Beethoven's 4th

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Rise and shine!

Honey, 6:
45. Wow!

Oh, God.

It makes me look fat, doesn't it?

No, it makes you

look great.

- Really? Thank you, honey.

- Really.

Rise and shine.

Rise and shine.

Brennan. Time to get up.

- Brennan, look out!

- Huh! What happened?

Sorry.

Thought it was an earthquake.

First day of school, guy.

You know, Dad. I reviewed all

my classes last night on-line.

I could practically do the entire

seventh grade from my desk...

without actually ever

having to go to school.

- Wow.

- So, can I?

- Sure.

- Really?

When pigs fly!

- Morning, Daddy.

- Morning, honey. Nervous?

Nope. One sandwich, lettuce

and avocado, mustard only.

Sliced apple,

three cookies, a Jell-O,

string cheese,

a spoon and a napkin.

- And a blue ice block.

- What are you talking about?

- My lunch, Dad.

- Lunch. Right.

- Okay. Got it.

- Dad, relax.

Don't freak out on

your first Mr. Mom day.

- Oh.

- Lunches are easy.

I'll help you.

You'll get the hang of it. Go on.

- Go on.

- Okay.

Oh, no. Beethoven!

Oh, no.

Not again.

Honey, don't use the...

Who took the toilet seat?

Oh! Oh! Beethoven!

Come on, kids.

Let's go.

- See you, Beethoven. Take care of Dad.

- Bye, Beethoven.

- Brennan, you want to start the car?

- Yeah. Later, Dad.

- Bye, Dad.

- Bye, guys. Good luck.

Honey, you look great.

They're gonna love you.

Honey, don't forget.

- It's only till George comes back from Europe.

- I know.

But it just seems so unfair

that he's staying with us...

when there's so many skiers in

the Alps he could be rescuing.

Okay, wish me luck.

Good luck, but you're

not gonna need it.

Ohh! Aah!

- Ohh!

- Huh? Ugh.

Oh! You are

sleeping outside...

from now until eternity!

Splendid, splendid.

But you missed a spot.

Sorry, Mr. Simmons.

Yes, I should think so too.

Ah, Michelangelo.

Wakey, wakey.

It's breakfast time,

my lad.

What have we got?

Eggs and "bakie"? Ooh, not quite.

Vegetarian breakfast,

as usual.

There we are.

Lovely.

All done?

Eww.

- Morning, Dad.

- Morning, honey.

- Push enter.

- Enter?

Oh. Duh.

Thanks, honey.

It's a new portable modem.

Neat, huh?

- Yeah, Dad.

- All right. I'm hot.

I am very excited. I'm gonna

tell the design guys about this!

Dad, wait!

Dad! Dad, wait!

Dad!

Dad!

Wait.

Your socks don't match.

Oh. Well, when you own the company,

nobody mentions it.

But, Dad!

You said you'd push me

on my roller blades today. Remember?

Ohh! No.

I said tomorrow.

Yeah, but you

said that yesterday.

Good morning sir.

Microsedge stock is up 3 and 1/8th.

All right. That's good.

That's good.

Simmons, you hold down the fort

while I'm off making more millions.

As usual, sir.

Oh, no. Mr. Sedg...

Oh, no! Mr. Sedgwick!

I'm ready.

Morning, Michelangelo.

- Morning, Miss Sedgwick.

- Morning, Simmons.

Hey, good boy.

Here you go.

- I know you like it.

- Oh, no, please!

Miss Madison, no meat products.

You'll give him gas.

And that would be

most unpleasant.

Don't tempt Michelangelo,

Madison.

You know what his psychic

nutritionist said about bacon.

- One piece. She'll never know.

- She knows already.

Oh, I love breakfast!

I'll tell you, Simmons.

Buying Sedgefood. com

was the best thing Reg ever did.

Oh, yes, madam.

Convenience above all.

Mom, aren't you gonna have

some real breakfast?

I can't. I got a nude sit-in

against fur at 10:00.

Any extra weight is gonna be

pretty obvious in my birthday suit.

Simmons, call my attorney.

Have one of his people... a woman...

bail me out around 11:00.

Yes, ma'am.

- Mom, do I get to start riding lessons today?

- Oh, Madison.

I don't know. I have issues with

the whole humans-on-horses situation.

Well, then may I have

a friend over after school?

Not "may I," "can I"!

You empower yourself, Maddy.

- You don't need anyone's permission.

- Well, then can I?

No, because your personal trainer is

coming as soon as your reflexologist leaves.

And when he's done, you've got

an aromatherapy session.

We'll talk later. How do I look?

It doesn't matter.

It's all for the cause.

Bye! Bye!

Wanna pull me on my roller blades,

Michelangelo?

Shh. No, please.

Madison.

Not while Michelangelo

is meditating.

This doesn't belong

in a greeting card.

It belongs in a museum.

Hmm?

Roses are red,

violets are blue.

I'm sad and lonely

because of you.

- All right, it's lame.

I don't write this stuff.

But the illustration's good.

Huh? That's why they pay me

the low-to-medium size bucks.

This is the first

in a whole new line.

If they like this one,

I get 'em all.

Stay!

Do not touch anything.

Do not breathe on anything.

Ah. Ah.

Come to Papa.

Come to Papa. No!

Aah! Uhh! Uhh!

Ow! Ow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

Ow, ow, ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow!

This is a big

opportunity for me,

and now the painting's

a total loss.

After Brennan spent

so many hours posing for it.

Dad, he didn't mean to...

Sara, your father

has the floor.

- Richard, go ahead.

- My deadline was already tight, but now...

Oh, time's up, Dad.

The pot roast would have

been excellent.

- Well, the mac and cheese was tasty.

- Yeah.

Really!

Do you think you

can fix the painting?

In time,

which I don't have.

Plus, it sort of hurts

to hold a paintbrush.

Well, that brings us

to new business.

I had a few extra minutes

at work today,

and I decided

to run some numbers.

As you can see,

"B.B."means

"Before Beethoven. "

"A.B."means

"After Beethoven. "

Now, I really think

the chart speaks for itself.

This dog is really

costing us,

and I didn't even figure in

the latest fiasco.

- Point of clarification?

- Yes.

- What's a fiasco?

- It's a disaster, a debacle, a farce, a breakdown.

Oh.

Oh, honey.

I know you've gotten attached

to Beethoven. I mean, we all have.

But I just don't think there's

enough room in this household...

for a dog like Beethoven.

In fact, I don't think

there's a household...

with room enough in the entire universe

for a dog like Beethoven.

Sorry, Mom. Time's up.

I guess that concludes

the family meeting!

Well...

I love these intimate

family gatherings.

What do you think Mom meant by

the house not being big enough?

Well, I think it means she's thinking

about getting rid of Beethoven.

Come on. Get over it. I mean,

he's not even our real dog anyway.

I know. You don't

have to remind me.

Well, maybe now's a good time

to hit 'em up for a new pet.

Something a little smaller,

like a cow?

Ha-ha.

Uh-oh.

Phoebe's out.

- I wish we brought Beethoven.

- Oh, no, the gate.

- Beethoven!

- Beethoven, help!

Brennan!

What do we do?

Look.

- Yes!

- Come on, Sara. Let's go.

Thanks, Beethoven.

Come on, boy.

We can't let him go.

We need a plan.

Okay, okay. Give me a couple of days,

and I'll think of something.

That's okay.

I was... finished.

Guess what, Sara. I'm about

to put the cookies in the oven.

Mmm, they're gonna be warm and chewy,

and you can't have any!

Sorry, Dad.

Current events.

Oh, no!

Who let the dog in?

You're not helping

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