Beethoven's 4th Page #5

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Oh. Uh,

bye, Beethoven.

Ah!

I knew it.

She'd never admit it

in a million years,

but she misses the slobbering

old Beethoven too.

Well, guess what, buddy.

He's coming back.

Just like Mama

used to make! Yeah!

Mr. Newton?

Are-Are you okay?

Sorry I brought

the Book Club!

Come on. Come on.

Ohh.

Ahh, a fragrant bouquet.

Yeah.

It's subtle, yet brazen.

Richard,

what are you doing?

Nothing. Why?

One, two, three.

Hit the deck!

Ahh, yeah!

Yeah!

Oh, no, you don't!

Come back!

Wow, Mom. I didn't know

you knew how to cook bacon.

Well, I'm sad to say there's

a lot about me you don't know.

Anyway,

it's not real bacon.

Really?

'Cause...

boy, it sure... it sure

tastes like the real stuff.

Oh! I thought

the three of us...

could take Michelangelo and try out

the trail by the reservoir.

- Cool. Okay.

- That would be cool.

Okay. I'll have Simmons

bring the car around.

I am here, sir.

Oh.

Nice job, Simmons.

Simmons,

bring the car around.

It would make my day, sir.

Nigel, it's me.

Me, you idiot.

Listen to me.

They're going hiking...

with the dog

at the reservoir.

No, not biking.

Hiking.

Yes. The dog.

Meet me at the reservoir.

Yes, right now, idiot.

I didn't want to dirty

any glasses.

Oh. Huh.

- Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

- Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

Guys, wait.

Honey, sit down here.

Beethoven and I have

something to show you.

- Say good-bye.

- What?

Go on.

Tell Beethoven good-bye.

Good-bye.

Ugh!

- Eww! I thought he was over that!

- Me too.

Slobber, drool everywhere.

Isn't it great?

Yeah, ask me again

when I dry off.

We were so close!

So close?

What do you mean?

Well, we didn't want to tell you

till it was over, but...

We've been taking Beethoven

to obedience school.

- What?

- Yeah.

Well, that explains

a few things.

Yeah. But why?

Why would you...

Because we wanted

to keep him.

And we figured if he was acting

better, then maybe we could.

Well, you did

a good job.

Yeah. Almost too good.

So, can we keep him?

Oh...

Okay, he can stay.

- Yes!

- All right!

Thanks, Mom!

Guess what.

- Beethoven's valedictorian of his class.

- No kidding?

Whoa!

Hey, where'd he go?

- He's drinking from the toilet!

- Oh!

He's downing

the whole bowl!

Keep drinking, boy.

I'm gonna get my sketch pad.

Brennan, go get Beethoven

out of the bathroom.

Right.

- That's weird.

- Yeah.

Whew!

All right. Come on.

There.

Look at him mark the trail, huh, Martha?

Those were the days.

You know, when I was a kid, my dad

took us all out west in a land yacht.

- What's that?

- A motor home.

- That sounds like fun.

- Oh, it was great fun.

How about you, boy?

Huh?

You've never been on vacation

in a motor home, have you?

Whoa!

Sir, I don't know if you saw the signs

back there, but it clearly said...

Get in the car! Get in the car!

Put on your seat belt!

Let's go! Go!

- Daddy!

- That's horrible!

- Stop it!

- He's got Michelangelo!

Yes, it is part of the F.B.I. internship

program. Look it up in the manual.

Now, listen. Two buttermilk,

two chocolate with rainbow sprinkles,

fourjelly-filled,

and go to Krispy Kreme.

We get a discount there.

Put the box in my car.

Yeah, with two coffees.

No sugar.

Uh, the car is registered

to someone named "Niggel Bigelow. "

Nigel. The car is registered

to Nigel Bye-jelow.

It's Nigel Bigelow.

Right.

Whatever.

Didn't even bother to remove

the plates from the vehicle.

That's pretty sloppy.

Now, the local cops have

his apartment staked out.

The problem is that he knows that we

made him, since he abandoned his vehicle.

So chances are that

he returns there are pretty slim.

- All we can do is sit and wait.

- I, um...

I hate to mention this

under the circumstances, sir,

but, uh, I do have

that doctor's appointment.

Oh, absolutely, Simmons.

You've done enough

for one day.

Uh, I mean, if that's

all right with you guys.

Yeah, sure, sure.

It's best to keep to a normal routine.

We don't think that Bigelow

has an accomplice,

but he could be

watching the house.

Very good, sir.

And, um,

thank you, sir.

Oh.

Here you are,

Miss Madison.

Well, cheerio.

Back! Back, dog! Back! Nice dog!

Back in your room. Back in your room.

Don't... Get... Don't... Get...

Don't... Don't... Don't...

Get back in the room!

Well, Nigel,

I see you have a firm command

of the situation, as usual.

You lied. You said

he weren't a killer.

He's not a killer.

You are an oaf.

- Yeah, whatever. Just get rid of him.

- Come on, Michelangelo.

And-And make sure you lock the door!

What are you doing with a chicken?

Oh, have I told you

how much I...

loathe giving you your kibble

morning, noon and night?

No?

Well, let me show you.

Lunch...

is served, sir.

Well,

that wasn't too

difficult, was it?

You can come down now, Nigel.

The killer doggie is safely put away.

Yeah, well, that's okay for you,

but the bathroom's in there,

and eventually, I'll have to use it.

Now listen to me.

If we can get through all this without

you leaping atop the furniture...

every time the dog decides

to behave like a dog,

then you can go to the bathroom on

the afternoon flight to Rio deJaneiro.

Why?

Oh, right. Yeah. Because we're

going to Brazil this afternoon.

Yeah, yeah, I remember.

I packed my maracas. I can use...

Shut up and read this.

It's your lines.

Glasses.

Oh, come on.

It wasn't me.

It was the whoopie.

Phone.

Hello?

- Hello?

- Speak clearly.

- Ransom note.

- The puppy, you twit!

I have your dog.

Put 250,000

in a plain paper bag...

behind the statue

in Civic Center Park.

No police. You have

till 4:
;00 "pumm"today.

P.M., you twit!

4:
00 p. m., you twit.

250,000 what?

- 250,000 dollars.

- Dollars?

- Dollars.

- By 4:
00?

And make it all

in unmarked...

twenty-dollar bills.

- I don't know if I can do that.

- If you ever want to see that mutt again,

you'll do exactly

what I say.

No police.

No mistakes.

You put him on the phone.

I want to talk to him.

- He's okay.

- All right. Just don't hurt him.

- Did you just...

- No. No, I didn't.

It was the dog.

4:
00 p. m.

You idiot.

- Where are you going?

- I'm going to the bank.

Hah!

I told him, didn't I?

Oh, yes.

You were superb.

Now, I have to leave.

Listen to me.

Are you listening

to me?

Yeah, I think.

Don't... let...

him... out.

Who?

The dog!

I got it. The dog.

I got it. Don't worry.

Don't worry.

He's not going anywhere.

- Look at him. He's so handsome.

- Yeah.

- Now I know why Brennan was so gung ho about this.

- Yeah, she's cute.

I wonder if she's the one

who's been doing his math homework.

Hey, how 'bout this?

"Dear master.

It's our anniversary.

I see you've raised your cup.

So I drink

a toast to us,

and will never leave

the seat up. "

- Be careful, honey.

- Yeah.

Is he gonna be all right?

He's gonna be all right, isn't he?

Tell me he's going

to be all right.

- Uh, congratulations.

- All right.

Thank you.

Come on.

Take a bite of this one.

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