Behind the Scenes with Blake Edwards' 'The Great Race' Page #3

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But it's amazing that you were able

to accomplish what you did.

You mean amazing because I'm a woman.

The Steamer is a fast, sporty,

attractive automobile...

...designed for city driving

and country picnics.

You're lucky it didn't blow up on you.

You know, it's really amazing that anyone

was able to go this far. I congratulate you.

Not as a woman, but an intrepid autoist.

You mean an intrepid woman autoist.

A rather dubious honor when you consider

that the accomplishment is predicated...

...on the fact that you chose

the wrong automobile.

But the choice was not mine.

My editor, a man, made the arrangements.

Your editor is something less

than an authority on automobiles.

But you, on the other hand, claim full

knowledge of the auto and its workings.

So, being a woman, you chose to ignore

the practical evidence, acted emotionally...

...entered the race knowing full well

that you couldn't possibly finish.

Oh, I'll finish.

May I ask how?

No, you may not ask how, but I'll finish.

I may not still be an official entry...

...but I will report every foot of this race.

- I'll get another car.

- From where?

If I don't, I'll get something else.

I'll find a way, even if I have to walk.

What are you waiting for?

Every minute wasted

is another mile for Professor Fate.

We'll take you as far as Boracho,

where I pick up some gasoline.

- Perfect.

- From there, you're on your own!

Thank you. My luggage, please.

Hezekiah, the young lady's luggage please.

Indian attack! We're being attacked!

Smoke screen, Max!

Give them the smoke screen!

No, you idiot! The smoke screen!

Push the button, Max!

Smoke screen!

Get it down! Get it down!

Take cover, you fools, take cover!

Indians! Savages!

Indian attack!

Get a posse! Savages behind us!

- Help!

- Savages attacking us! Indians!

Take cover!

Welcome to Boracho.

Yes, thank you.

Indians, savages attacking us!

- Right behind us. An attack!

- What's funny?

That was just the sheriff and some

of the men dressed up like Indians.

- Why, they rode out to welcome you.

- That's very reassuring, Mr. Mayor.

Now if you will just show us where

the gasoline is, we'll be on our way.

You understand every second counts.

- You can't go now.

- What do you mean we can't go now?

You're the guest of honor.

Well, I don't want to be a guest of honor.

I got to present you

with this here key to the city!

He doesn't want a key, he wants gas!

- As Mayor of Boracho, l...

- I want gas and I want it now!

- You ain't gonna get no gas till tomorrow!

- Tomorrow.

You're gonna accept this here key.

You're gonna attend that meeting tonight...

...or, by jumped-up Harry, you're gonna be

guest of honor at a necktie party!

Necktie?

Well, what kind of cheap present is that?

Listen to me, you cheap,

mealy-mouthed, third-rate war healer!

- Somebody get me a rope.

- You want a rope?

I got a rope in the car.

Somebody get me a rope!

Hurry up, they're leaving.

Oh! Get me a rope, somebody!

Get me a rope!

- You gonna give us any trouble?

- I beg your pardon.

We been planning this here shindig

for over a week.

Now do we string up the bunch of you or

cooperate and be the guest of honor.

I greet you with cordiality and good cheer.

It's a pleasure to be the great honor.

It's a big celebration tonight.

You ain't gonna get no gas till tomorrow.

We look forward to celebrating

and the hospitality of your community.

Quiet! Citizens of Boracho! Quiet!

Citizens of Boracho. Thank you.

As Mayor of Boracho, I offer a toast...

...to our guest of honor, The Great Leslie!

To the fair city of Boracho.

Now here she is...

...the Queen of the West,

Boracho's own Lily Olay!

- I spotted the gas!

- Shut up.

Howdy, Mayor. Howdy, Sheriff.

Hello, there, Curly.

Hello, there.

Lily, this here's our guest of honor,

The Great Leslie.

It's a pleasure to meet you.

Welcome to Boracho, honey.

Won't you join us?

Just for a minute. Scoot over.

How long are y'all going to be here?

Unfortunately, just for the night.

We have to leave in the morning.

That's a pity.

I would like to propose a toast

to Miss Olay.

It's lucky Texas Jack ain't around.

He'd gun that dude for sure.

Pardon me, Mr. Partner.

Who is this Texas Jack?

Who's Texas Jack?

The roughest, toughest gunslinger

in these parts.

Lily is his girl.

- Lily's his girl.

- Terrific!

Honey, your smile is downright painful!

Thank you. Are you a native of Boracho?

I ain't no native, I was born here!

- Mr. Partner.

- Yes.

Where would I find this Texas Jack?

He's got a ranch

about eight miles south of town.

I have to get on that moon again.

Don't go away, you hear?

- It's been a pleasure to meet you.

- Welcome to Boracho, honey.

Jack.

Now wait a minute, Jack.

This is a friendly celebration.

Fiddle-de-dee! I don't much like

the way you're celebrating.

So you just step back, Sheriff,

unless you want to fall back.

Howdy, Jack, honey.

Jack, honey, don't get rough.

He's the guest of honor.

Now just a moment.

I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage.

As you can see, I am unarmed.

He's unarmed.

- Let's get the gas.

- Not yet.

All right now, everybody stand back

and give a man some fighting room.

Now will you give me some fighting room?

My camera!

Citizens of Boracho, stop!

Music, somebody! Start the music!

Citizens of Boracho!

Now will you give me some fighting room?

Jack, honey!

Excuse me, please.

- Now look what you've done.

- Me?

There's the gas.

There's a fight! Fight in the saloon! Fight!

Fight in the saloon! Big fight! Fight!

Fight! There's a big fight

in the saloon. Texas Jack! He's drunk!

Max! Max, you idiot, the gas.

Where's the car?

Get the car!

Hey, boss!

Now can I have me some fighting room?

The back is full. I'll put the rest

of the gas in the seat.

Leave it? Can't leave it for Leslie.

Leave Leslie to me. Start the car. The car.

Switch on!

My apologies.

The gasoline!

We shall win!

Well, that finishes Leslie.

Oh, no, not Leslie. Never Leslie.

The Great Leslie. He'll think of something,

but we'll be in Alaska by the time he does.

I'm offering you a lift.

Or would you prefer

an engraved invitation?

- I might consider an apology.

- An apology?

For what?

It's twenty miles back to Boracho.

- You'd never make it.

- Well, that's your fault.

My fault.

I warned you.

I would not be left behind in Boracho.

You left me no choice

so I had to stow away in Fate's car.

And he cast you adrift.

If you had provided me

with transportation to Grommett...

...where I could have caught a train,

it never would have happened.

Grommett was 100 miles out of our way.

And where are you going now?

Professor Fate destroyed all the gasoline,

Grommett is a matter of necessity.

And when you reach Grommett

you'll send for gasoline?

But if you were to send for gasoline now

it would be in Grommett when you arrived.

If I were to send for gasoline now

I would need a telegraph.

Not necessarily.

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