Beethoven's Big Break

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(DOG BARKING)

(PAWS PATTERING)

(HUMMING)

You.

Don't you dare.

(GRUNTING)

Never.

Come back here, you mutt.

(BICYCLE BELL RINGING)

(EXCLAIMING)

(SCREAMING)

Hey, what... Hey, no! No!

(SCREAMING)

Ah-ha!

(GRUNTING)

Don't let him escape.

(GROANING)

(ALL GRUNTING)

Come on. Come on.

Come on.

Get him.

Come back here.

(ALL GROANING)

Get him!

The dog, the dog. Get the dog. My beret.

Careful. Be careful. Careful.

(SHOUTING)

(ALL GROAN)

(SQUEAKING)

Mark my words, I'll get you

someday. You! I'm gonna get you.

(PAWS PATTERING)

(BILLY SNORING)

(GASPS)

(SCREAMS)

Ah! I have been looking

all over for this guy.

Dad, are you trying

to give me a heart attack?

Billy, what have I told you

about playing with the animals?

Pete here isn't

just any lizard.

He's a professional actor.

And because you were horsing

around, he's late. So I'm late.

Horsing around?

Horsing around.

(SQUAWKS)

(CHIRPS)

(SQUEAKING)

(QUACKING)

Hey, guys. I found Pete.

Yay!

(SQUAWKING)

Hey, Sticky.

Breakfast.

I didn't forget

about you, Spencer.

Okay, everybody,

have a good day.

Come on, Dad.

You come on. We're late.

I've got to get to the set.

It's fine.

It still crackles.

Water?

Dad, really?

Hey, hey.

Go get it. Go get it.

Come on, Billy boy!

Let's go! Let's go!

Here you go, Pete.

How's my star?

Oh, yeah. Looking good.

Looking good.

Billy, come on!

You know, it's better to be an

hour early than a second late.

Success depends on it.

Maybe if I work

real hard I can be

the head lizard guy

on some dumb movie.

I'm sorry, what was that?

Nothing.

Mmm-hmm.

(ENGINE STARTING)

Okay, buddy,

what's with the attitude?

You have all these freaky

animals all over the place.

And all I want is a dog.

Billy, we've talked

about this.

Lots of people have dogs.

I don't know anyone else

who has a lizard as a pet.

Hey, that lizard

is not my pet.

That lizard is my iob.

We don't have

room for a dog.

We don't have

money for a dog.

At the very least, it'd be a

huge distraction for the training.

Dogs are pets,

and we don't have pets.

No dogs, buddy. I'm sorry.

Whatever, Dad.

Okay. Well,

have a good day,

and don't forget to check in with

Mrs. Hollinger when you get home.

I love

yOU.

"Yep. I love you too, Dad. "

Man.

(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

Hi.

Photo ID.

Really?

It's iust that I'm so late.

You know,

I work here every day.

Photo ID.

It's me.

Jerk.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

(GATE BUZZES)

Eddie. Eddie,

you're late!

Do you think

it's part of my job

to be waiting for my

assistant to show up?

I don't think so.

I'm sorry, Sal.

I had trouble

with the lizard.

Don't want the excuses.

I just want the lizard!

Now, did you

teach it a trick?

He's got it, all right.

It's a good trick.

Good trick.

Better be.

Better be. Let's go.

Almost time for

Frizzy's close-up.

(SIGHS)

Need to compose.

Yeah. That was 74, then 53A.

And make sure the props get set.

Director's on set.

Now, in this

scene Fanny...

LISA:
Frizzy.

What?

The dog's name is Frizzy.

What did I say?

Fanny.

Whatever. The dog

gets chased by a snake.

A lizard.

I thought we had a snake.

Snakes are too expensive.

Patricia made me re-write it.

What kind of picture

are we making, anyway?

It's a dog picture.

That is not a dog.

I grew up in the projects.

I know a rat when I see one.

She's a bichon fris.

What?

