Bellflower

#Lord #

# We will be hurt #

#But we'll be okay #

#Lord #

#Life will be blessed ##

Okay.

Imagine...

the apocalypse

is just starting, right?

Okay,

I'm imagining it. Okay.

And nobody's ready, right?

'Cause it just happened,

and its all chaos,

and everybody is like,

"What do we do?

Like, the f***ing world is ending."

And we roll up

in the most evil-looking,

rumbling, badass,

flame-throwing muscle car.

And one of us gets out...

with a hundred pounds ofbrass

and steel strapped to our back...

and just starts torching everything,

completely surrounded by fire.

Okay?

Who do you think

is going to be in charge?

Mother Medusa?

Motherfucking Medusa.

Dude, I'm really not feeling

like going out again tonight.

That was the worst thing

that could have happened.

I don't know if that's the worst thing

that could've happened.

She could have spit on me

or kicked me in the balls.

That would've been awesome.

We could've got beat up.

Okay, listen.

We're going out again tonight.

I, for real, am starting to feel like girls

don't even like me anymore.

Do you know what I was thinking earlier

when I was looking into your eyes...

when you were holding

that big gun by me?

What?

Dude, you harsh reminded me

of Lord Humungous.

No, I'm serious.

It was awesome.

And I was the Birdman.

It was sweet.

Okay, listen.

We're going out tonight,

and if I even catch you

looking at someone...

I don't care if it's a f***ing guy...

you're gonna hit on them.

You're gonna pick them up,

you're gonna take them home,

and I am gonna be right

by your side the whole time.

Like, the whole time.

Okay.

Until the finishing act.

All right.

So we're sure

we don't need that tank?

Yeah.

All right.

You worried about ricochet?

Dude, you're holding a 12-gauge,

double-barrel, sawed-off shotgun.

We're gonna be fine.

All right. Okay.

Wait.

That's settled then.

We're switching to diesel.

Propane is for pussies.

Propane is for pussies.

Come on. It's time to get ready, dude.

Ladies and gentlemen,

if I could have your attention

for a couple moments.

My name is John Huck,

and it is time for the main event.

Oh, yeah!

Whoo!

Take a look

at these nice little...

crickets!

All right. Hey...

Where's my spotlight?

Hello. All right. Thank you.

Now what I need are two dumb-asses

to come up here...

and compete

in a cricket-eating contest...

for this $50 gift certificate

to some shitty restaurant.

Hey, Johnny! What's up?

Is that f***ing Milly?

I'll eat some bugs.

What's the big deal?

Okay. Anybody here have what it takes...

to, uh, beat this innocent little girl?

What's up? What is up?

I'll take on that little daddy's girl.

Okay.

Oh, damn. That sounds

like a threat to me, right?

All right, everybody. We

got a match! Yeah!

You're gonna get your ass kicked.

Dude, I think that was the sweetest thing

I've ever seen you do.

I think that was the

stupidest thing I've ever done.

Dude, did you get her

phone number? F*** you.

Hey, guys.

Oh, my God,

if it isn't the criminal b*tch...

who stole all the glory

from my main man.

- Hey, it's what I do.

- What's up? Have a seat.

All right.

Oh. Hey.

Hey.

That was quite the show

you put on up there.

Aw, thank you.

Yeah, it's been, like, 12 hours...

since I've seen a girl put that

much gross sh*t in her mouth.

Oh, wow.

Quite the charmer.

I'm sorry. Um, I'm Aiden.

Milly.

Just to let you guys know,

that's probably the dumbest f***ing thing

I've seen anybody do for $50 in my life.

Oh, you think that's dumb?

You guys should've been here last week.

What? We were here

last week! You were here?

Yeah. When the creepy old guy

came out of the crowd.

No sh*t! What was wrong with that guy?

So you were actually gonna

let them set you on fire?

I'm gonna let you in

on a little secret.

- They did set me on fire.

- What?

- Yes!

- We stayed after hours.

And I missed it?

Yup.

Oh, my God. That was

all I wanted that night...

was to f***ing see that sh*t.

Looks like you made some friends. Yeah!

Watch out for these boys.

They're bad news.

Oh, they have to

watch out for us.

Okay. We're gonna need...

three pitchers of beer

and a round of shots.

Oh, my God. No.

What?

Okay. Make it whiskey.

Wait. Right? Right?

Joe!

Two shots of whiskey each.

And do you have a deck

of playing cards?

You know, it's illegal

for me to give you cards in here.

Actually, I did know that. Good.

Hey, there, buddy.

Hey.

Did you think you could just

sneak away and I wouldn't notice?

I wasn't sneaking away.

I was just getting you your drink.

Really?

Yes.

But I'm very bad

at getting bartenders' attention.

That's okay. We can do

it together. Okay. Cool.

So your friend...

He's a little bit of a bastard.

What, Aiden?

Ah! Ohh! Go!

Mmm. No. He's just crazy.

Once you get to know him, he's, like,

the sweetest dude you'll ever know.

I'm sure. Hey. I was wondering

when you were gonna come see me.

Sorry. Been busy. How you doing?

Good. You know,

just the usual. Yeah, I hear you.

So what can I get for you?

Um,

I'm gonna get two beers

and two shots of whiskey.

That's perfect.

Nice.

So your name's Woodrow?

Yes.

Milly.

Nice to meet you.

Likewise.

So that was awesome, right?

What?

The contest.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We put on this

whole little show.

You called me a daddy's girl. Yeah.

I was like,

"Ooh, who is this guy?"

And then I couldn't even eat

a single grasshopper.

Oh, you were right.

Uh, maybe.

So who are you? Where are

you from? What do you do?

Uh, wow. Okay.

Um, I live around here,

but I'm from Wisconsin originally.

And I spend...

Oh, my God.

What?

Sorry. Um, your shoes.

Oh, yeah. I need to get new ones.

They're pretty bad.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

What do you do?

Oh, um, I'm building a flamethrower.

You're building a flamethrower? Yes.

F*** you.

No, I really am.

And I'm really excited about it.

That is probably the weirdest

thing I have ever heard.

I like you.

I like you too.

Okay, drink a pitcher.

I'm drunk. I can't.

Okay. I'll make you a deal.

Will you go home with me

if I drink this entire pitcher?

No.

Okay. It's a deal then.

Oh, my God. Ew.

No.

Ohh!

Oh, my God.

Ahhh!

Hey!

Are you guys doing okay over there?

I think he's coming over here.

Sh*t.

Okay. You put

this between your b*obs.

Wait. No, no, no.

And you put this

in your mouth.

Don't be a p*ssy.

So?

So?

Um, it was really, really awesome

meeting you tonight.

You too.

Can I take you out sometime?

Of course.

Okay. Can I take you

out to dinner tomorrow?

Yes.

Okay. Cool.

Do you want my number?

Yes, I do.

That's what I need is your number.

Okay. Okay. Oh.

What up, dog?

Hey. What's up?

Hmm, hmm, hmm!

How you doing?

Oh, sh*t.

Yeah.

Where did you go?

Oh, wait. What,

is this Saturday already?

Yes. What'd they have you do tonight?

Swallow flaming swords

and sh*t? Oh, God.

What?

No.

They had me eating crickets. Live.

That's disgusting, Milly.

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