Behind the Scenes with Blake Edwards' 'The Great Race' Page #6

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But he might cross at any moment.

It's been my experience, General...

...that there is little advantage

to winning if one wins too easily.

What do you say to that, General?

An admirable point of view.

For anyone, but a soldier.

In my profession, to win is imperative.

To win easily is a blessing.

Yes, blessing. He has terrible mottos

written all over his walls like:

"If a good soldier dies with his boots on,

rest assured they're polished."

- Good evening, Your Highness.

- Rolfe, you rogue, where have you been?

My apologies for being late,

Your Highness, but I was delayed by...

...some last minute business.

You haven't been dueling again,

you naughty boy.

No, Your Highness.

Mr. Leslie, this is Baron Rolfe Von Stuppe.

Baron Von Stuppe,

is Carpania's greatest swordsman.

Matter of fact,

his prowess with the blade...

...is surpassed only by his reputation

with the ladies.

- Baron.

- I'm honored.

Sit and drink up. The evening's young,

we're all going to have such a gay...

Brandy! What kept you?

What makes you so great, Mr. Leslie?

Greatness is a light-hearted title

for theatrical amusements.

Or a definition endowed on men...

...too long dead

to know that its been awarded.

I'm simply Leslie.

And I'm at your service, Your Highness.

Goodness gracious.

You know there's one thing wrong

with living in a palace:

It takes so long to get from one place

to another.

I live in a constant state of exhaustion.

Poor Prince!

One good thing, when one was young,

you could play along the corridors.

I used to ride my pony up and down

this corridor when I was young.

Then I grew up and got drunk, and fell off.

I'm going to bed, now.

Good night, Your Highness.

- Who is going to tuck me in?

- I can manage that.

No. You're the sloppiest tucker-inner

in all Potzdorf.

If there's anything I abhor,

it's a sloppy tucker-inner.

Good night, you good Leslie, you.

Sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite.

There, kids.

They've been waiting for me.

Mumsey...

...l'm afraid I had

a teeny-weeny bit too much to drink.

But then again, I always have

a teeny-weeny bit too much to drink.

Because Mumsey isn't here to scold me.

I wish Mumsey were here.

Hello.

Good night, Mumsey.

Running like a top.

Good mechanics always

got to keep checking. Every little thing.

A beautiful machine.

Indeed it is.

And you make sure nobody gets nearer

than 50 feet to it, you understand?

Unless of course, it's me or...

...Mr. Leslie.

- Don't worry.

Well, I'll see you in the morning.

Looks like a beautiful night.

I think I'll just take

a little stroll around the palace.

Don't make too much noise.

It's a secret.

A secret? I love secrets.

- What's the secret?

- What we're doing, your Highness.

We're going to take you for a little ride.

Good. Where are we going?

For a little ride, your Highness.

In you go.

Speed on.

King, I'm going to be king.

It'll do no good

to get the bars out off the windows.

You and your stupid ideas.

Max can't accomplish anything

with a pen knife.

And if he could,

it's at least a 100-foot drop.

Unhand me! You blackguards, scoundrels!

Unhand me!

I demand to see the American Consul.

You blundering idiots!

You'll answer to my government

for this outrage! Outrage!

You have kidnapped me.

Fate the Magnificent!

Let's get practical.

I don't care what you do to the others...

...as long as you let me go.

What do you say to $500?

Professor...

...allow me to present

His Royal Highness, Prince Hapnick.

Heir to the throne of Carpania.

Hi, there.

It's out!

No!

I suggest you reconsider.

I won't do it!

Then you leave us no alternative.

I'll do it.

Don't just stand there, do something.

Hezekiah, please wake up.

Hezekiah?

Please, Hezekiah.

Max!

Open this door!

Max, you little rat! I'll get you for this.

By tomorrow, you'll be king.

After that you declare General Kuhster

chancellor and quietly abdicate.

Your Highness,

remember one slip and you're dead.

Aren't we all?

Good evening.

When we get back to the palace,

you must trim your mustache.

You must look exactly like the prince.

Can you laugh?

What do you mean can I laugh?

- The prince has a very individual laugh.

- Like what?

No, that's much too bass.

The prince is more of a soprano. Try it.

Try it once more.

I demand to know what this is all about.

You've been told. You're under arrest.

I know, but for what?

- Spying.

- Spying?

At last, the Great Leslie is finished.

I've won!

They said I never could. Get off of the bed!

Don't you try any double-crosses,

my friend, keep our deal.

He stays in the pokey

until I'm safely in Paris.

When it comes to double-crossers,

you are looking at the king!

Not until you've trimmed your mustache,

Your Majesty.

I hate you.

I've come to see the Great Leslie.

I'm sorry, Padre,

I can't let anyone see the prisoner...

...without the proper authority.

I understand. Bless you, my son.

Leslie!

I'm here. In here.

- Max!

- We've got to save the professor.

What about Miss Dubois and Hezekiah?

- They're with the baron.

- The baron?

He's got everybody.

We've got to go save the professor.

Stop! Stop!

Escaped?

With a small friar.

Leslie escaped with a chicken?

No, you idiot, with a friar.

A monk. A priest.

What should we do?

The coronation must take place

without delay.

With Leslie free, every minute counts.

You're right. With Leslie on the loose,

every second counts.

Are you sure that the baron's castle

is on a lake?

I'm positive. Great big lake.

And the only lake on this map

is straight ahead.

You're not serious?

Deadly serious.

You're a sadistic fiend.

He has only to answer

a few simple questions.

Not the mustache.

Why did you come here?

Who sent you?

- Proceed.

- No!

Touch one hair on his head

and you'll answer to...

...Teddy Roosevelt

and the United States government!

"My country 'tis of thee

"Sweet land of liberty of thee I sing"

That's it. On the lake.

Come on, we'll save the professor.

Maximillian, if Miss Dubois and Hezekiah

are not in that castle...

They're there, I swear it.

Come on, save the professor.

They're there. Cross my heart.

Terrific.

What's more, do as I tell you.

Stay down. Down.

"Land where our fathers died

"Land of thy pilgrim's pride

from every mountainside

"Let freedom ring"

Shut up, Professor.

They're there.

Here comes the Marines!

Good evening, Baron.

Well, Mr. Leslie.

What a pleasant surprise.

I half expected to see you again, but...

...not with a sword in your hand.

Do you prefer the foil?

Not particularly.

It happened to be convenient.

I presume you know how to use one.

I hope that won't be necessary.

I'm sure you do.

Will you release Miss Dubois

and the others?

- No.

- I'm afraid this will be necessary.

You're being very foolish.

That's an assumption, Baron. You make

me the victim even before we start.

It's your life.

You're assuming again. En garde.

Very adroit, Mr. Leslie. Very skilled.

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