She's like a poodle, but not.

It's a metaphor for life's

struggle against conformity.

Look, I don't care what it

is. Let's just shoot this

so I can put the final nail

in the coffin of my career.

Sal?

Yes, Herr director.

Would you get the girly dog and

the snake so we could do this?

Absolutely, sir.

And, sir, I can't wait for you to see

the trick I just taught the lizard.

Very complicated.

I'm amazed I was

able to accomplish it.

Get the dog.

Yes, sir.

Who are you?

Are you on payroll?

I'm Eddie. I'm like the

assistant animal trainer.

Good for you.

So, is that it?

Hmm?

Yeah. That's Pete.

Pete?

Pete. Pete the lizard.

You wanna hold him?

No, no, no, no.

Can I see him, though?

Yeah. Sure.

Wow. He's so lizardy.

Yeah.

Pretty good-looking guy.

Hey, I think he likes you.

Oh, no. No.

Why? Why? Oh, the humanity.

What and why

are you yelling?

Frizzy, the bichon fris,

has been dognapped.

Why?

Hey!

What are you doing?

You stole my cookies!

You're not supposed

to eat the bag.

(BURPS)

I guess I don't mind

sharing with a friend.

Hey, what are you doing?

What are you doing?

Whoa!

(LAUGHING)

Cut it out.

KATIE:
Hey.

Oh. Hey, hey, hey.

Interesting dog.

He's not mine. Yeah.

He's iust some weird dog.

Oh.

Yeah. I don't even like him.

Hey, Katie! You coming?

Well, whoever's weird

dog it is, I like him.

Bye.

Bye. Bye.

That was the first time

she ever talked to me.

Am I dreaming?

"We want $1 million

or the bichon fris gets it. "

$1 million?

Why would we pay a ransom

when the wussy dog hasn't

shot one frame of film yet?

So we're talking a re-cast?

Marco, set up a casting

call for tomorrow.

We have to find a new star

for our film. Yes, ma'am.

Sal, you lost the dog,

cost us a day. You're fired.

Wait, wait.

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

But to tell the truth, it was my

assistant who was in charge of Frizzy.

He's the one

who left the door unlocked.

No. I'm in charge

of the lizard.

I never even met the dog.

I don't train dogs.

You probably orchestrated

the whole thing.

What? This guy?

This guy.

Okay. You're fired.

What? Me?

You heard our

fearless producer.

Remove yourself

from the premises immediately.

Sal, set up a casting call

for tomorrow.

We're literally

hemorrhaging money here.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Am I fired? 'Cause you firing

everybody and it make me nervous.

I haven't worked

since Good Tmes.

What are you

still doing here?

Well, I need to get

my things together.

My lizard's in make-up.

Get your things tomorrow.

For right now,

just get out of my sight!

Hey, Lizard Guy.

Sorry. I know

it wasn't your fault.

You're a ierk.

Why did you lie?

Show biz, Eddie.

It's show biz.

MAN:
Closing up.

Everybody off the stage, now.

BILLY:
Where are

you from, boy?

What's your name?

Spot? No spots.

Maybe you're like

Abracadabra or Banjo

or Quicksilver.

Or something.

We'll figure it out.

We'll find a good name

for you.

Hopefully one Katie likes.

I can't wait for you

to meet Dad.

(GRUNTING)

Oh!

Oops.

Thanks, boy.

Man, I'm missing the

top 10 video countdown.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

Dorks.

Hey, boy.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(BARKING)

What? What?

What's the matter?

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(BARKS)

Wow.

You like this music, huh?

I know what I can name you.

Wolfgang.

ANNOUNCER ON TV:
You're

watchng classc performances.

The Cleveland Orchestra peormng

Beethoyen's Fifth Symphony.

Beethoven.

That's who you are.

(BARKS)

Come here, Beethoven.

Good boy.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING

oN Tv)

What the... What?

Who is this?

Hi, Dad. This is Beethoven.

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