Behind the Scenes of 'The Last Remake of Beau Geste' Page #4

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but this is not even for your eyes...!

Arabs!

Battlestations!

Kriegsmanver!

Fire!

Good shot, Dig!

Wind compensation - zwei und

zwanzig degrees, true North!

...zwei und zwanzig degrees,

true North...!

Und - feuer!

Scheissmerde!

AJAX:

CAMEL INFLATOR:

Excuse me...

Am I in any sort of danger here?

Digby, look...

Look, they got our flag!

We'll have to get another one!

You take that side,

I'll take this.

Good luck!

Jump it!

We interrupt this important battle

to bring you the news...

...the score is twenty-three dead,

seven wounded on either side.

We'll be right back to the action,

right after this message...

HONEST HAKKIM:

OFFERS YOU A GENUINE DEAL

Shalom, Salam,

welcome effendis!

I wanna tell you something...

...you want a good set of humps,

come to camel-lot...

...come to Hakkim's camel-lot!

I've got here the best deals in town,

look at this here -

...this is our customized animal,

this is a beauty...

...this one has been

just recently de-humped.

Comes with an automatic mouth-wash,

you can't miss a deal like this...!

Here we got the bargain of the week,

one lady owned camel...

...this camel has never gone anywhere,

just stood around looking good...

...come on down,

take advantage of me!

This is a beautiful animal.

This happens to be a convertible.

You take off the hump,

you put on a couple dots...

...what have you got

in the summer, you got a giraffe...

...the kids will love it!

Come on in!

Over here I got a special couture...

This camel is serviced

four times a day!

...by that camel.

In fact, I'll put them together,

you can be a two camel family!

That's all I'm gonna show you...

...I got the biggest

camel-lot in the whole world...

...not to mention the valley.

So you come on down,

you take the trail to fez...

...just stop and you make a left turn

over at the first sand dune heading east...

...you come on down,

bring the kids...

...I'll stand upon my fez

until my face is such a mess...

See Hakkim, see Hakkim,

see Hakkim...!

And now,

back to the battle...!

Digby...!

Looks like

we've beaten them off, Beau.

They'll coma again at dawn.

They always do in sthis kind of story.

Now remember...

Save your last bullet for yourself!

Yes, I'd like a souvenir...

Oh, Dig...

If I'm pipped before you are...

...don't forget what we agreed.

- The Viking funeral?

- That's the ticket.

Make sure I'm buried at sea.

Might be a bit tricky out here,

but I'll do what I can...

Geste et Geste

nil separatum est...

- BATTLE

I see you haven't done much

of this sort of thing, Digby...

How'd you know my name is Digby?

What sort of thing...?

Who are you...?

I think I've seen you...

You're in movies, aren't you?

Older brother takes care

of everything.

I promise you.

You're not Beau...

You didn't steal the "Blue Water"...

How do you know

about the "Blue Water"...?

The Gestes

always stick together.

I keep telling you

you're not a Geste!

Digby!

Somebody always

gets out of these things.

It might be you.

I bloody well hope it is...!

Look, can you just direct me to the

end of this scene, that's all I ask?!

Well, that's very kind of you...

Thank you very much.

Moroccan Gold, eh?

No wonder you

always talk so slurred...

Really heavy sh*t...

Now... where were we?

Let's get some rest...

Yes! Yes.

You have a nice little sleep.

I'll find my own way out...

"MEANWHILE...

IN ANOTHER PART OF THE STORY..."

How do you do!

How too delightful

of you to pop in!

Harry brought you

tea and crumpets yet?

Thank you, but no.

I have come here on business.

Aaah! But - you must introduce me

to your delightful companion!

Lady Flavia Geste...

Oh, goodness, how superb...

Enough of the social graces...

I've been going over the

last quarterly return, Sheikh...

The war is losing money.

Two weeks ago I advanced you

one million francs, for weapons.

And what have I to show for it?

A lousy three thousand

dead legionnaires.

You'll attack Zindeneuf once more.

Only this time...

...I want everyone killed.

We sing as we march,

and we march as we sing...

...as we

with a song on our lips...

We fight as we march,

as we march as we fight...

...but we sing

as we cash in the chips...

Company, atten-tion!

Present-arms!

Is saluting that man...?

Oh, yes...

All right,

my little fledermauses...

Those who survived

did quite well.

Those who got killed

did rather better...!

So to keep up your morale, there

will be a little celebration tonight!

A regimental ball...!

You will enjoy yourself...

That's an order!

Meanwhile I hear

that the "Blue Wa..."

You can't be too careful...

...sooo, the "Blue Water"

has come back to us again.

Yeah, that's nice...

I have reason to believe...

it is secreted about his person.

It's not in his pockets...

...I picked them...

In that case, you'll have

to pick his person...

I was looking for the soap...

I have searched his person...

...the "Blue Water" is not there...!

Boldini suspects

it must be somewhere else...

...but where is somewhere else...?!?

His private quarters...

I'm not touching those again!

Mother certainly gets

around a bit, doesn't she...?

Aaah, sergeant!

How delightful to see you again!

I believe you have

a little trinket for me...?

Welcome to Fort Zindeneuf,

gndige Frau...!

...not yet,

tonight it'll be in my hands...

...If you will do me

the honor of partenaire-ing me...?

Certainly...

Protocol demands I dance my

first waltz with sergeant Markov...

Aaah, there you are...

No-one has asked me to dance...

...and I'm tired of

being a wall-flower...

Aren't you going to dance

with your mother...?

With pleasure...

You're behaving very foolishly...

...I know you have the "Blue Water".

We both could live very well...

I could dance like this all night...

When I leave you tonight, I'm

going to take two things with me.

The "Blue Water"...

...and you.

What hour...?

All right gentlemen,

synchronize your hourglasses.

We leave in exactly seventy...

...thousand grains of sand...!

Twenty five minutes, and then

we must leave, Merdmanger.

But how can you speak of leaving,

mon gnral, when you are having

such a wonderful time...?

- Did the earth move for you, darling?

- I did feel... something.

I only hope I lived up to what a

mother should expect from her son.

You performed heroicly.

Oh, you know, I haven't got it

with me... the "Blue Water".

Beau, let's go away together now...

Oh no...

No, we must go back to the fort.

But I don't want to be there

when they attack at dawn!

Hmmm?

At dawn...?

A...attack at dawn...?

...well, who...?

...how do you know they

will attack at dawn...?

See I break like the wind...!

- All right! Give me my leg!

- The battle leg...?

Of course the battle leg!

What's the bugle sounding

for, if it's not the battle leg...?

Come quick...

It's an anti-clockwise thread here...

...never mind the pain...!

Nobody falls?

Why doesn't anyone fall?

Nobody...?

What kind of a war is this...?

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