Beethoven's 3rd Page #5

# Like a band of Gypsies

we go down the highway #

# We're the best of friends #

# Insisting that the world keep turning

our way # No, Beethoven. Don't do that!

Just get him away.

# And our way #

# Is on the road again #

# I just can't wait

to get on the road again #

# And I found love is making

music with my friends #

# And I can't wait

to get on the road again #

Oh! Oh!

You fed him what?

Oh, look at this!

He burned a hole in the couch.

Who fed him eggs?

# On the road again #

Beethoven! # Like a band of

Gypsies we go down the highway #

# We're the best of friends #

- # Insisting that the world keep turning our way #

- Beethoven!

# And our way

is on the road again #

# I just can't wait

to get on the road again #

# And I found love is making

music with my friends #

# And I can't wait

to get on the road again #

# No, I can't wait

to get on the road again #

# Oh, I can't wait

to get on the road again ##

Oh!

It's totally clogged

with dog hair!

We have to fnd the main

Junction sewage control.

That's the only way we're gonna

dump the waste water now.

- Can I just say one thing?

- Yes, you can.

And you know what you can say?

You can say,

"I will not open my big fat mouth,

Tommy, until we fnd the DVD!"

Tommy, listen, we have been following

those Newtons for a very long time now.

Duh, whiney pants.

You think I don't know that?

Well, I don't know what you know,

'cause you said it was gonna be so easy.

So help me God, if you don't

shut up, I will make you eat sand.

What are we doing?

We are having a problem.

Yeah, yeah, I know that! It's been like

a week, and we don't have the DVD yet!

I will make you eat sand!

We're having tire trouble!

We're not having tire trouble.

The tires are perfectly fne.

You just pulled over

and jacked up the car why?

You popped two tires,

and we only have one spare.

Lord, you gave him brains,

but he does not think.

You gave him a mouth

which he never shuts up!

Listen to me,

you brussels sprout.

With two slashed tires,

it's twice as likely...

that the Newtons will

pull over to help us.

So, we will

wave them down,

ask them to take us

to the nearest gas station,

and while we are on board the RV we will

take the disc without anyone knowing.

Blast off!

What? What, what?

Your plan is brilliant, Tommy. I'm,

I'm, I'm sorry that I doubted you.

Oh, it's okay. I know.

It's just I need coffee.

You know, Dad, I was thinking it might

be fun to stay at a hotel for a night.

No way.

They don't let in pets.

The RV's a hotel on wheels.

I don't know, Dad.

I just thought it might be fun.

And I found this really

fun-looking place.

A four-star hotel.

Doesn't that sound great?

No. They don't

let in pets.

- Ohhh.

- Begin the countdown.

Ten! Nine!

Wave your arms.

Wave your arms.

Eight!

What's this sudden

interest in hotels?

Down, boy!

Get him off the brake!

The brake!

Sara, honey, you can't let Beethoven do

things like that. It's very dangerous.

Oh, here it is.

- Here's what?

- The main sewage control valve.

Oh, boy,

I'm glad I found that.

When we get to the next campground,

remind me to dump the tanks...

or it's gonna get

really stinky in here.

It's number two!

Sara, how far

to the next stop?

Only about ten miles, Dad.

Oh, you're gonna love this,

Brenn. This place is rad.

Rad? It's the biggest

toy train in the world.

Boy, I loved it

when I was a kid.

Wow, Dad.

I can't wait.

This is so lame.

Let's go, Beethoven.

The kids are really

getting attached to Beethoven.

I think they like him better than they

like me. Nah, I'm just being insecure.

Not necessarily. Thanks,

honey. I feel better now.

You know, Richard, I think that dog is

consciously trying to sabotage our trip.

Beth, he's just a dog.

Honey, he can't

consciously ruin anything...

I don't think.

Nah, that's crazy.

What would his motive be?

Revenge,

for the kennel thing.

You know, one thing about him

does bother me, though. Hallelujah.

How do you think Brennan

and Sara are gonna take it...

when we have to give Beethoven

back to my brother?

That's gonna be a tough one. Yeah.

This is smaller

than I remember.

Whoa!

Yes. Bill. Bill!

Tommy!

What happened?

Tommy, come here.

It is so nice in here.

Beethoven, stop!

Hey! Beethoven!

It has a coffee maker! When we

get rich, can we get one of these?

Yeah, uh-huh. Look, do you have any idea how

easy it is for cops to track down an RV this size?

They will swoop down on you

in a hot second,

and the next thing you know, you're spending

15 to 20 years as the restroom attendant...

at a one-star Federal lockdown facility

cleaning unflushed toilets with a toothbrush.

Club-Fed I think not.

I never thought of that.

Well, thinking is not what

you do best, William. No.

Fetch the DVD.

Yes.

Oh. Oops.

I- I'm not having much luck.

Oh, who told you we'd

find it? Yes! You did.

You da man!

Yes, I am da man!

Let us vacate.

Tommy! He looks

even bigger up close.

Yes, he does, William.

Why didn't you close that door?

You were the last one in.

Here's an idea... run!

Let me out of here!

Oh, God, let me out!

Tommy!

Hey! Out of the way!

Tommy!

Wait!

No!

Tommy, wait!

Oh, thanks!

Now what are we gonna

do? It's-It's not so bad.

The windshield

is broken. Richard.

Not your side.

I don't know what I'm so worried

about. You got insurance on the RV.

We're covered. We're motoring

along. It's still a vacation.

Good, honey.

That's a good attitude.

No, it's not. It's a lie.

This is a disaster.

This whole trip has become a

catastrophe because of that dog!

He didn't mean it, Mom.

Yes, he did!

Mom, Dad, you know that

hotel I was mentioning?

It's pretty close by.

We are not staying

in a hotel.

I didn't stay in a hotel on my childhood motor

home trip, and we ain't staying in one now.

We're fine right here in our

home on wheels! Everyone got that?

Whoa.

I think Beethoven has to go.

- Honey, you agree?

- No, I mean number one.

- Stop the RV.

- Oh, no, not ag...

Heimlich! Heimlich!

Make sure Beethoven goes good, 'cause we're

not stopping again until we get to California!

All I wanted to do is give

my family a great vacation.

It's been one disaster

after another.

This is even worse than the motor

home vacation I had as a kid.

- What?

- I thought you loved that trip.

I hated it.

Well, then why do you keep

telling us how much you loved it?

Because I wanted

to remember it that way.

I wanted to forget

how bad it really was.

And the truth is...

it was horrible.

My brother and I fought

the whole 2,000 miles.

And Spartacus, our dog,

was car sick.

Can you believe that?

A car sick dog.

It was horrible.

My mother...

My mother kept telling us how much fun we

were having, but we weren't having any fun.

My dad drove himself crazy

trying to make sure we had fun.

It's okay, Daddy.

We know how you feel.

Yeah, Dad.

We know exactly how you feel.

Oh, shut up!

- Ow!

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