate casualties.

- It's the end of the line for you kids.

- Hey, come on, this way.

Move. Excuse me.

Get out of the way.

Move, man.

Come on, come on.

Let's go, people. Out of our way.

I got...

Oh, no!

It looks like you missed the boat, huh?

- I'll be the captain.

- Oh, no. It's BeBe's kids!

Ahoy, mates. I spot a big old boat

to our starboard side

that's ready to get vicked.

Give me that. Let me see.

They're still after us.

What say you, crew?

- Are you down to take them off?

- Aye, aye!

Bust it, then.

As you enjoy

the last cruise on the Titanic

stop by the snack bar for flavor-icious

iceberg pops for you and your family.

We also have delicious popcorn...

Monsieur.

Robin, you are something else.

- Something...

- You so crazy.

Boy, I'm scared of you.

Look at you.

What was that?

I know it's them kids.

I know it's them kids.

If I could just touch

one of them, I would... Hey! Hey!

Robin? Robin?

Oh, my God! The boat! The boat!

Women and children...

Now what, captain?

- Ram them.

- All right!

- Come on, we gotta get out of here!

- Abandon ship!

We're experiencing difficulties,

but the snack bar's still open,

where they've got that finger...

They're gonna ram us!

We BeBe's kids.

We don't die, we multiply.

- Somebody help me!

- I'm right behind you.

Hey, wait for me.

Fun World.

- Robin, wait.

- Oh, no. I had enough of them kids.

I can't be around no bad people.

You know I'm on parole.

You ain't on parole.

Let's go get the kids.

I ain't stuttin' those kids.

If you were smart,

you'd come right along with me.

- I'll call for backup!

- Boat 73 going in.

Did you buy your kid

a Nintendo game this Christmas?

Did I buy my kid a Nintendo?

Give me a break, OK, kid?

- I don't think so.

- Look, we were going to, OK?

We were gonna... We were going to.

- What say you, crew? Should I?

- Shark food!

Next.

Don't try to leave them, Robin.

That's why they shot their daddy.

Come on.

Get out of the way. Get out of the way.

Get out of the way!

Gotta go. Gotta go.

It's my car. Where's my keys?

Ain't that a... Look out.

It ain't time to go.

Are you trying to leave us?

Fun World! Fun World!

- Fun World! Fun World! Fun World!

- Quiet down!

Hey, Ma, guess what we did?

We jumped out of a boat,

and then we cut

Tommy Toad's feet off.

Then we took over a pirate ship,

and then we saw another ship...

- Quit talking.

- Fun World.

- Home, blacky.

- Ain't that a...

- You messed up now. That's it.

- Fun World! Fun World!

LaShawn. Girl, have you gone crazy?

What's that funky smell?

Pee Wee, did you go again?

What's corn doing on the floor?

I ain't never been glad

to see cops before,

but I was sure happy then.

Happier than a runaway slave,

papers and all.

Help. Help. Help.

These kids are dangerous.

Boy got a knife bigger than Rambo's.

One kid got a Colt longer than Shaft's.

Boo!

Those are BeBe's kids.

I have had it. I am pissed off

to the highest level of pissivity.

Now, I'm taking these kids home now.

Not now, but right now.

- But BeBe isn't home yet.

- No, she's home. I know she's home.

And she's home getting her boots

smoked, just like you could be.

But you want to sit here

and watch these badass kids.

If she didn't want to watch them,

she shouldn't have had them.

She didn't have them

by herself, Robin.

What'd you say "Robin" for?

I ain't their daddy.

At least you recognize

that they do have one.

I don't see nobody shaking their heads,

pointing fingers at him.

What you wanna go and point

the finger at Old Slewfoot for?

I thought the devil was through

when he made Rosemary's babies,

but, oh, no,

now we got BeBe's kids.

Now, kids, what do you say

to Mr. Harris for the lovely trip?

Thank you very much.

They didn't wanna go with

four black kids in the first place.

So where we going

next week, Mr. Harris?

Next week? I'll take you

somewhere next week.

I'll take you to a snake pit.

Go, your mother's waiting for you.

Yo, wait up.

Hey, get back here.

Get back here with my stuff.

Hey, it better not

be nothing from my crib.

- I better walk them in.

- Let me walk them in,

because I want to give BeBe

a piece of my mind.

I could see why they spent

so much time at Jamika's house.

It looked like they live

next to a crack house.

Try to phone hell

from there, it'd be a local call.

Oh, hey.

Mommy?

The place looked like

MOVE headquarters.

Mommy?

Mama, are you home?

Mom, are you there?

What is this, another unpaid bill?

"Jamika, please give the kids dinner.

I'll be home soon. BeBe."

That girl crazy.

Y'all ain't got nothing in here to eat?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes