Beethoven's Christmas Adventure Page #6

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KENNY:
Ho, ho, ho

Ho, ho, ho

(BARKlNG)

Quiet! You'll wake up my mom.

Visit me, Sylvester Smirch

lt's him.

lt's him.

No, no, no, no,

he's saying that

that's the guy that

stole Santa's toy bag.

Where all the hottest toys...

Will be in stock.

That's right.

It's almost as if we have an endless supply.

Oh! Oh!

That's Santa's toy bag.

We found it. Yes.

Good work, guys.

Rub my belly.

Rub my belly.

Hey, calm down, elf.

Come on, big fella,

move those big bones.

l'm coming. l'm coming.

Hold on to your whiskers.

Okay. So my mom would kill me if l

left the house while l was grounded.

So, you guys are gonna take this one yourself.

No problemo.

You know, l'm thinking

these two fur balls

can handle it

all by themselves.

You got that right, elf.

STRAY:
On our way.

Operation Red Bag,

here we come.

SMlRCH ON PA:

Merry Christmas, shoppers.

Sylvester Smirch here.

Welcome to Most Wanted Toys.

Don't forget to stop by the Shop Till You Drop Corner

for the hottest

and most wanted toys.

These prices, ridiculous. Ridiculous!

But l've been to every other store in town,

they're all sold out.

This guy really does seem to have an endless supply.

Everyone, wait. Okay?

You guys cannot buy these toys.

These toys are supposed to be

going to kids all around the world.

What are you talking about?

What l'm talking about

is these toys are stolen.

(ALL GASP)

That's right.

These toys do not belong to the owner of this store.

Elf trouble.

You're saying these

toys are stolen?

They are stolen

directly from

Santa himself.

That's right, everyone.

The prices are so low,

it's as if these toys are stolen from Santa himself.

(LAUGHlNG) Just a little

viral marketing, folks!

That concludes

our 12:
00 show.

Great show.

There will be additional

performances throughout the day.

What are you talking about, Smirch?

Uh, folks, please ignore Binky,

the drunken elf here.

He's had a little too much eggnog this morning.

(EXCLAlMlNG lN PAlN)

Kenny, rip these

nice people off.

l mean, ring these nice people up.

l'll be right back.

Get out.

Hey, you listen

to me, all right?

l'm not leaving here

without Santa's toy bag.

lf you're not gone in the next three minutes,

l'm gonna call the police.

And who do you think

they're going to believe?

A taxpaying merchant

with a lease and a permit

or little Mr. Fancy Pants

and his mangy-mutt parade?

Hey!

Chop-chop. Let's shop.

(GROANS)

All right. We have

to get back in there.

l wonder if they sell

chewy toys in there.

HENRY:
Hey.

You see that small window in the back?

All right, here's the plan.

l can create a diversion out here

and you guys can sneak around and grab the bag.

l think l can handle that.

HENRY:
But...

How am l gonna do that?

Hey, elf.

Not now, Beethoven.

Can't you hear that music?

Beethoven, seriously,

all right?

This is no time

for music, okay?

We're trying to

think of a plan here.

Music is the plan, silly.

What do you mean,

"Music is the plan"?

Come on, elf.

Get moving.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa.

(SlNGlNG JINGLE BELLS)

BEETHOVEN:
Now, go.

Go. Go. Go. Go.

Whoa! Whoa!

All right,

they call you Beethoven for a reason, huh?

BEETHOVEN:
Come on.

Let's go, little guy.

Right behind you.

(CONTlNUE SlNGlNG)

Hey, hey. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Hey, hey.

Um, l'm new in town and l would

love to be a part of your group.

Dude, do you ever wear

your regular clothes?

Who are you anyway?

The name's Presley.

Elfis Presley.

Anyways, um,

would you guys be interested in taking a new member?

Uh, not really.

Oh, come on.

Please. Please. Please.

Easy, Presley,

don't get your

bells in a bunch.

Just stay in tune.

Don't frighten

anyone, capisce?

Yeah.

(SlNGlNG CONTlNUES)

Here you go,

three more.

Oh, boy. Christmas carolers.

Don't even

think about it.

Just one song. l mean,

everybody loves Christmas music, right?

Wrong. Besides,

it's probably just another trick by that irritating elf.

(SCOFFS)

Come on!

An entire crowd of Christmas carolers?

l'll make you a deal,

we get to listen to one Christmas carol

and you don't have to buy me

a Christmas present this year.

l wasn't going to get you a Christmas present anyway.

Oh, please, boss,

with candy canes on top. Come on.

l just want to hear

the Christmas carolers!

Oh, all right.

lf it'll shut you up.

lt will.

No, no, no, boss.

One song.

For the memories.

(SNlFFlNG) Good thing l'm

comfortable around garbage.

l am in hell.

l wonder if this is considered barking and entering.

BEETHOVEN:

Come on. Let me in.

What are you

waiting for?

l'm freezing my jingle bells off out here.

December is all

work and no play

...hours of an

average working day

I'll try to make it

through Christmas day

(HENRY LAUGHS)

Wait a second.

Those aren't the lyrics.

Oh, what?

You don't know that verse?

SMlRCH:
Hey!

lt's that insane elf.

Where?

Well, then, where is...

Santa's bag!

Get back here with that.

HENRY:
Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me!

Hold this.

Let go.

(GROWLlNG)

Give me that!

Give it to me,

you bloated flea bag!

(SCREAMS)

Mommy!

Good boy, Beethoven.

l'll take it from here.

(BEETHOVEN BARKlNG)

No!

l got it.

l actually got it!

(GROANlNG)

SMlRCH:
Officer.

l'd like to report

a robbery

and a canine assault.

Listen, all right?

l am not the one who stole the toy bag, okay?

lt was him.

lt was that guy right there.

Uh-huh. Tell it to the judge,

Christmas elf.

ln the mean time,

you have the right to remain silent.

CAROLERS:
Silent night Holy night

All is calm

All is bright

Cram it, carolers.

How rude!

(CAROLERS VOlCE DlSGUST)

All right,

get in the cruiser.

HENRY:

Wait, no! Stop it!

(PANTlNG)

You take that stray to the shelter.

(WHlMPERS)

Tata.

Mr. Smirch, l'll meet you back at the police station.

You stay there.

No.

Thank you, Officer.

No, you are a grumpy,

grouchy, evil person.

They made me do it.

(SlREN WAlLlNG)

Uh, just needs more

Christmas stuff.

You know, like,

do you think we can get

some of those big

Christmas balls?

Christmas balls?

Yeah.

You know, those big,

colorful ornament balls?

Oh, and some sprigs of holly,

you know, for Holly-wood?

Big Christmas balls

and sprigs of holly?

Sure, l'll rustle

some up right now.

(SlREN WAlLlNG)

Wonder what's going on.

l heard some nut

dressed like a Christmas elf got

arrested for robbing a toy store.

REXFORD:
Christine?

This is our float?

CHRlSTlNE:

Hi, Mr. Rexford. Yes.

Um, listen,

l know it's a little different from what we discussed,

but there were some problems with the model,

so we had to make

a few small changes.

Problem with the model?

What sort of problem?

Uh, it's kind of

a long story.

Don't you worry,

float's gonna be great.

Needs balls.

Excuse me?

You know, those big,

colorful ornament balls.

You have some of those?

Of course,

Mr. Rexford.

And how about some little wrapped presents, too?

l mean, for heaven's sakes,

that's what Christmas is about,

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